Frustrated and I do not know what to do.

[GameNeo]

Greetings fellow scapers!

As the title says, I am more frustrated than usual and I have no idea what to do or what I am doing wrong.
Let me explain my problem. I go to college, have a good part-time job, my own vehicle ( though its a MAJOR POS) and a very nice family. How is this not perfect you say? Well, for some reason, destiny has written it stone that I will never, EVER have any real-life friends.

And I have no clue what the Sam-fucking-hell I am doing wrong. I have a variety of interests, I go out, im social, not afraid to talk to anyone(man or women), I am not self-concious, I dont give two shits what people think or how they judge me, and I always respect someone until they give me a reason to disrespect them.

Yet, every single time I start to have a "friend", I hang out once then they drop off the face of the earth. Never returns text or phone calls, always have excuses when I see them randomly, and just flat out declines when I invite them over or for a movie or an event. Hell, next Saturday im going to Houston for a MVC3 and SSF4 Tournament and no one wants to come with me.

This has been a long time occurrence, About 5-6 years now, and it has never really bothered me until recently.
Let me make this clear. I am not emo about this, just a little sad and bummed out that I can not seem to make a friend no matter what I do. Shit sucks but I have come to realize I will probably never have one so I am just going to move on in my life.

 

[Mittens The Kitten]

Maybe you're a dick.

 

[noble cookie]

Hell, next Saturday im going to Houston for a MVC3 and SSF4 Tournament and no one wants to come with me.

Hey perhaps thats the reason, I mean think about it, not a lot of people enjoy games and look down upon us gamers.

You just gotta find some friends who enjoy the same things as you, i guess.

Hey im worse at making friends than you, so what would I know?
Just giving my opinion.

 

[Zyst]

That's weird, never heard of someone having trouble making friends before. Maybe you are just boring as a human being or something.

 

[Gennadios]

We're getting your end of the story, not anybody else's.

Chances are, there's something you do regularly, and something you're not aware of, that bugs the hell out of people. You'll need to find out what it is. Start with your family, particularly whichever family member you get along most with and/or talk to the most often, they should know your character the best.

 

[xMelior]

I don't know you, but considering you are inviting people who aren't even your friends to a gaming tournament in Houston, isn't there a chance you are a little too head-on? Also, it seems you are a gamer, so try befriending other people who enjoy games as much as you do.

Also try hanging out with co-workers and classmates. Even uf they don't like you at first, they will eventually get used to you and some of them may become your friends

EDIT:

We're getting your end of the story, not anybody else's.

Chances are, there's something you do regularly, and something you're not aware of, that bugs the hell out of people. You'll need to find out what it is. Start with your family, particularly whichever family member you get along most with and/or talk to the most often, they should know your character the best.

I tend to disagree with the last part of your post because we act drasticly different while spending time with family than while hanging out with friends

 

[GameNeo]

Hell, next Saturday im going to Houston for a MVC3 and SSF4 Tournament and no one wants to come with me.

Hey perhaps thats the reason, I mean think about it, not a lot of people enjoy games and look down upon us gamers.

You just gotta find some friends who enjoy the same things as you, i guess.

Hey im worse at making friends than you, so what would I know?
Just giving my opinion.

"I have a variety of interests

AsI quoted, gaming is not the only hobby I have. I study and act in Theatre, have in interest in the mechanics of a vehicle and among other things. Thank you for your insight though.

Maybe you're a dick.

Hardly.

That's weird, never heard of someone having trouble making friends before. Maybe you are just boring as a human being or something.

Perhaps I am but that is the problem I have. I have no idea what is boring about me and/or how to adjust it.

We're getting your end of the story, not anybody else's.

Chances are, there's something you do regularly, and something you're not aware of, that bugs the hell out of people. You'll need to find out what it is. Start with your family, particularly whichever family member you get along most with and/or talk to the most often, they should know your character the best.

Now this is the advice I am looking for. Consider it done.

I don't know you, but considering you are inviting people who aren't even your friends to a gaming tournament in Houston, isn't there a chance you are a little too head-on? Also, it seems you are a gamer, so try befriending other people who enjoy games as much as you do.

