Favorite Yahtzee Line on Zero Punctuation

[James Rednok]

"Power-Armored FuckNuggets" or perhaps, "Bull-FUCKING-Shit!/What-Arbitrary-Silliness!"

 

[TehKnifeh]

The two that stick out in my head are not quotes, on was the explanation of his beloved QTE dodging when he is "speaking plainly with us a minute" and the other is the Little Big Planet goggley eye boxer dance.... oh and when he made me think my computer crashed "but you know what the worst part-worst part-worst part" error message

 

[TheSentinel]

Everything here. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/ZeroPunctuation]

[small]*sneaks away cackling* YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE![/small]

 

[ThePreshFrince]

Everyone who watches Zero Punctuation has to have a favorite line of Yahtzee's. Let's hear them.

Mine:
"All you really need to know is there is a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning, I wish I could make something like that up, it shoots shurikens and lightning it could only be more awesome if it had tits and was on fire."

-Yahtzee from Painkiller Review-

Yeah, you pretty much got it. Also "Basically, if I had access to a doomsday machine I'd reduce the entire population of the world to me, Tim Schafer and maybe a woman if she promised to wear a Tim Schafer mask."

Also "Yeah..It's pretty good"

"If I had Liam Neeson's phone number I'd tell you what I'd do; I'd nervously call him up and blurt out something about how Darkman was alright before slamming the receiver down and running away. But hypothetically if I wasn't an idiot and talked him into doing voices for my video game I'd have him voice a character named "Captain Dynamite", who has the face of Frank Zappa and nuclear missiles instead of legs. He'd fly around the player in a magic space buggy for the entire course of the game sprinkling rose peddles and friendship."

 

[Hephaesto]

I have to say the latest episodes':

- Baron Von Teapot's "fucking ludicrous" Adventure.

Not only made me laugh but made me want to play a game with that title.

- The whipped cream genocide Brouhaha.

- So here's Too Human; the game Silicon Knights have been making instead of Eternal Darkness 2. Possibly out of a crippling fear of money and success.

- Everyone makes submarines out of metal, lets make one out of bread.

EDIT: see also: Y. T. W. N. G. O.

EDIT 2: see also: ...and the hammer is made of wank.

Man alive the Too Human review was funny.

 

[Awexsome]

My fav has to be from the Darksider's review, "I am a Monster Truck that walks like a man."

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

Oh hey, I forgot this one and I can't believe everyone else has too- from his review of Darksiders:

"And what right does War have to be angsty about his life, he's fucking War, he's never had to queue up at the job centre or pine after ex-girlfriends who left him for a surfer, he just breaks things. If I were War and I'd just hoisted a seven-foot demon into the air and chopped him in half with a single swing I wouldn't stand there scowling, I'd go 'FUCKING HELL, DID ANYONE SEE THAT?! I AM SQUIRTING MACHISMO OUT OF MY NIPPLES OVER HERE! I AM A MONSTER TRUCK THAT WALKS LIKE A MAN!'"

Edit: eh, you only beat me to it because I stopped to type out and format the whole quote.

 

[The Virtuous Seraph]

"Your gun is, of course, your best friend
on which you must always depend.
When you get into fights, you can look down the sights,
and bullets come out of the end."

And the rest of the Wolfenstein review.

 

[Hothcliff]

" I'm not a fanbo- Yes you are!

If you put your dick in a phail of chocolate pudding, even as you continue to tell people it still perfectly good pudding NOBODY IS GOING TO EAT IT BECAUSE YOU PUT YOUR DICK IN IT!!!!!

yes!

"Ive always preferred Luigi to Mario
Hes usually made out as a coward but HEY
Falstaff was a coward
Show me a Shakespearean character whose sole defining feature is blindly following the instructions of some prissy royal ***** and a tendency to jump on things
Ok Macbeth perhaps"

Muddy-Menu-driven-micromanagement-motherfuckery.

Cant belive i havent seen this yet
"Its a fascinating voyage of pain and dispair that leaves you emotionally drained and satisfied like fucking a burning dolphin."

 

[glitch388]

"Hey", says god. "Ive made it so that it feels really really good to stick certain body parts together and jiggle them around and hard-wired your brain to pretty much want to do it 24/7 between the ages of 13 and 70. But if you do it without a special permission slip from the church than im going to light you on fire."
Dante's Inferno review

"I read in the gaming journals that the conduit uses special technology that makes it look as good as games on the xbox and ps3, then i waited a few minutes for the punch line, but apparently they were serious. To put it charitably, this game is f*&%$@# ugly. This isnt even because of the Wii. Ive seen better looking Wii games (LoZ:TP) and even Game Cube games (Metroid Prime). This is the level of a ps2 that someone has trodded on."
The Conduit review

"BULL F@#$%!&$ S$#@! (WHAT ARBRITARY SILLYNESS!)"
Halo Wars Review

"If youre a regular viewer, then you will realize how insane this sounds coming from me, but i cant think of any criticism for it. Seriously. This is the most fun that youll have with your pc until they invent a force feedback codpiece."
Orange Box (Portal) Review

 

[Anticitizen_Two]

"Right now you're probably thinking, 'Yahtzee, you charismatic stallion!'"

or

"Japanese RPG's and I have an agreement: I don't play them, and they can suck as much as they like somewhere far away from me."
I love JRPG's, but I still think that's hilarious.

 

[glitch388]

"Bull, Fucking, SHIT! We didn't lost contact, I was looking at them! They were etc..."

That sequence had me on the floor laughing.

What happens when this stupid arbitrary time limit runs out?! Do their suicide collars explode

Battle royale collars, but yes - that was definetly one of my favourites!

Do they all lose honour and disembowel them selves? What? And do you know who they were? Absolutely bloody no one, the same that i've vat-grown about 50 of that day alone.

 

[Super Toast]

'Honestly, in this game you die quicker than a gerbil in a speedbag full of broken glass.' Can't remember what video it's from though.

 

[I am Jack's profile]

"And you know who I blame for all this? YOU! Yes you! The public! Especially you Adrian! (That probably isn't your name but it was nice to mess with all the Adrians in the world.)"

... does anyone remember the one where he shows up in person and starts doing a bunch of hand gestures before giving the camera the finger

 

[MalevolentStaircase]

In Haze when the metaphorical angel appears reminding of Cod 4

"Benjamin Sebastian Yahtzee Godzilla Croshaw...."

lol

 

[razormint21]

There can only be one line for me...

GO TEAM RETARD!!!!

 

[Johnny Cain]

ZP review of 'The Witcher'

"This is a MUMORPUGER!"

Closely followed by the opening tagline of the Mailbag showdown following 'Super Smash Brothers Brawl':

"Go team retard!"

 

[Drago-Morph]

"Ron-fuckmothering-Perlman!" - Turok review

 

[rt052192]

"For 3, whatever happened to Clive Winston? He was my favorite character. For 4, what the fuck happened to Clive Winston, you pricks!? In his place we have some multi-colored giggly J-Pop creature and you can't play classic rock with that...thing. It's like cock slapping the Mona Lisa."

review of GH:3 Legends of Rock

 

[Slenn]

"... meanwhile Microsoft is the flighty heroine with big tits going 'Nintendo noooo!' while Sony is Ving Rhames going 'forget him he's lost!'" That whole sequence from "House of the Dead: Overkill" was hilarious. XD