Fniff proves that you will not, under no circumstances, survive the zombie Apocalypse alive.

[y1fella]

are we talking traditional undead shufflers or like 28 days late because if they're shufflers than all you got to do is wait bout 3 days and all the infected will go into rigormortis. (its what happens to dead body's you know how they go all stiff) also if your in a town away from civilization then there is not as much to worry about. also the millitary can handle zombies. unless it was an airborn strain and for some reason the army decided not to wear gas masks in case of infection then there would be cause for panic. now i say military can handle zombies because world war 2 Germany proved that untactical charge vs gun line equal gun line victory and now with improved guns and attackers who are unarmed i would put my money on the gun line. also tanks. zombies could not destroy a tank. they could not open a bolted down tank hatch. so generally i say get to the country get somwhere remote keep a radio and you should be fine. particularily if your in Australia Mate

 

[AgDr_ODST]

IMHO I think (if zombies starting showing up) that we'll all be fine so long as the spread of the virus is slow and potential infected(and actual infected killed) and the goverment doesn't try something dumb like weaponize the virus or whatevers making people into zombies we'll all be fine. and barring that I'll just try to survive and If I die big fucking whoop it proves OP's point and if I don't in your face I beat the odds, I'll just go kill myself(should it turn out im the only one left)
EDIT:

Everyone knows you can only survive if you're:

Black,
Obese,
A news reporter,
A redneck,
A vietnam veteran,
A gambler,
A college student,
A biker,

or any combination thereof.

thats me Im a college student, I'll be fine

Actually, all those people are known to die a lot too.

So you're still fucked.

so what I've already said if I die big whoop it just proves TP's point

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Mmm. I live up high. My first step is barricade my stairwell (no elevator) with my roommate's bed (fuck him, going on vacation and leaving the place all fucken dirty), desk, and dresser. Then, I stay in my apartment, next to my well-stocked pantry. Any Zombies that come up the stairs get met with a locked door beyond a barricade, and it's a thick door. In the event that other people on my floor are infected (there's only a few of the bastards), I whomp 'em in the head, toss 'em off the balcony (whether they're done or not), and check everyone else for bites/scratches/etc. If any sign, whomp. If not, we share food, enforce the barricade. If so...whomp. If any zombies want to crowd us at the bottom of the stairs, well, that's their business. They'll run out of steam eventually--it's just remainder impulses.

 

[Zero47]

The zombie apocalypse is just a fantasy thing, your so called "proof" is flawed because it's based on your interpetation of the "zombie virus".

 

[D0WNT0WN]

Humans Survive it is what we do best, we have been around for a very long time. Long enough to discover the wonders of the World and the Universe through all kinds of hell.

A zombie apocolypse would cripple humanity but we would survive.

It's what we do.

(It is fictional anyway I just got a little into it.)

 

[Not So Tuesday]

Guess who's not getting into my castle during the zombie apocalypse.

 

[wordsmith]

You can't get to an island, since your entire country would be quartined and you would not be able to get out.

my country:

9 miles by 5, to give you a scale.

Also, what is up with the "Well, there is a gun shop up the road, I'll just steal a few guns! DUUR!". PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT AN ORIGINAL IDEA! Everyone in your district would have thought of this, taken the guns, then put a note saying "Sorry for stealing your guns, I'll buy you a beer.". So, that leaves you having to go to some gun owners house, to get some guns, only to be bitten, raped and pissed on by a zombie.

What about the millions of people who own guns? I'm included in this, so my journey to the gun owners house is to walk down a flight of stairs to the gun cabinet.

also,

is 3 minutes hard run down the road. It has 1 entrance, the drawbridge.

 

[health-bar]

it doesn't matter, Valve taught me how to survive.

 

[CSB Fisher]

I wouldn't be botherd about my death as long as the human race as a whole survived.

 

[Dark Knifer]

Don't feed the trolls...

Flame shield at ready...

 

[Vromnir]

Every now and again, some guy makes a thread. It is an annoying repeat thread. And it is calledwhat is your survival apocalypse plan? Note: This is a rant. Not to be taken seriously.

