Fortunately/Unfortunately

[slevin8989]

Unfortunately the convicts don't care and rape you

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, after the first time, they get the hint and leave your death-trap ass alone.

 

[slevin8989]

Unfortunately they think you have pretty lips

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, you have learned several types of martial arts and have made a chainsaw out of stuff in your cell while the other inmates decided what to do with you.

 

[slevin8989]

Unfortunately you forgot you need gas

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, you can still beat them with your bare hands.

 

[goatzilla8463]

unfortunately, you are surrounded.

 

[Letsrock456]

Fortunately, You can do an awesome ninja spinning kick.

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, you also hit your nuts on the bunk bed when you land.

 

[goatzilla8463]

fortunately, you have balls of steel.

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, you don't have a pelvis of steel, and your nads of steel crack it in half.

 

[goatzilla8463]

Fortunately, you have wolverine's healing powers

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, you don't have his claws.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Fortunately, you have a substitue:

WOODEN CLAWS!

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, they are only 1/1,000,000,000,000th as effective.

 

[goatzilla8463]

fortuantely, they still attract girls

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, the girls they attract are the ones you don't like...at all.

 

[Crowghast]

Fortunately, those are just the friends of the ones who are hot. And you score, easily.

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, you also get them knocked up easily.

 

[Crowghast]

Fortunately, you're perfectly ready to have kids, and besides, you'll get around eight wives.
(Ten more and i'll have a golf-course!)