Favourite Red vs. Blue Line

[OpiateChicken]

-I forget what exactly the quote is, but it's when Grif is talking about his oreo/asparagus/eggs diet.

-"I don't know where I am. I appear to be in a nexus of teleporters that could lead anywhere in the universe... or maybe I'm in the janitor's closet, I don't fuckin know." - Simmons

-"I have to go to the bathroom. Which is odd, because I went when we were standing in the river together." - Caboose

-Sarge:"Hey Caboose. Give me a boost so I can see through that window."
Caboose:"Okay. You are a good person, and people say nice things about you."
S:"Not a morale boost, moron, a physical one."
C:"I don't think I can hold you. You are heavy."
S:"Okay fine, dammit, get on my shoulders and look through the window."
C:"I cannot do that! My head is round. That window is square."
*Sarge gives Caboose a boost anyway*
S:"Now, tell me what you see."
C:"I see some walls... and some ceilings. No... wait! Just ONE ceiling."


The last 3 quote things were all from episode 39, which is the best imho.

 

[ArianaUO321]

Sarge "I'm sure there's a philosophical lesson to be learned from all this"
Simmons "Something about the dangers of technology and the unwavering pride of mankind?"
Sarge "No... Something about hiring better help that doesn't just stand around, WATCHING YOU DIE!!!"

 

[inflamessoilwork]

"Yargh! I be havin' a Southern accent!" (in pirate voice)


"THAT IS NOT A SOUTHERN ACCENT!"

 

[skitzo van]

I can't remember the exact dialogue, but It was something about ghost bullets.

You mean from Tucker "What are you gonna do? shoot him with ghost bullets?"
Church "Yea I see your point"
Tucker "Hey I'm Casper the friendly bullet"

Yes! That's it! Thank you so much.

 

[Chamale]

It's a sausage cooked in a bagpipe!

There is no equivalent for "shizno" in your language.

Don't call him a bomb. He prefers "Explosive-American".

Then he pulled out Caboose's skull, and started beating him to death with it.

 

[elitechief2004]

"It goes: you, then me, then Simmons, then back down to me, then you, then me, then me, then Simmons, then me, then me, then Simmons, me...me, Simmons, you, Simmons, me, me, me, Simmons, you...me, then me again. It makes perfect sense." - Sarge

 

[Big Max]

'I do not want to catch pregnancy!'
- Michael J Caboose

Then he pulled out Caboose's skull, and started beating him to death with it.

'This doesn't seem physically possible!'
- Private Jimmy

 

[Xeros]

Caboose: "Look! A sleeping person!"
Sarge: "He ain't sleepin' son. He's dead."
Caboose: "Oh good. For a moment there I thought he was me, because I am blue, and I like to sleep, but if he is dead then that cannot be me. That would be silly."

 

[Elburzito]

"Im scared and I don't know why." Caboose.

 

[Gentleman_Reptile]

Tex and Church are trying to figure out a way to reboot Sheila after shutting her down.

CHURCH: "Yeah, If only there was some kind of other big vehicle we could move her AI into.......wait....Tex....the ship? Could we move her into one of those onboard computers?"

TEX: "If weee....set up a hardline, yeah I bet we could do it."

(From across the other side of the base)

TUCKER: "CHURCH WAIT!!!!!"

CHURCH: "Tucker?"

(Tucker comes running)

TUCKER: "CHURCH HANG ON A SEC' I GOT SOMETHIN' TO TELL YOUUUU!!!!!!!"

CHURCH: "Tucker what?! What is it?!

TUCKER: *pant*pant* I just wanted to say.......*pant*pant* I got a hardline Tex could use! Bow Chicka Bow-wow!!!

 

[Firehopper]

I can't remember the exact dialogue, but It was something about ghost bullets.

You mean from Tucker "What are you gonna do? shoot him with ghost bullets?"
Church "Yea I see your point"
Tucker "Hey I'm Casper the friendly bullet"

Yes! That's it! Thank you so much.

No probs.

 

[Hucket]

I'm paraphrasing

"Goodbye Sargent Popin' Fresh. I will miss your buttery goodness." -Caboose


Sarge: "Simmons what's the name of that MExican goat killin monster?"

Simmions: "El Chupacabra?"

Sarge: "Yeah, Hey Grif what about Chupathingy?!"


"That is obviously a plus sign, not an X" -Caboose

I love Caboose

 

[MysticnFm]

Is it just me, or has Red Vs Blue gotten FUCKING AWESOME with these new episodes.

"Hey Washington, You just got Sa-BOOOM- AH dammit I messed up my one liner."

 

[ZeoAssassin]

Church: WYOMING?!
Tucker: WYOMING?!?
Tex: WYOMING?
Caboose: CONNECTICUT!

laughed my ass off

 

[Rune342]

There are so many good ones, here are a couple I can think of:

"There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life." -Church

"Hey, I like thinking inside the box. I feel safe in there." -Tucker

"Your toast has been burned and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff!" -Caboose

"What do we need Sarge for? All he ever did was yell at us a bunch and tell us we suck. We'll just split up his duties. You yell at me and I'll tell you you suck. You suck, Simmons! Oh man, this new system is working out great!" -Grif

 

[Mr. Gency]

"Then Tex ripped a guy's skull out and beat him with it"

"Wait, that isn't physically possible."

"I know. That's what the guy said."

"This isn't physically possible! This isn't physically possible! This isn't physically possible!"

 

[L-J-F]

"... Or maybe it's a key ALL the time... Buuuut when you stick it into people... It unlocks their death..."

This XD Love RVB

 

[Shockolate]

"THERE IS NO 11 YOU FUCKING WHORE"

"I will STAB YOU COMPUTER PHONE LADY!"

Also, "He's. Not. PREGNANT!"

Church is so awesome when he's pissed.

"Watch the alien. No, better yet, shoot that fucking thing, will ya?"

 

[ffxfriek]

Gary (the AI): This is to be expected, since you are a Shisno.
Church: What does that mean, anyway?
Gary: There are no words in your language that can appropriately convey the meaning.
Church: Well, can you explain it?
Gary: What is the most foul-smelling being on your planet?
Church: ...a skunk.
Gary: Does this skunk defecate?
Church: ...yes.
Gary: Does this defecation in turn produce its own excrement?
Church: Uh, no.
Gary: Then there is no appropriate parallel in your world for Shisno.