Favorite drunken quotes
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Family Guy probably has the best of these, when Brian gets drunk (one of several times) in a Bar.
"I'm not drunk..I just have a speech-impediement"
-Falls of chair-
"And an inner ear infection.."
-Vomits-
"And a stomach virus.."
"I'm not drunk..I just have a speech-impediement"
-Falls of chair-
"And an inner ear infection.."
-Vomits-
"And a stomach virus.."
"The leabiand(sic) and punk (sic: Meant to be pink) flamingos counteract the chaotic goodness of the ferrets! Do you want the ferrets to take mt soul!" ~mwe drunk texting my best mate at 4am after I got utterly trashed after a bad night at work.
One rare example of myself realising that I'm drunk, speaking with surprising clarity to a just as drunk friend:
"You know, whenever I'm drunk, I've got a little man in the back of my head. And he's speaking all the time, telling me, all the damn time: 'Patrick, you're drunk! You're acting like an idiot!' He's going on and on about how silly this all is and how stupid you all are. Now give me a beer."
At least that is what I was told I said. Needless to say, my "little man" has become a kind of meme amongst my friends.
"You know, whenever I'm drunk, I've got a little man in the back of my head. And he's speaking all the time, telling me, all the damn time: 'Patrick, you're drunk! You're acting like an idiot!' He's going on and on about how silly this all is and how stupid you all are. Now give me a beer."
At least that is what I was told I said. Needless to say, my "little man" has become a kind of meme amongst my friends.
"I hear about the spelling bee you son of a *****" - My friend Dale. We still have no clue WTF he was talking about.
[youtube] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz6HDCXUzjs[/youtube]
Also:
'if you could be any character in scooby doo, which character would you be?'
'Velma's vagi...'
Also:
'if you could be any character in scooby doo, which character would you be?'
'Velma's vagi...'
A mate told me of sister after a long night on the champagne...
"I can only see through one ear!"
"I can only see through one ear!"
Mine was more of a scene. One night at uni I had stayed behind to finish a paper. It was about 11.30pm when I suddenly heard singing from outside. I ventured out to discover one of my flatmates crawling along the floor singing "WHOOOA I'M HALFWAY THERE WHOOOOA GOIN TO THE CLUB YEEA..." he passed out halfway through the sentence and stayed there for the rest of the night. XD
The best one I can remember in recent years:
"Don't let the Grim get me. it lurks in playgrounds. kinda pedo really..."
This was Jordan when drunk beyond belief. Having just randomly watched the 3rd Harry Potter film while drinking heavily, I'd gone to the corner shop to get...something. I can't remember what, but he asked me to get it. Anyway, I found him lying on the pavement near the child's playground that's right near my house.
He said that as I helped him back indoors.
"Don't let the Grim get me. it lurks in playgrounds. kinda pedo really..."
This was Jordan when drunk beyond belief. Having just randomly watched the 3rd Harry Potter film while drinking heavily, I'd gone to the corner shop to get...something. I can't remember what, but he asked me to get it. Anyway, I found him lying on the pavement near the child's playground that's right near my house.
He said that as I helped him back indoors.
The night after a serious drinking binge, my lab partner said to me:
"The plus side of being at uni is that I now no longer fear death"
"The plus side of being at uni is that I now no longer fear death"
