First thing you'd say after rising from a coma.

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garfoldsomeoneelse

Charming, But Stupid
Mar 22, 2009
2,908
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Somebody wheel me to the nearest bathroom and get me a laptop, my pipes are in serious need of a clearing.

EDIT: Better yet: "I have seen heaven! Quick, get me a book deal!"
 

Nouw

New member
Mar 18, 2009
15,615
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"So what's happening?"

The logical question to ask, then proceed to live my life as I missed out a considerable amount of time.
 

Okysho

New member
Sep 12, 2010
548
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You say the exact same thing you say when you wake up in a place you don't know and you can't remember what happened last night.

remember these 4 easy questions:

Who are you?
Where am I?
What the fuck happened to my clothes?
and
Why does my ass hurt!?
 

stikku

New member
Dec 16, 2009
62
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"What a dream, i dreamt i heard you guys talking how to divide my money
wait wtf? GET OUT"
 

chif-ii

New member
Aug 31, 2010
206
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"What time is it...$#!T! I overslept!"

Assuming of course that I had enough strength, both physically and mentally, to deliver this witty retort. More likely is that it'll be more like coming to after a horrible hangover than just a click of the fingers and I'm at 100% again.