BloatedGuppy said:
Well, here's the thing. I don't want to fuss with that statistic, but my girlfriend is 5'8 and weighs about 130 lbs. I'm 6'3 and weigh 190. The likelihood of her being able to physically force me into intercourse lies somewhere in the magical land between slim and none, whereas in the inverse I represent a serious physical threat to her. What's the average height/weight for women? And for men? Muscle mass? Can you appreciate why the threat of imminent sexual violence would be a more pressing concern for women then for men, without necessarily translating appreciation of that fact into disrespect for those men who have been raped by women?
Raw physical size has little or no impact on cases where the attacker is armed, or where the victim is restrained, drugged, or unconscious. Certainly Bobbit and Catherine Kieu were capable of a different form of sexual violence against their much larger, much stronger husbands. You could also try reading GMP some time, more than a few guys tell their stories there.
BloatedGuppy said:
Have you EVER feared rape? I know I haven't.
Now for a personal story that I don't particularly like telling:
One night I was running around with a female relative and two of her friends, one male, one female. It was about 2 AM, and I had been up for about 22 hours at that point. I had just met both of these friends of hers that night, and exchanged less than a dozen words with either of them in my life. My relative was drunk, and we stopped in a parking lot, so she could go throw up at a nearby restaurant. Her male friend went with her, her female friend stayed behind. I tilted the seat back and decide to try to squeeze in a catnap since I hadn't slept in 22 hours. I woke up, and was apparently receiving a blowjob, from the previously mentioned woman whom I knew basically nothing about and had exchanged less than a dozen words with. I did not want this, and it wasn't exactly safe to tell her to stop, having no idea how she'd react given that it would be trivial to, you know, bite down and I've seen people react worse for less. I had no idea what she might try next (or rather I had some ideas, but none of them were exactly *good* ideas), and given I hadn't taken my seat belt off before I leaned back and she wasn't exactly a small woman, I couldn't really go anywhere either. I was fortunate enough that my relative and her male friend came back before it went any farther. She glimpsed them coming, got off me, sat up, straightened up her hair, and pretended it didn't happen.
TL;DR, I have been in the position where I was receiving oral sex against my will, initiated while I was unconscious and physically restrained. I got lucky enough that someone returned, interrupting her before it went any farther than that.
BloatedGuppy said:
I've never once thought "Boy, I could get raped here". Not once. Now that's anecdotal, but there is a reason this dialogue around rape, fear of rape, and how to prevent rape focuses almost entirely on women. You can assume that reason is because women are more likely to be the victim of sexual violence than me. Or you can assume the reason is because a vast sea of female on male rapes are going unreported because of male stoicism and deep seated gender bias. Which of those scenarios seems more likely?
Studies suggest that men under-report being victims of sexual violence more often than women do, even more so when the perpetrator is female, due to social stigma. As for why the dialog surrounding sexual violence (and domestic violence as well, which several studies have suggested is mostly reciprocal and what isn't is somewhat more often perpetrated by women, but not by a huge margin) is invariably centered around female victims and occasionally around male victims of male perpetrators is something that can be placed squarely on the shoulders of feminism, as feminism has the dominant voice in that discourse, and anyone who doesn't disagree with the assumed feminist positions is effectively driven out of the discussion. Erin Prizzey(sp?) is actually a good example of this, given that she created the first woman's shelter, and was basically driven out of her own movement because, in essence, she believed that domestic violence wasn't a one way street and wanted to help male victims as well.