Now, don't get me wrong, I used to be one of these people, back when I was new to the interweb. I was always searching for a proper zombie apocalypse sim. I grew out of it, though, and forgot about it. Only now I realize what would be the proper zombie apocalypse sim. Somehow, hack into the L4D files, get rid of the weapons, give the ability to starve or dehydration, make it so that your character prays that he dies without being ripped apart or crawling on their hands and knees to get to a bit of candy underneath the fridge to find it was just a wrapper and then die. People, you cannot, I repeat, CANNOT survive the Zombie Apocalypse without leaving the country, let alone the planet. The Zombie Virus,whatever it would be, would be freaking impossible not to get, or be immunized to, since it never happened before, because everyone you know is now a zombie, or at least, going to be sooner or later . You can't get to an island, since your entire country would be quartined and you would not be able to get out. Also, what is up with the "Well, there is a gun shop up the road, I'll just steal a few guns! DUUR!". PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT AN ORIGINAL IDEA! Everyone in your district would have thought of this, taken the guns, then put a note saying "Sorry for stealing your guns, I'll buy you a beer.". So, that leaves you having to go to some gun owners house, to get some guns, only to be bitten, raped and pissed on by a zombie. So, do yourself a favor, to spare yourself in the long run, KILL YOURSELF IF YOU ARE IN A ZOMBIE SITUATION THAT IS BIG! Spare the zombies the trouble. Anyway, if you did bunker up, with your friends...It's only a matter of time until someone snaps in your party and does something bad. Then, your best friend "Alice" would go insane from the constant banging of zombies, trying to break in...Sooner or later, maybe they will...Only to find your body, with a shotgun with one bullet missing... You would have probably killed yourself in the despair of a hopeless situation, where humanity will probably flicker out like a light..

So, you will not survive, stop making plans. And repeat threads.

People could be immune. When the Black Plague hit Europe, there were people who were immune to it.

 

[quiet_samurai]

I sort of agree with you. I think alot of people will survive anyhow, and by a lot I mean most likely around 30% of the worlds population. you don't only ahve to worry about zombies, but other survivors as well. I'm sure murder, theft, and rape would skyrocket in this situation. I also think it would be more like Sean of the Dead, as in people will see something strange going on and not really realize what it is until it was too late and got out of hand. I don't think it would be an over night thing like Romaros movies.

 

[BlackWidower]

I'm reminded of a quote by the great Penn Jillette: "You know, when you hear about people predicting the end of the world they're always predicting 60 to 90 per cent of the world's population is going to get killed. It's odd how they're always planning on what they're gonna do when everyone else is dead. Teller and I have always played the odds, so, we're betting we're gonna die."

But there's also a major flaw in your logic, and that is there will not be a zombie Apocalypse.

 

[BlackWidower]

it doesn't matter, Valve taught me how to survive.

Okay, that is awesome! Where'd you get that!?

 

[littlecrow]

true true, thats why I giggle at the people that think that there will be one.

 

[Karlaxx]

Against shambling-type zombies, just get in a car. Instant weapon!

After that... Try to find a ferry, probably. If that's not an option, maybe a boat...

Provided the world is slow to react, a total country-wide quarantine is unlikely. Other than that, there are nearby army and navy bases I could go to. They have guns and boats and stuff.

Against zoom-bies, yeah, we're pretty much fucked unless we get guns. Luckily, I live in a relatively low population density area. This means the survivor to zombie ratio will probably be high enough to warrant a rescue rather than a nuking.

Nuking just wouldn't work unless it was only one city infected, due to fallout- you would quite possibly kill many more. And if there's more than a couple cities, it's hopeless on the nuke front- because if too many nukes go off, all life on earth dies anyway.

 

[zamble]

Fniff, you forget about one very important thing that Bill Murray taught me.

DRESS UP LIKE A ZOMBIE!

I mean, do we really know what Zombies use to figure out if you are human or not? Maybe they simply rely on vision.

No use. It's olfatory based.

Hmmm, you smell like fresh brains!!

 

[mrpenguinismyhomeboy]

seems rather nihilistic. I disagree. Stay positive.