Favorite drunken quotes

[springheeljack]

Aha this calls for some Charles Bukowski!!!!
"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen."

 

[emeraldrafael]

I remember I once went into a bar (I was the designated driver), and was drinking a Dr. Pepper. Then some guy who was immensely drunk walked up to me and started getting in my face that I wasnt drinking drinking and wanted to fight. He got as far as:

I'm gonna kick the shi-BLECH!

And then puked all over the floor and fell into it. Though that was probably my fault. I stood up and moved from side to side, and that probably gave him nausea.