Favourite Family Guy Quote!

[zombiestrangler]

*At a deaf school*
Rally Leader:"What are we going to do to Lincoln?"
Rally:Kill them!"
"I can't hear you!"
"Kill them!"
"I can't hear you!"
"Kill them!"
"I can't hear you!"
"Kill them!"
"I can't hear you!"
"Kill them!"
"I can't hear you!"

 

[CrashBang]

Joe: "Don't help me up, I need to retain my independence" Bonnie: "Need anything from the market?" Joe: "POWER BAR!"
The comedy timing is fantastic

 

[BioHazardMan]

Peter: Hey everyone this is my pet lion, I have a lion now (he's riding it)

Brian: Does he bite?

Peter: Of course he bites he's a lion

XD

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

[HEADING=1]Kids...KIDS....AHHHHHH!!!! IT'S SO AWESOME!!!![/HEADING]

 

[Krafty_Krocodile]

(peter stumps his knee on a curb[i think] so he holds his leg and rocks whist saying)SHHHHHHHHHHH.... AHHHHHH.... SHHHHHHHHHH... AHHHH...

 

[Urgh76]

Lois: Peter, did you get the milk?

Peter: No, but you know that real diamond engagement ring you always wanted?

Lois: Oh.. Oh my god Peter!

Peter: That's right! I bought a horse! *retarded horse walks in*

I was on the floor XD

Oh, or

Quagmire: "Oh yeah.... good morning bab- OH MY GOD! YOU'RE NOT THE SAME GIRAFFE FROM LAST NIGHT! GET OUT OF HERE!"

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

"Oh crap. Ponies need... food"

After opening a closet to see a pony skeleton, kept there for years.

 

[Bobic]

I forget the precise wording but

Adam West: Somewhere on my body is a bullet sized piece of bulletproof metal and if you hit it you'll be the laughing stock of me.

Or anything else Adam West says really. God that guy's awesome. And I assume he's the same in real life. Obviously.

 

[AlAaraaf74]

Cool whip.

 

[SimuLord]

You know the look of incredulity someone gets when you say something so thoroughly asinine that all that person can do is stare in disbelief at the sheer stupidity of what you just said?

I get that look when people tell me Family Guy is funny.

 

[Teeth Kicker]

"Ohhhhhhh NOOOOO! Oh No Brian! Oh No, Oh No!!! Ah Brian we need paper towels! Ohhh Ohhh it's going under the fridge! Ohhh! We are gonna have ants!" -Stewie

 

[GodofDisaster]

Stewie is with Brian hitchhiking.
Brian: (singing) Take me to the highway, won't lend me your name
Stewie: Who sings that song?
Brian: James Taylor
Stewie: Yeah lets keep it that way.

Also two quotes from one of my favourite episodes.

It's the one where Quagmire gets fired from his job.

Spoiler

(Quagmire and Chris are sitting on the couch. Chris is messing with a calculator.)
Quagmire: Okay, now add 20.
Chris: Okay.
Quagmire: Now, multiply it by 4.
Chris: Okay.
Quagmire: And what do you got?
Chris: 8008.
Quagmire: And what does "8008" look like on a calculator?
Chris: ...Oh, boob!
Quagmire: Boob! Yeah! All right, all right, all right, boob!
Chris: What if we had two calculators and we put them next to each other?
Quagmire: (gasps) Yes, yes, yes, find one, yes!

Spoiler

Tom Tucker: Some new developments in the Flight 209 drama. Recently-discharged pilot, Captain Glenn Quagmire, is apparently talking the plane down. Ollie Williams has the story. Ollie?
Ollie Williams: I'M AT THE WRONG AIRPORT!
Tom Tucker: Oops. Well, thanks, Ollie.

 

[ahrnygoose]

Little Peter: Wow, that Lois is some kinda woman.
Little Quagmire: Yeah, just thinkin' about her makes my testicles wanna drop. Ooh, speak of the devil. Ooh, make that devils.



Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!

 

[PureChaos]

Diane: Now it Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa. Trisha?
Trisha: Diane, i'm standing outside the Park Barrington Hotel because they do not allow Asians inside.

and, some vids:





yes, Stewie rules!

 

[MikeOfThunder]

Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify this!

 

[Arehexes]

AHHHH sssshhhhhh AHHHHH shhhhhhh AAAHHHHH shhhhhhh AHHHH sssshhhhhh AHHHHH shhhhhhh AAAHHHHH shhhhhhh AHHHH sssshhhhhh AHHHHH shhhhhhh AAAHHHHH shhhhhhh AHHHH sssshhhhhh AHHHHH shhhhhhh AAAHHHHH shhhhhhh

 

[triggahappyhaza]

*Stewie pointing a gun at Brian*
Brian: come on. You don?t know how to use that thing.
Stewie: Oh really? What if I hold it sideways like a black guy?
Brian: woah woah, come on man, take it easy, alright? I-I don?t want any trouble.
Stewie: There?s not gonna be any trouble, as long as you eat my poo!

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Anything from Adam West.

Trisha Takinawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?
Mayor Adam West: Box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup... no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold onto that one.

God I love that man.