Female escapists: Is shyness ever really attractive?
- Thread starter RocksW
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lolwut?fullbleed said:
OT: I'm not a girl, oh screw it I don't know anything about this subject, I don't know why I even clicked on it.
Shyness does not entail relationship potential, only friendship potential. Yeah, I had to learn that through experience.
You have to strike a balance between confidence and not being a jerk. Be strong-willed and protective, but tender and romantic at the same time. Trust me, it's the best balance.
You have to strike a balance between confidence and not being a jerk. Be strong-willed and protective, but tender and romantic at the same time. Trust me, it's the best balance.
Shyness is a good way to get us to like you. An initial nervous or shy reaction can be a bit complimentary depending on the type of girl. By showing you are bashful around us it makes us feel noticed and beautiful, as well as assured that there is someone interested in us.
But for how cute a shy reaction can be at first, it grows old quickly and easily. Soon assertiveness and confidence has to take over (especially the latter) and we have to see that you are determined in your endeavors. if enough time passes and we don't feel you're assertive or confident enough then it's more or less an insult to us, and can make us feel like you're wasting our time. This is why you see "smoking hot" women with ugly men all the time. Because they showed assertiveness and confidence they were able to get past the hurdle of beauty and win the gold while the good looking or average looking guy is still contemplating whether to take the chance. Not making the jump to assertiveness and confidence can lead to either being denied or pigeonholed into that bottomless pit known as "the friend zone".
If you fail the first time, DO NOT TRY IT AGAIN WITH THE SAME GIRL! A lot of boys at my old high school would make this mistake and more often than not it'd land them a damaging MySpace or Facebook message or a verbal ***** slap. If your prey escapes you, they'll have learned your tricks, and as such, they won't work on them again.
Please say hello to Professors Arendt, Admire, De Veer, Erana, Aylaine, Kemea... (among many others)
And I'd also like to introduce Doctors Boxxy, Slaughter, Holichko, Cracky, Singer, Girlvinyl, DeCadence, Poly, and several others we don't have time for.
But for how cute a shy reaction can be at first, it grows old quickly and easily. Soon assertiveness and confidence has to take over (especially the latter) and we have to see that you are determined in your endeavors. if enough time passes and we don't feel you're assertive or confident enough then it's more or less an insult to us, and can make us feel like you're wasting our time. This is why you see "smoking hot" women with ugly men all the time. Because they showed assertiveness and confidence they were able to get past the hurdle of beauty and win the gold while the good looking or average looking guy is still contemplating whether to take the chance. Not making the jump to assertiveness and confidence can lead to either being denied or pigeonholed into that bottomless pit known as "the friend zone".
If you fail the first time, DO NOT TRY IT AGAIN WITH THE SAME GIRL! A lot of boys at my old high school would make this mistake and more often than not it'd land them a damaging MySpace or Facebook message or a verbal ***** slap. If your prey escapes you, they'll have learned your tricks, and as such, they won't work on them again.
Then let me introduce myself and my fellow scientist on the job to disprove such a theory.Frotality said:
Please say hello to Professors Arendt, Admire, De Veer, Erana, Aylaine, Kemea... (among many others)
And I'd also like to introduce Doctors Boxxy, Slaughter, Holichko, Cracky, Singer, Girlvinyl, DeCadence, Poly, and several others we don't have time for.
Despite not being the targeted person for this question, I feel like I should answer anyway.
I'm a helplessly shy person with incredibly low self esteem but I've been told before that it's quite cute in a way and on the flip side of that, I find the shyness of people cute as well. The over zealous, pretentious and overly confident fuckheads are the types I typically don't like, but there's a big difference between being confident and being a pompous asshole.
The same goes with being shy. Some people see it as cute, while others view it as a weakness or just outright annoying.
But as for your question, yes, you should just be yourself with her. If she likes you, she'll like you for who you are including your shyness. If that's a big turn off for her, forget her and move on.
