Fast ways to make money?

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jdogtwodolla

phbbhbbhpbhphbhpbttttt......
Feb 12, 2009
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I need to make at least 300$ before a little over two weeks from now. I don't have any worthwhile material goods and no talent to make things to sell. I don't think I could find a part-time job soon enough to matter.

Do you escapists know of a way to make fast money?
 

Dags90

New member
Oct 27, 2009
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I can think of a couple suggestions, however they're probably not legal where you live. I would take a good long look at the material possessions you claim not to have though.
 
Dec 14, 2009
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Okay, here's what you do.

Time = moniez

Clocks = time

Clock shop = unlimited moniez.

No good?

Okay, the post office charges you for parcels based on weight.

Fill boxes with helium balloons so the packages are negative weight.

Post office pays you.

Repeat for unlimited moniez.
 

Baron von Blitztank

New member
May 7, 2010
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I got a few guys that need killing if you're interested.
I'd do it myself but I've been stricken with 'Cannot Be Arsed' so I'll be procrastinating for quite a while until it clears up.
 

Shadowstar38

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Jul 20, 2011
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It depends on if prostitution is legal in the country you live in. Provided that it is indeed legal, you can go to a club or some type of social gathering and offer your services to anyone willing to pay for it.

Oh! And age of consent. Look that up as well.
 

ohnoitsabear

New member
Feb 15, 2011
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There's always thievery, which has absolutely never failed for anyone, ever.

You could try your luck at gambling. You'll get that money in no time!

Alternatively, if you're into doing things outside the box, you can kill the person who you owe money. With that person gone, not only do you not have to pay them, but you couldn't even if you wanted to! Note, this also works for banks, credit card companies, even governments, you just have to kill many more people.

Seriously, though, you probably have close to $300 worth of stuff you can afford to get rid of. Looking at your profile, I can see that you have an Xbox live, PSN, and Steam account, so you probably have an Xbox, a PS3, and a computer, along with games. You can afford to get rid of all of these, except maybe not the computer (maybe being the key word here).
 

SciMal

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Dec 10, 2011
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jdogtwodolla said:
I need to make at least 300$ before a little over two weeks from now. I don't have any worthwhile material goods and no talent to make things to sell. I don't think I could find a part-time job soon enough to matter.

Do you escapists know of a way to make fast money?
1) Prostitution.*
2) Gambling.**
3) Pimping.***
4) Construction/landscaping.****
5) Plasma/blood donations.*****
6) Porn.******


* = May not be legal in your locale.
** = Not guaranteed to produce a net again, and may not be legal in your locale.
*** = Not legal in your locale. Requires bitches.
**** = Might require you to speak Spanish in the USA, but is legal.
***** = Cannot be afraid of needles, would have to visit multiple companies/centers.
****** = Men usually start out in gay porn, but is legal as long as you are filmed and the film is showed to other people for a profit.
 

IndomitableSam

New member
Sep 6, 2011
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Daystar Clarion said:
Okay, here's what you do.

Time = moniez

Clocks = time

Clock shop = unlimited moniez.

No good?

Okay, the post office charges you for parcels based on weight.

Fill boxes with helium balloons so the packages are negative weight.

Post office pays you.

Repeat for unlimited moniez.
I worked in a clock store... they paid just over minimum wage and commission. Best retail job ever. Run by Mennonites, also, so I always had Sundays off. Was great.

The bad part? All clocks have to be set on different times so you don't go deaf with a mass chiming... so instead, every few seconds a different clock is chiming.

You get used to it, though, don't even hear them after a while.

... On topic? Sell some stuff. Everybody's got stuff they don't need. Even clothes.

That, or volunteer yourself for tutoring or something. Got a car? Kijiji/Craigslist yourself as able to give rides for a few days.
 

jdogtwodolla

phbbhbbhpbhphbhpbttttt......
Feb 12, 2009
732
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Your suggestions are good, but My body is too small and inadequate for sex and crime.

IndomitableSam said:
Even clothes.

That, or volunteer yourself for tutoring or something. Got a car? Kijiji/Craigslist yourself as able to give rides for a few days.
Nothing in my house worth selling is mine, and I need to buy more clothes not sell the ones I have. Craigslisting myself sounds good though.

rhizhim said:
why the hell did you wait so long to get a job/until you almost reached the closing date?
why the hell do people on this site like to assume I haven't been doing things already?
 

Sonic Doctor

Time Lord / Whack-A-Newbie!
Jan 9, 2010
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If you figure out a legal and not questionable way to make that much money in a short period of time without having a job, tell me, because I would like to know as well. =P
 

The Salty Vulcan

New member
Jun 28, 2009
2,441
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Become a door to door produce salesman. Don't worry bout growing your stock, just buy stuff from the store and say that you grew it organically and shit. People will pay through the nose for the stuff they gobble up that crap.
 

DoomyMcDoom

New member
Jul 4, 2008
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Paint yourself with fake blood, stand on a street corner with a pot or something to collect money, write "Will resist the urge to murder for change" look angry/spooky if possible, wait... Proffit.
 

Akytalusia

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Nov 11, 2010
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get a loan. if that's not an option, busk. if you can't do that, stand on the street with a sign; beg. i hear they make decent enough money like that.
 

Trippy Turtle

Elite Member
May 10, 2010
2,119
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Pretend to have a cat in need of help. Post all over the internet.
If you have morals *shudder* then you might want to try asking a friend. Or Ebay.