Favorite inprovised weapon

[The_ModeRazor]

Scissors.
Nothing like getting stabbed with something that isn't even pointy.
But I have a couple decent knives down in the kitchen, and since the living room and the kitchen is basically one room in my house, I guess I'd go for those. Nobody fucks with a 10 inch blade.

 

[angry_flashlight]

Let me see what I've got in here...
2 utility knives (dual wield!)
a hockey stick (a truly Canadian response)
several large heavy textbooks (feel the pain of learning!)
pointy pens (for stabbing in annoying areas while I grab one of the above).

I'm pretty set me thinks.

 

[TheTejs]

My motherfucking cock

 

[Carrotslayer]

I'll use the tank/artillery shell that stands behind our living room couch, good for wackin' I believe.
...Yes, we ACTUALLY have that...

 

['Aredor]

Depends: if at least three of my roommates are at home, I choose my voice.

If not, I choose my cell phone in combination with my window.

 

[Obliterato]

Crowbar, Claw hammer or kitchen knife

 

[The Arc of Eden]

I'll beat him with my... Nevermind i'll probably get banned for that.

My Guit-Fiddle. That's a guitar for anybody who looked at that and went "?"

"Random Task, Show them what you do..."
cookies for anybody who gets that.

 

[infohippie]

My wakizashi, because the katana sitting next to it is too long to swing indoors. If it takes too long to reach for it from where I'm sitting, there's always the empty beer bottles.

 

[Moo64c]

My Roomba, flying across the room, bet it'll cause some damage...

 

[Veleste]

In the movie red eye the main chick stabs a guy in the throat with a ball point pen. I thought that was pretty bad ass and lord knows I've got plenty of pointy pens around the house.

 

[Decy19]

well if i had time to punp it i'd fire this really old pellet gun i found in the basement at him, i know what you thinking, "what the heck would a pellet gun do?" well i don't fire normal pellets out of it i fire wooden skewers. or if he just burst threw the door yelled , "***** GIMME UR MONEY!" i'd just grab my trusty katana! made from 100% reinforced aluminum, some fake gold, and a whole mess of duct tape!

 

[Randomologist]

Out of just the stuff in the living room?

The poker, from the fireplace. Even better if the fires already lit

 

[JRShield]

Katana/Airgun/baseballbat/kitchen knife

 

[Queen Michael]

The bazooka that just happens to be lying around.

 

[Zhukov]

Throwing knife, axe handle.

I have some pretty odd stuff sitting around.

 

[Polyg0n]

There`s a golden lighter shaped like a revolver next to me. I could point that to him and die looking cool, but it might me more effective to pick up maybe two of the four 1m long metal pipes sitting right next to me. I would be really glad that didn`t yet use them to build a shelf.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

PS3 controller! I choose YOU!

[sub]I'm pretty dead aren't I?[/sub]

Yes, only corded controllers make effective weapons.
I would like to defend myself with a Bible. Hit him and proclaim,"Feel the wrath of the Lord, *****! The power of Christ compels you ************!"

And then the Lord said "Let there be fucking awesomeness" and clout him with that ************. Lol. Either that or...sorry laptop, but I'd use my laptop. it's pretty compact.

I just need some crucifix ninja stars, a prayer bead garrote, and become an ordained minister; then I'll be Ninja Priest! Killing motherfuckers for God. Sneak into a crack house, kill the dealers, save and cure the addicts, and marry some stoners, because I can. Beware the NINJA PRIEST! Love thy neighbor my ass! Thou shalt not kill, unless it's totally awesome.
Wow, this post is blasphematastic!

 

[Jonluw]

If I have to chose something lying next to me right now I chose a pair of scissors.

If I can get whatever I've got in my house I'll go for my sword or my bow and arrows. Or the kitchen knives.