Favourite Family Guy Quote!

[Pariah87]

God: Jesus Christ!
Jesus: What?
God: Get the escalade, we're outta here!

(This one I'm not sure about word for word but I know I crack up everytime I see it)

Quagmire: So I hear it's your birthday, how old are you?
Girl: um, 16
Quagmire: 18? Mind if I come inside?
Girl: (Nervously) Mom??
Quagmire: Well this just keeps getting better and better.

 

[Agent Cross]

Peter: Kick Joe kick!
Lois: Peter he's a parplegic!
Peter: Well he ain't deaf!

or

Mexican: I used to work for you.
Mr Pewterschmidt: Oh! I didn't recognize you without my grass under your feet.

So funny... So wrong.

 

[Zantos]

Lots of good quotes, but one ive always loved

Peter Griffin: "Yeah Brian, your doing the same thing that Mia Farrow did to that Chinaman that Woody Allen brought home from the circus!"
Lois Griffin: "Peter, hold on to that thought, because I'm gonna explain to you when we get home all the things that are wrong with that statement"

 

[Nimzabaat]

May have it wrong but...

Peter: Okay Lois, i'll sit through this but remember our agreement. When we get home I get anal. That's right, I don't care how clean I want the house, you have to do it.

Something like that.

 

[Tartarga]

Chris: You want some ice cream dude?
Stewie: Very well, BUT NO SPRINKLES! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.

 

[audiblemirage]

"I thought shaking him would make him stop crying, I was kind of right." Peter and Lois at their baby's funeral.

 

[baddude1337]

"It's okay, it's just mah wang.

 

[CharrHawk164]

"Hey Joe, you look like a half empty toothpaste."

 

[Naheal]

Sure, it's using Bleach video, but Stewie reading the bible was awesome.

 

[Bruce Missile]

Uhm... Pea... uh Tear... uhm... Griffin, yeah that's right, Peter Griffin. Oh crap.

 

[Naheal]

I like Stewie. What can I say?

Edit: Also, Jesus

 

[KindOfnElf]

Brian is sitting drunk on the bar.

Stewie: Oh, here's a pleasant sight - Cirrhosis the Wonder Dog.
Brian: I'm... I'm.. I'm not drunk. I just have a speech impediment. *vomits* And a stomach virus. *falls of chair* and an inner-ear infection.

Stewie is awesome.