Funniest Game Cliche

[Katana314]

Scientist: So I've been thinking of doing some research on the lines of Autograeoscopy.
Evil Overlord: Wat
Scientist: It doesn't matter, it's evil and makes soldiers big.
Evil Overlord: Oh.
Scientist: But we need guards.
Evil Overlord: How many?
Scientist: Like 50,000. They need machine guns and rocket launchers and their entire complex that's bigger than the research facility.
Evil Overlord: I couldn't just get like two, give them pistols and station them at the front door?
Scientist: No.

 

[mezmerizer02]

I am the chosen one, yet I need to learn magical spells and level myself up from someone else who already knows these skills and thus could already dispose of said bad man.

 

[Jark212]

"Sure I can help you save the world and all the innocent people, but I won't until you get my dry cleaning"

No logic there...

 

[Dr. wonderful]

What the hell kinda games you been playin'?

OT: the one about you being the ONLY one who can STOP them.[/quote]

...Role playing games. :3

OT: Super soldiers....They are useless.

 

[Nico III]

The whole "Food = Health" thing.

"Major lacerations? 3rd degree burns? Internal bleeding? Have a snack, you'll be fine!"

 

[RazerSauber]

"I seem to have lost [Insert Object Here]. Can you go spend hours trawling through caves and hacking down fodder as I stand here waiting for the next guy to do the same? I'll give you 3gp for doing so!"

Also, games where YOU and ONLY YOU can destroy the final boss because he has a weakness for either logic or some pixels powered by a plastic pad..

 

[Instant K4rma]

Every FPS ever:

A slash or stab from a knife is more powerful and deadly than multiple gunshots.

 

[Snicks]

I love the fantasy setting cliche of dwarves living underground yet also loving beer. Where do they grow the hops etc. needed to brew beer if they live in a mountain?

It's dwarf beer! Strained from their mighty beards!

Wait, so you're saying Dwarves milk themselves and then drink it?

Isn't that like, cannabalism?

OT: The ol' Resident Evil, "this grenadee launcher can decimate hordes of the undead but can't knock down a simple wooden door" trope.

 

[thublihnk]

"I seem to have lost [Insert Object Here]. Can you go spend hours trawling through caves and hacking down fodder as I stand here waiting for the next guy to do the same? I'll give you 3gp for doing so!"

Also, games where YOU and ONLY YOU can destroy the final boss because he has a weakness for either logic or some pixels powered by a plastic pad..

My question is how the HELL did this poor defenseless sap 'drop' his worthless trinket on the other side of some insane baddies? What was he doing there, and how did he get back??

 

[Evil the White]

That you can't kill kids...I just find it funny how so no games let you kill kids.

Sure, you can kill DEMONIC kids. But you can't walk up to Lil' Johnny and pump him full of lead.

Look at the Deus Ex games. Invisible War had a whole school full of kids for you to kill.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

That you can't kill kids...I just find it funny how so no games let you kill kids.

Sure, you can kill DEMONIC kids. But you can't walk up to Lil' Johnny and pump him full of lead.

Look at the Deus Ex games. Invisible War had a whole school full of kids for you to kill.

Why is it that only PC games seem to get the child killin' fun?

 

[Hristo Petrov]

The fact that YOU ARE T3H CHOSEN 1 and yet you can't pass the fucking tutorial because the attributes you chose to improve during character generation sucked (Fallout)

 

[Evil the White]

That you can't kill kids...I just find it funny how so no games let you kill kids.

Sure, you can kill DEMONIC kids. But you can't walk up to Lil' Johnny and pump him full of lead.

Look at the Deus Ex games. Invisible War had a whole school full of kids for you to kill.

Why is it that only PC games seem to get the child killin' fun?

Because we are just awesome.

 

[Iron Mal]

Machine guns were apparantly designed to fire weaker bullets than other guns otherwise everyone in warzones would just be whoring them.

Shotguns work like blunderbusses and have an effective range of around five feet.

It is not uncommon to have an entire army of snipers and rocket launcher specialists deployed to a battle field (most multiplayer games).

What you see is not nessercarily what you get (you'd think all the armor covering the riot shield guy in MW2 would afford an extra level of protection?).

By good fortune, a person armed with an appropriate weapon for a nearby enemy or ambush died in a nearby safe place (along with extra ammo and medical supplies).

No matter how hard you try, you will never be as cool or badass as someone in a cutscene.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

That you can't kill kids...I just find it funny how so no games let you kill kids.

Sure, you can kill DEMONIC kids. But you can't walk up to Lil' Johnny and pump him full of lead.

Look at the Deus Ex games. Invisible War had a whole school full of kids for you to kill.

Why is it that only PC games seem to get the child killin' fun?

Because we are just awesome.

Can you rephrase that in a way that makes you sound like less of a douchebag?

Anyways, I'll check out Dues Ex on Steam. If my shitty PC can run it. It can run Oblivion on Low, with an okay draw distance (have to turn off "Distant Land".)

 

[EeveeElectro]

The villain does not like the human race so he wants to kill everyone apart from a select few, seemingly breed with them and start a new superior race.
Oh hai Mr Cliché, I've been expecting you.

 

[kalakashi]

Maybe you could make a "Sarge-em-up" game that revolves around giving out said orders...
Pick an unfortunate underling then scream at him (possibly using a headset) until he wets his pants...[/quote]

Did you ever play SWAT: Global Strike Team/Force? You could shout at enemies until they surrendered =P coop as well:

"SWAT"
"SWAT"
"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE -"
"SWAT"
"PUT YOUR HA -"
"SWAT"
"SWAT"
"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AI -"
"PUT YOUR HANDS IN TH -"
"SWAT"
"PUT YO -"
"SWAT"

Good days.

No matter how hard you try, you will never be as cool or badass as someone in a cutscene.

Which is why Gordon Freeman is the best man in the world.