Also try hanging out with co-workers and classmates. Even uf they don't like you at first, they will eventually get used to you and some of them may become your friends

See that is the problem, I do try to hang out with my classmates. Hell, I have even tried to organize a group study for our second assessment but it did not work out at all. Also, When I invited a couple of these people, I had thought we were friendly enough to invite them considering its only about an hour-two hour drive to houston from where I live. Maybe I should not assume things. And to top things over, where I live there are hardly any gamers around here.

 

[J474]

Try not to be so forceful with friendships, people don't tend to particularly like someone they've met once before turning up on their doorstep asking to hang out, and the like. Try taking it more slowly and letting a friendship develop on its own.

Also, on a wholly serious note, do you have some kind of physical deformity, or something of the sort that may be putting people off you. I used to know someone who was perfectly lovely, but he smelled quite bad, and for that reason alone, people didn't really hang out with him. Just a thought...

 

[open trap]

Step 1: Make sure you dont smell.
Step 2: Shower regulerly.
Step 3: Make sure your voice is not annoying.
Step 4: Make sure you look decent (clothing and hygene wise)
Step 5: Dont talk too much, know when you must speak and not hog up the conversation
Step 6: Find people similer to you, interest and social status wise.

Thats all i got for you man. I find i fit in well with anuy social group i aim for, i just choose to like the nerds/metal heads/outcasts. They are nicer and more fun

 

[Section Crow]

im no expert on social relationships such as friends...

but what i do know from my limited knowledge in a social life is that you need someone who can relate to you, someone to laugh with at your odd sense of humour, a connection to make a bond.

 

[Vern5]

Maybe you're a dick.

Hardly.

Wait. How do you know?

 

[Custard_Angel]

Hell, next Saturday im going to Houston for a MVC3 and SSF4 Tournament and no one wants to come with me.

Perhaps you need to come to terms with the fact that 99.99% of the world just don't give a shit about this stuff. Hell... I love gaming, but I wouldn't travel out of town to accompany someone while they play in a competition.

I spent years of my life wondering why I didn't fit in with others to the point I became a hopeless depressive shit. Later I realised the problem was that while I said "I don't fit in with people" what I meant was "people don't fit in with me".

It wasn't until I cut the bullshit and realised that the source of the problem was my own self centred attitude that I learned how to be happy.

Maybe the way to connect to other people is to feign interest with their boring shit, rather than getting them to follow your boring shit. Hell... you might even have a little fun along the way.

Half of growing up is unlearning how special and important you are and the other half is learning how to be nice to other people.

Also... that whole "what's wrong with me" attitude needs to go. Drop it. Now. It helps no one. Especially not you.

 

[GameNeo]

Try not to be so forceful with friendships, people don't tend to particularly like someone they've met once before turning up on their doorstep asking to hang out, and the like. Try taking it more slowly and letting a friendship develop on its own.

Also, on a wholly serious note, do you have some kind of physical deformity, or something of the sort that may be putting people off you. I used to know someone who was perfectly lovely, but he smelled quite bad, and for that reason alone, people didn't really hang out with him. Just a thought...

I understand your reasoning but I do not meet someone then like a day later call them up and be like "ZOMG DUDE LEIK U WUNNA HANG OUT N GETTED DUNK N STUFF??!?!111!?!. I understand boundaries when I meet someone new, but it is not like im asking them to wash my grandpa but is calling someone up when I have the free time (which I rarely do) just to do shit or whatever asking much? I hardly think so. As for a condition like you speak of, no I do not have any medical condition that might affect people. Though, I do have a mild case of acne and am slightly over-weight (bout 245 lbs)

 

[GameNeo]

Maybe you're a dick.

Hardly.

Wait. How do you know?

Well, considering I do not act like a dick nor a douche 99% I would think I wouldnt be but, maybe I am and just do not know it.

For reference, here is my channel with a specific video about an event I went to. Please tell me your honest opinion if I look like shit or act like a dick.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF_ieWhXng0

Hell, next Saturday im going to Houston for a MVC3 and SSF4 Tournament and no one wants to come with me.

