Female escapists: Is shyness ever really attractive?

[Turing]

I'll join the "i'm not female but I feel I have a valid opinion nonetheless"-crowd:

In general, shyness won't help you win the girl.
In my experience, the "default" preference is that women appreciate at the very least, a bit of confidence.
Also, if you're not going to act on your attraction, odds are she won't ever even know, despite how obvious you think it should be.

I was shy as a teen, got my first kiss at 16 so as you can tell shyness certainly didn't win me any prizes. Of course after that I realised that confidence and being outgoing works a whole lot better and things picked up quickly.

One of the dangers of women who like shy guys and "try to get them out of their shell" is that you've been chosen as a "project" more than just a regular old boyfriend.
Girls like this will quite possibly try to change who you are and maybe even be quite possesive.

 

[Smooth Operator]

I know its a wierdly personal question :L

Why im asking is theres a girl I like from work, and she'll be at this staff party thing next friday... Shes very attractive but doesnt really know me yet... You can probably see where im going with this!

Trouble is im shy and afraid of screwing it up... how do you think I should behave around her? Be myself? Or not? what do you think?

Shyness is a flaw, a flaw that adds to your character no doubt, but a flaw none the less.

Simple truth is girls look for confidence, you may not be the most confident guy in the world, but if you want to make a good impression you haveto muster all your courage and go for it.
Be yourself + confidence, that is how it works, standing in the corner quietly is not how you get girls, trust me, I was that guy and I got to watch everyone except me getting together.

 

[havass]

I like how most of the people replying aren't your target audience. Counting the responses would be fun.
Why yes, I don't possess two X chromosomes, how did you know? Anyway, it really depends on the girl you're after. To answer your question, yes, be yourself around her. If she doesn't make a move, go up and say hi. If she responds in kind, things will be much smoother. If not, move on with your life. Or try harder. Whatever rocks you.

 

[Seneschal]

A girl once told me that she thought my stutter was cute. This was, however long after my chance with her was gone and she was now with a good friend of mine. I couldn't make out with her so I made out with her boyfriend instead. Fun night.

I think shyness can work, but don't be solely reliant on it.

WIN, oh I love people that can tell their own anegdotes in joke-format.

OT: Shyness probably isn't steaming hot, but it can be charming. Gets those maternal instincts all riled up.

 

[Aulleas123]

Not a girl, but I tried the 'shy' thing, it didn't work for me. Women, deep down, like a guy who has guts. Women want a guy who is willing to say stuff like "No, I don't feel like going shopping today since we went shopping for the last three days."

It's a question of biology. A guy who is willing to put himself out there as a confident individual (i.e. not shy) knows he's going to be beaten down by the world, a lot. Women know this too, so if a guy keeps standing back up after being beaten down, it makes him more resilient, more likely to survive. If a guy is more likely to survive, they'll be more likely to mate (or in our case, get the girl) not just because he lasts longer, but because women like resilience that comes from confidence.

No matter what women tell you to your face, they deep down will like the guy who has the guts to ask the girl out. It's easier said than done, but if you can crawl out of your shell and do something outrageously silly to show yourself off, then you have a better chance than standing in the corner, hoping someone will speak to you.

 

[blankedboy]

Being a bisexual guy, I can say that no it isn't. To me, anyways. Others have said that they do find it attractive, so by the looks of it it just depends on her personal preference.

 

[likalaruku]

I find shyness is men to be very attractive, but that's because I'm a dominating women. I also like guys who still live with their moms. There's something cute about a man who's openly & unashamedly dependent & not struggling to escape his past & become someone new. It means I don't have to worry about macho BS or long arguments. It means that he'll allways be himself without trying to impress other people by trying to be as manly & independant as possible. It usually also means he's a really relaxed & nostolgic guy with a squacky clean teenhood, just a boring geeky virgin. Works for me.

 

[Keela]

I've gotten from a few girls that my shyness was cute, mostly from older ones... ;D Don't take a teenager's word, though. It's been proven that we're wrong 85% of the time.
Just try to make sure you seem interested, but also make sure you don't over-do it. Hard to explain my behavioral habits/"moves" over the internet. My method has worked for me, as I am friends with a few VERY SELECT popular girls (and guys) while also mostly chilling mostly with the geeks and "middle-classmen" as far as social status goes... I say mine is a decently effective method. Maybe give it a shot.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Also, you were born a winner. You were the fastest sperm.

You are awesome good sir!

 

[Keela]

Shush, Fargeh! Your avatar is a giiiiiiiirl. =]

OT: I dunno, do I? I'm shy, and I can talk to girls plenty.

AND YOUR AVATAR IS A WOODLAND CREATURE.

Yeah, doesn't feel so nice now does it? Attacking people's avatars like that.. *runs off crying*

And his avatar happens to be a symbol for one of the greatest shows, LIEK, 3VAR!!1!!1!, and your avatar hasn't come out with a decent game since Sonic Adventure 2!

Sorry to go so off topic, but my two cents is already in the jar, so I now have the right to deviate.

 

[Paksenarrion]

Depends on the girl. To bolster your confidence, allow me to let you in on a secret:

Ask a girl out; only the right ones say "yes".

Also, you were born a winner. You were the fastest sperm.

I hope this helped. ^_^

but what if all the sperm were retarded and you were only slightly less retarded? does that entail winning too?

That's okay. They only want to drag you down, because they don't want to be alone.

You are the sole surviving veteran of a hundred psychic wars.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

Different strokes for different folks, pretty much.
It shouldn't be on the top of anybody's list or a gamebreaker, but if it's a factor in attraction, that's fine.