First thing you'd say after rising from a coma.

[icypain]

Brainss....

 

[Lexodus]

"........so I said, rectum? Damn near killed him."

DUDE, I just shot milk from my nose XD

 

[savageoblivi0n]

dude...we need to get some more of that stuff...

 

[phantasmalWordsmith]

"Ah...bout damn time. Is Duke Nukem out?"

 

[Knife-28]

"God Damn Lag, it took me forever to respawn!"

or....

*In deep demonic voice* "I AWAKEN!"

 

[gl1koz3]

"What happened?"

 

[Royta]

"Is Nintendo caring about the Hardcore gamers again?"

If the anwser is no, then I'll ask them to put me to sleep for another 40 years.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

"DARY!"

Of course, I would have said "It's gonna be Legend- wait for it." right before falling into the coma.

Best. Coma line. Ever!

Possibly something incredibly boring like 'when am I?'
Or I might leave asking questions until I've checked to make sure I haven't woken up mid-apocalypse a la Resident Evil, 28 Days Later, or the Walking Dead.

Alternatively, 'If anyone tells me how Mass Effect 3 ends, I will end them!'

 

[loc978]

...n'some bread, too!

 

[JoshGod]

Why am i still tired?

 

[FoolKiller]

"I guess those all-nighters from school finally caught up with me, huh?"

 

[Father Tunde]

"So... I take it the Malayans weren't right?"

"So... Was Al Gore anywhere near right"

"Where's my Robot Nurse?"

 

[DarkRyter]

"I'm back, bitches."

 

[Zarmi]

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, but I'm all outta bubblegum

 

[Calcabrina]

"I want food" Or something like that.
Or maybe just go back to sleep.

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

Fucking Lag

 

[DRSH1989]

There's a bomb in the building! RUUUUN!

 

[urahara75]

"So... does my health insurance cover this type of thing?" and, "Who sold their stuff &/or body parts as collateral in my staid?". ;P

OTOH, I could always stick w/ the jokey, "Hey!! Did anybody look after my Chia-Pets??"...