Aw damn, I just left Housten!

OT: Maybe you should find out why? Do people truly share your interests?

I would love to know why, but I can not seem to get in contact with them most of the time.

 

[Vern5]

Maybe you're a dick.

Hardly.

Wait. How do you know?

Well, considering I do not act like a dick nor a douche 99% I would think I wouldnt be but, maybe I am and just do not know it.

For reference, here is my channel with a specific video about an event I went to. Please tell me your honest opinion if I look like shit or not.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF_ieWhXng0

When does anyone really know when they are acting like a dick? Hell, I've done dickish things hundreds of times and I always had the same first response: "What did I do?" and I'm very patient and accommodating (or so people keep telling me, which i think is weird).

Maybe you come off as awkward or something? Maybe you should ask your next acquaintance.

Actually, on the subject of acquaintances, what's wrong with just having those? I have very few close friends but a very large circle of people with whom I am familiar. Maybe you're putting this friend thing on a pedestal. Maybe you're expecting something very specific from a friend, in which case, you may have more than you know.

But seriously, ask someone your question in person to get a more revealing answer.

 

[OutforEC]

And I have no clue what the Sam-fucking-hell I am doing wrong. I have a variety of interests, I go out, im social, not afraid to talk to anyone(man or women), I am not self-concious, I dont give two shits what people think or how they judge me, and I always respect someone until they give me a reason to disrespect them.

First thing I noticed. Making friends is about connecting with others, and as long as you put off an attitude of nonchalance about the connection, others will follow suit.

I've always had the best luck with co-workers, since there is already a built-in connection formed just from having to put up with all the same things your co-workers do. Shared misery seems to make really tight bonds (just ask anyone in the military), and if all else fails you can always fall back on the subject for small-talk. Once you get the work talk out of the way, you can use that to springboard into other things. Same works with classmates, and tends to be more interesting smalltalk as well, so that's a plus.

As an aside, I think it's somewhat inherent in today's society that friendships are harder to keep up with. The fact that you're in college indicates that you're in an age group that is just now being, usually for the first time, bombarded with 'real life' stuff, and are trying to find their roles in society. Personally, once out of high school it took me at least a year to figure out the person I was, and started making the kind of friends that stay throughout the rest of life.

 

[GameNeo]

Maybe you're a dick.

Hardly.

Wait. How do you know?

Well, considering I do not act like a dick nor a douche 99% I would think I wouldnt be but, maybe I am and just do not know it.

For reference, here is my channel with a specific video about an event I went to. Please tell me your honest opinion if I look like shit or not.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF_ieWhXng0

When does anyone really know when they are acting like a dick? Hell, I've done dickish things hundreds of times and I always had the same first response: "What did I do?" and I'm very patient and accommodating (or so people keep telling me, which i think is weird).

Maybe you come off as awkward or something? Maybe you should ask your next acquaintance.

Actually, on the subject of acquaintances, what's wrong with just having those? I have very few close friends but a very large circle of people with whom I am familiar. Maybe you're putting this friend thing on a pedestal. Maybe you're expecting something very specific from a friend, in which case, you may have more than you know.

But seriously, ask someone your question in person to get a more revealing answer.

Hmm, quite possibly but considering I have zero close friends It would be nice to build a little something more than just an acquaintanceship.

And I have no clue what the Sam-fucking-hell I am doing wrong. I have a variety of interests, I go out, im social, not afraid to talk to anyone(man or women), I am not self-concious, I dont give two shits what people think or how they judge me, and I always respect someone until they give me a reason to disrespect them.

First thing I noticed. Making friends is about connecting with others, and as long as you put off an attitude of nonchalance about the connection, others will follow suit.

I've always had the best luck with co-workers, since there is already a built-in connection formed just from having to put up with all the same things your co-workers do. Shared misery seems to make really tight bonds (just ask anyone in the military), and if all else fails you can always fall back on the subject for small-talk. Once you get the work talk out of the way, you can use that to springboard into other things. Same works with classmates, and tends to be more interesting smalltalk as well, so that's a plus.

