Explain teenage mothers to me

[gonzo20]

Yeah, becuse calling someone stupid without giving an argument as to why isn't at all cuntish.

Calling someone stupid, with or without a reason, is an admission that you believe yourself to be better than they are.

If they've become mothers, I think they've already done something harder than you've experienced yet. Perhaps a little humility, or acceptance of their life choices?

haha root, you had children in the middle of a deadly dwarven fort full of death and many forgotten beasties and somehow your children still live, rather a miracle eh?

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Yeah, becuse calling someone stupid without giving an argument as to why isn't at all cuntish.

Calling someone stupid, with or without a reason, is an admission that you believe yourself to be better than they are.

If they've become mothers, I think they've already done something harder than you've experienced yet. Perhaps a little humility, or acceptance of their life choices?

haha root, you had children in the middle of a deadly dwarven fort full of death and many forgotten beasties and somehow your children still live, rather a miracle eh?

With only one arm as well. Bloody elves.

 

[michiehoward]

I hate to pop the bubble of the above posters, that these girls are having babies so they can selfishly have someone to love and love them in return. But it is much much worse then that.

Overwhelmingly in the cases I witness everyday. Its girls who will not for whatever reason do what life dictates. Go to school, get job, support self.

In my country we have welfare, and for low to middle class we have the CCTB, which is lovingly and truthfully named "Baby Bonus", this monthly money is given to take care of children, whether it be child care cost or diapers, its to supplement whatever other income a mother has.

Now say mother has 2 kids and is on welfare, here in Ontario, she may get 900 to 1000 dollars. The majority of that will go to rent. (hopefully)

For two children on a low income mother Baby Bonus will be $940 or so, if the kids are under 6.


Now for my proof that these "girls" aren't having babies for someone to love.

First hand example. Girl has two kids alittle over a year apart, our welfare system on the main will leave you alone (as in not force you to at least job search with the threat of being cut off) But once children reach the age where they can attend Kindergarten, they will start suspending you monthly. So to prevent this, the winter before children start all day school and kindergarten girl get pregnant and has another child before or around school starts. Welfare fucks off again for another 4 years and Baby Bonus goes up another 500 or so dollars.

So do you see the pattern. I have seen this with not just one person I know personally but with over a dozen. The worst starting popping out kids at 15.

Some things seem a bit... off, with your post.

Firstly: "Its girls who will not for whatever reason do what life dictates."

Right, that's what you said and I first thing I notice, it ain't what "life" dictates, it's what society dictates.
Second thing I notice, good for them! Now, I'm talking as a radical communist revolutionary here, but fuck society! Don't tie yourself down to what society expects of you!
My point is, you say that line as if it's a bad thing, which seems strange to me. And if these mothers can get away with living this life as you say, then why should we stop them? It's perfectly legal and maybe having loads of sprogs is how they want to live! What right do we have to stop them?

Secondly: Babies are a lot of work man, financially you gotta feed them, clothe them, house them, care for them, send them to school, possibly university. That's a lot of money there, these mothers will hardly be living the easy life.

And babies are a lot of hard work in other ways to, especially since a baby for the first few years is effectively a potato that screams at you and attempts to plug it's fingers into sockets and as they get older they don't get any less screamy or accidentally suicidal, they simply get better at getting into bad situations. These mothers aren't going to be living the slacker lifestyle.

Thirdly: I know you're all excited about your teen mother/child benefits conspiracy thing, but stop to consider why we have child benefits. No, nevermind, I'll tell you, because the child shouldn't have to suffer if the parent can't get money. Now, that's something pretty damn fundamental that I don't think we'll argue with, and it isn't worth snipping the possible exploits of child benefits, because you risk compormising it's central reason for existence. Geez.

Edit: Fourthly, the fact that just having kids is financially sustainable (a rather dubious "fact") isn't proof that *all* teen mothers are doing it for the cash.

For the first few mintues after reading your post I seriously thought you were trolling me.

Firstly, you don't have to explain to me how hard or difficult child rearing is, as I have two children.

Secondly I said nothing about a conspiracy, I am and was simply pointing out that young girls aren't just having babies because of their own "daddy issues".

Thirdly is not "financially sustainable" to keep having children to support the ones you already have. Children get more expensive as they grow!

And as to the rest, your right children shouldn't have to suffer because their parents can't or don't have money, but guess what they are suffering. And yes they do live a slacker lifestyle. What do you call when you make your slightly older children make the younger kids lunches and walk them to school? What do you call it when the kids are wearing dirty clothes? What do you call it when they can seem to appropriately shop on a budget, and the kids go without proper food for the last or first 11 days in a month? What do you call it when you get take out when you should be buying groceries, then hit afew food banks for the essentials. What do you call living in filth? What you call "sleeping in" and letting your children run wild and unsupervised?