I'm a helplessly shy person with incredibly low self esteem but I've been told before that it's quite cute in a way and on the flip side of that, I find the shyness of people cute as well. The over zealous, pretentious and overly confident fuckheads are the types I typically don't like, but there's a big difference between being confident and being a pompous asshole.
The same goes with being shy. Some people see it as cute, while others view it as a weakness or just outright annoying.
But as for your question, yes, you should just be yourself with her. If she likes you, she'll like you for who you are including your shyness. If that's a big turn off for her, forget her and move on.
Some girls do indeed like shyness, however shyness also presents a barrier which you will need to overcome if you want to actually meet and socialise with anyone. So if you can break out of your shell occasionally, that's a good skill to get going. I wouldn't be putting on a fake act to try and impress her, but I wouldn't be cultivating any shy qualities either. Relax, be yourself, and bite the bullet... the worst that can happen is she says no, and then you haven't really lost anything, in fact you've gained something, you've gained the knowledge that you needn't bother with her and then can go looking elsewhere...RocksW said:
Shyness is usually bad because it means you're the wallflower watching everyone else go and get what they want.
I'm not sure "cute" is the right word for shyness. If a woman is anywhere near attractive she will have aggressive guys approaching her all the time. Shyness would therefore be a novelty and perhaps a welcome break.
As I am the aforementioned wallflower, I don't have a lot of practical experience to draw advice from. If you like her enough, you'll get over your shyness and talk to her. If you don't, it will just be status quo.
I'm not sure "cute" is the right word for shyness. If a woman is anywhere near attractive she will have aggressive guys approaching her all the time. Shyness would therefore be a novelty and perhaps a welcome break.
As I am the aforementioned wallflower, I don't have a lot of practical experience to draw advice from. If you like her enough, you'll get over your shyness and talk to her. If you don't, it will just be status quo.
Here's what you need to do...to prove your love to her, you need to blow up your office building with soap.
Depends on the girl. To bolster your confidence, allow me to let you in on a secret:
Ask a girl out; only the right ones say "yes".
Also, you were born a winner. You were the fastest sperm.
I hope this helped. ^_^
Ask a girl out; only the right ones say "yes".
Also, you were born a winner. You were the fastest sperm.
I hope this helped. ^_^
As others have stated before, it really depends on her individual preference. Don't try to 'impress' her by doing things that are way out of your comfort zone. She'll eventually find out that you've put her on and it won't help your case at all.
Also, a note: Some women find shyness 'cute' but be warned: Cute does not mean I want to date you. Sometimes it's the exact opposite.
Personally, I find shyness a neutral quality in a man. It's not what makes or breaks my attraction for them, because it's not their entire personality. It only really factors into the equation when the guy can't even look me in the eyes or if I can't properly talk to him because he's too timid. THAT is a major turn-off.
Also, a note: Some women find shyness 'cute' but be warned: Cute does not mean I want to date you. Sometimes it's the exact opposite.
Personally, I find shyness a neutral quality in a man. It's not what makes or breaks my attraction for them, because it's not their entire personality. It only really factors into the equation when the guy can't even look me in the eyes or if I can't properly talk to him because he's too timid. THAT is a major turn-off.
There's shyness and then there's just flat out not being social.
Shyness is cute, and it triggers the "He's hard to get, this is going to be a chase! Fun!" gene that some people have.
Then there are the people who are just flat anti-human that claim to be shy. That is just crap, and thus not cute. It also tends to lead down a road of massive hurt.
Anyway, to answer the other part of your question, be yourself. Don't lead her on...You want her to like you for who you are. And we don't like being led on anyway.
Shyness is cute, and it triggers the "He's hard to get, this is going to be a chase! Fun!" gene that some people have.
Then there are the people who are just flat anti-human that claim to be shy. That is just crap, and thus not cute. It also tends to lead down a road of massive hurt.
Anyway, to answer the other part of your question, be yourself. Don't lead her on...You want her to like you for who you are. And we don't like being led on anyway.