As an aside, I think it's somewhat inherent in today's society that friendships are harder to keep up with. The fact that you're in college indicates that you're in an age group that is just now being, usually for the first time, bombarded with 'real life' stuff, and are trying to find their roles in society. Personally, once out of high school it took me at least a year to figure out the person I was, and started making the kind of friends that stay throughout the rest of life.

I see. Well, consider yourself lucky pizono. As for for your college theory, that may be.

 

[Vern5]

Maybe you're a dick.

Hardly.

Wait. How do you know?

Well, considering I do not act like a dick nor a douche 99% I would think I wouldnt be but, maybe I am and just do not know it.

For reference, here is my channel with a specific video about an event I went to. Please tell me your honest opinion if I look like shit or not.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF_ieWhXng0

When does anyone really know when they are acting like a dick? Hell, I've done dickish things hundreds of times and I always had the same first response: "What did I do?" and I'm very patient and accommodating (or so people keep telling me, which i think is weird).

Maybe you come off as awkward or something? Maybe you should ask your next acquaintance.

Actually, on the subject of acquaintances, what's wrong with just having those? I have very few close friends but a very large circle of people with whom I am familiar. Maybe you're putting this friend thing on a pedestal. Maybe you're expecting something very specific from a friend, in which case, you may have more than you know.

But seriously, ask someone your question in person to get a more revealing answer.

Hmm, quite possibly but considering I have zero close friends It would be nice to build a little something more than just an acquaintanceship

Well, when I say very few close friends, i really mean 2 whom I can almost always depend on. Of course, one is a busy, emotionally impassive wall of a musician and the other is total drunk (although he is very, very wise to the ways of enjoying life to the fullest).

Are you looking to build a relationship? You know, people use that analogy all the time but I don't think you can build a rapport. Rather, you have to let it grow on its own. If the essential elements are not compatible for this growth then the rapport will not flourish or completely die. Where, exactly, have you been looking for these close friendships the most?

 

[GameNeo]

Maybe you're a dick.

Hardly.

Wait. How do you know?

Well, considering I do not act like a dick nor a douche 99% I would think I wouldnt be but, maybe I am and just do not know it.

For reference, here is my channel with a specific video about an event I went to. Please tell me your honest opinion if I look like shit or not.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF_ieWhXng0

When does anyone really know when they are acting like a dick? Hell, I've done dickish things hundreds of times and I always had the same first response: "What did I do?" and I'm very patient and accommodating (or so people keep telling me, which i think is weird).

Maybe you come off as awkward or something? Maybe you should ask your next acquaintance.

Actually, on the subject of acquaintances, what's wrong with just having those? I have very few close friends but a very large circle of people with whom I am familiar. Maybe you're putting this friend thing on a pedestal. Maybe you're expecting something very specific from a friend, in which case, you may have more than you know.

But seriously, ask someone your question in person to get a more revealing answer.

Hmm, quite possibly but considering I have zero close friends It would be nice to build a little something more than just an acquaintanceship

Well, when I say very few close friends, i really mean 2 whom I can almost always depend on. Of course, one is a busy, emotionally impassive wall of a musician and the other is total drunk (although he is very, very wise to the ways of enjoying life to the fullest).

Are you looking to build a relationship? You know, people use that analogy all the time but I don't think you can build a rapport. Rather, you have to let it grow on its own. If the essential elements are not compatible for this growth then the rapport will not flourish or completely die. Where, exactly, have you been looking for these close friendships the most?

Um, I am not sure I understand the question clearly. What do you mean by where have I have been looking for close friendships? But yes, I try to build relationships with people because I do find people quite fascinating. I mean for an example, if you take the public bus, each person on the bus has had their own life experiences, troubles, achievements and relationships. You will never see two of the same people and its quite fascinating when you consider we might all have the same goal but different ways of achieving it. Heh, sorry for going off topic a bit but I just find a person's life fascinating which could explain why I am getting a minor in psychology.