I see this every day, every month the same cycle.

What do I think of welfare, its awesome. Welfare being manipulated? Horrid.
What do I call the "young mothers" who neglect and walk the line of abuse. Assholes.

Firstly: "Its girls who will not for whatever reason do what life dictates."

And yes that means not having kids at 15. Being a scam artist and liar is not a really lucrative career.

 

[MassiveGeek]

Yeah, becuse calling someone stupid without giving an argument as to why isn't at all cuntish.

Calling someone stupid, with or without a reason, is an admission that you believe yourself to be better than they are.

If they've become mothers, I think they've already done something harder than you've experienced yet. Perhaps a little humility, or acceptance of their life choices?

No it doesn't. I never said I was better, I said that kids who jump into motherhood before they're able to care for the brat are stupid because it is. I didn't say she specifically was stupid. However, she said I, specifically, was stupid without a fucking reason behind it, and just because she's fucked without protection and got knocked up and had a baby pop out of her vagina doesn't mean she's excused from acting however the fuck she wants without having to stand up for it. Same goes for everyone.
She made the choice to have the kid, I have no fucking sympathy for her oh-so-hard experience. There's something called abortion. I'm fairly confident she can stand her own ground too if she's so capable, white knight.

They can do and say what they want and I can do and say what I want. And that's that.

 

[Faladorian]

Well, I don't know about the States, but there is a reality show that airs here called Sixteen and Pregnant.

I am dead serious.

Between that and Toddlers and Tiaras, I'm really starting to worry about society.

We have both of those shows over here... Chilling.

 

[Caliostro]

I'm gonna remind everyone that posting on a hot, emotional, head is a bad idea. Regardless of how controversial the topic is, you're not allowed to insult (or "counter insult") each other. So, kindly behave.

@OP: Simple: Most of the time, they aren't thinking. They're just thinking about the "fun parts" of parenthood, without thinking of all the luggage that comes attached. When they realize it it's too late.

Which isn't to say some aren't honestly cut out for it, there are cases of "successful" teenage mothers. But they aren't the norm. Simply put, on average, teenagers are not ready to be mothers. They don't possess the skills, capacities and social stability necessary for such... the problem is when they don't realize that themselves.

 

[PipPup]

Well, I don't know about the States, but there is a reality show that airs here called Sixteen and Pregnant.

Is it the one made by Dr.Drew? That one was invented in the states.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

They can do and say what they want

So they're allowed to be mothers. So no problem then.

and I can do and say what I want.

Within the rules set down by the site.

And that's that.

Indeed.

 

[MassiveGeek]

They can do and say what they want

So they're allowed to be mothers. So no problem then.

and I can do and say what I want.

Within the rules set down by the site.

And that's that.

Indeed.

Wow, you disregarded my whole post and claimed stuff that I never said, like that they wouldn't be allowed to get knocked up. Yes, it feels good, sucking on that feeling of accomplishment through avoidance? Good going.

 

[evenest]

...Because I really can't wrap my head around the idea.

I can understand accidental teenage pregnancies. Mistakes can be made. People can be eager. Condoms can break. Accidental pregnancies make sense.

What I'm bothered by are these girls who, at a very young age, willingly step into motherhood with smiling faces and eager hearts. Why do they do it? What is the intended satisfaction?

I have an acquaintance from way back in high school. She became pregnant almost immediately after graduating. Rather than be sad or panicked she reported, via Facebook, that all had gone as planned and she was delighted. Fast forward to the present and, just by watching the status updates that I keep forgetting to unsubscribe to, you can tell that she's bored, poor, and lonely (her baby daddy has apparently vanished).

So, who can explain this whole mess to me?

Social conditioning. Look at the toys that are deemed acceptable to give to young girls--baby dolls, cooking sets, etc. The message is stated at an early age and repeated ad nauseum.

 

[Sansha]

They can do and say what they want

So they're allowed to be mothers. So no problem then.

and I can do and say what I want.

Within the rules set down by the site.

And that's that.

Indeed.

Wow, you disregarded my whole post and claimed stuff that I never said, like that they wouldn't be allowed to get knocked up. Yes, it feels good, sucking on that feeling of accomplishment through avoidance? Good going.

Just posting about this argument in particular - my sister (25) got knocked up last year after mixing the Pill with anti-biotics and having drunken sex with her then-boyfriend.

She complains about money, despite living in our late father's mansion and how she wants a new iPhone, and how her life is stressful and she doesn't have time for herself.

I love my sister and her son, but the last time she complained about this I said "Should'a thought about that before getting knocked up you dumb slut."

She lamented when she found out she was pregnant about how she didn't know the Pill and anti-biotics didn't mix. I said "You should have known. You're a woman, you're an adult, you ought to know."

 

[FPSfanatic]

It's sometimes based on religion, sometimes they love the child, sometimes they agree to the marriage but most of the time, where I'm from, we don't want to see our flesh and blood raised by anyone else. Children are important to some of the teen mothers I know, and they don't want to lose this child they found love for. I don't know why, but it seems like a normal decision for them to take care of it with the fathers help.

 

[SodaDew]

Sometimes the girl feels more 'grown up' keeping the baby (instead of abortion). I knew someone like that. So they throw on a smile and hope the father will stick around to help out.

 

[liveslowdiefast]

GASP people want to take a unconventional path with their lives! how could they intend on raising a child without proper finacial security, oh lord people not conforming to your view of how to spend their lives. THEY MUST BE STOPPED!

 

[mental_looney]

Baby crazy!

Not to down play the issue but some girls for one reason or another really really want a baby, or the really nuts one in my school who thought a baby was just like a puppy but it talked back.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Wow, you disregarded my whole post

Your callous indifference and proselytizing? No, I noted that, just didn't find it important.

and claimed stuff that I never said,

Direct quote. Take a look.

like that they wouldn't be allowed to get knocked up.

So, you, a teenager who has never had that option, automatically believe you know better than someone who's actually been there? Pardon me if I find that more offensive than your general belittling of others.

Yes, it feels good, sucking on that feeling of accomplishment through avoidance? Good going.

Better than ranting madly at the terrible world out there that's full of logical arguments you can't win purely by quoting ad hominem attacks against?

How about you try and talk to some of the women who've been through this and then draw a judgement; rather than simply condemn people you've never met for taking a different life choice than yourself.

I mean, that would be the more adult thing to do in this situation. Most situations really.

 

[Shivarage]

Attention seeking

"I have a baby..."

Suddenly they are the centre of attention

 

[RanD00M]

There's this girl I know that's one year younger than me, which makes her 16, that is not just taking her pregnancy with open arms but she is also not attending school so she can be a mother. I think the worst part of it is the fact that people, even grown adults, are cheering her on in basically throwing her life away. I kinda want to go to her and scream my head off at her and the father, who is 23 might I add, for this shit. They live at her parents place and he does not know how to handle money.

It also happens that neither of them happen to be particularly bright.

Okay, now for some on topic discussion. I don't really get the mentality behind it, although I kinda see where they are coming from. They might think that having a child is a lot easier than perceived by media/peers/whatever, and that it's all gonna be sunshine and lollipops. I think most of them don't understand the physical and mental burden of having a child, and I don't mean the birth itself but the act of raising it.
While many persons claim childbirth to have been one of the best things to have happened to them, seeing something they made grow up into an individual, I think they wore more prepared than what teen mothers are getting themselves into.

But hey, who am I to judge. None, since I have done some dumb fucking shit in my 17 years of life. And it isn't really my problem even if we live in the 21st century and this kind of shit really shouldn't be happening. Live and let live is what I guess I'm saying, even if it isn't the best course of action.

 

[Sansha]

Wow, you disregarded my whole post

Your callous indifference and proselytizing? No, I noted that, just didn't find it important.

and claimed stuff that I never said,

Direct quote. Take a look.

like that they wouldn't be allowed to get knocked up.

So, you, a teenager who has never had that option, automatically believe you know better than someone who's actually been there? Pardon me if I find that more offensive than your general belittling of others.

Yes, it feels good, sucking on that feeling of accomplishment through avoidance? Good going.

Better than ranting madly at the terrible world out there that's full of logical arguments you can't win purely by quoting ad hominem attacks against?

How about you try and talk to some of the women who've been through this and then draw a judgement; rather than simply condemn people you've never met for taking a different life choice than yourself.

I mean, that would be the more adult thing to do in this situation. Most situations really.

Did your own mother throw you face first into a wall or are you just not paying attention?

You claimed that I supposedly wanted to forbid people from getting knocked up. I never claimed anything on the like, and I don't agree with that at fucking all. That is what I fucking meant by saying you're saying shit I never even mentioned. You're drawing idiotic assumptions and that makes you look like a fucking moron.

I don't give a flying fuck about what you think is adult and mature, they're just fucking words that people stamp on themselves to seem more relevant. It's not working.

You're talking absolute shit.

Agreed. Root, I really have no idea what the hell you're talking about. I agree with Geek's perspective, especially having seen my sister go through this exact situation.

Her situation is good - she has a titanic inheritance to live on (as do I), she lives in a huge house on plenty of country land, the baby's father is a wonderful man, but I'm still irritated because the situation has been a drag on pretty much everyone. She has so many people babysitting at the drop of a hat because she feels like she needs to work, or whenever she wants to have a break from motherhood.

Both being completely unrealistic in my point of view.