Funniest Left 4 Dead Stories

[runedeadthA]

I remember an epic vs match:
Well it started off o.k on no mercy sewers but it rapidly went to hell when the noob on the team (and random , the other 2 were friends) goes and incaps BOTH of my friends, and then has the good grace to get smokered off the roof on the lift crescendo event thing. Anyway i was urged to run and run i did, the lift horde having the benifit of distracting the special zombies and causing no normal zombies to spawn (thank you zombie limit) so i had a clear run into the sewers. Once i got in them zombies started spawn (specs and normal) on red HP i managed to fight off these villainous rouges and make to the ladder with hunters being blown away left right N center. Frankly they were terrible and i was kicking ass. However of course All good thing must come to an end, once at the ladder i could hear the crys of a hunter, a boomer and a smoker. I threw my pipe bomb (i had no pain pillz or medkits btw) and that drew off the horde. I then advanced up the ladder and emerged to find a boomer in ma face. I melee d him, shot im and then was pulled by the smoker, i manged to shoot him and then with my last bullet, shot the pouncing hunter in the face.

And then, I took a step back and fell down the manhole and died.

 

[AllTheoryNoPractice]

It was the final level of Blood Harvest on Versus, and the APC was driving up. I end up spawning in as the final tank and luckily end up near the the APC. I sprint towards it, bashing Louis off the entry ramp and discover that the tank fits inside. I sat inside the APC, punching the survivors back into the horde as they tried to enter, laughing hysterically the whole time. The crowning moment was after every Survivor was dead, all of the Infected climbed inside and it just so happened that we had one of every type of SpecInfected. The final image of the game was the APC driving off, the four of us inside it, like WE were the main characters of the game.

 

[Russian_Assassin]

30 feet away from the safe house, all 4 at full health and the last horde spawns. We start to fight and then 2 hunter players leap on us, I am at the bottom of the stairs shoving off zombies like girls at a Jonas Bros. concert and then the last player throws a molotov at me roasting the horde and crippling me. Mission failed, the infected win, I yell at the retard who team killed me. Then I close the game and go off to play tf2. Yes, this is my story.

 

[ironmace2.0]

we were on the heli pad on nomercy and I was louise by brother bill zoey and francis npcs both pinned next to each other I was hanging of the roof the heli was here my brother had just killed the tank I screamed "HHHHHHHHHHelllllllllllllllp meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!" he throws the flaming beer (cant remember what its called) it kills francis and zoey runs over picks up a pipe bomb and m4 runs in to the closet and zoeys in there she pulls me up were running from all of the special infected and an army of norms he throws the pipe bomb distracts the norms but the specials keep comming zoey gets pinned my brothers in the heli im running to it and the tank smacks me off to the side! im cleaning to it while zoey gets malled by evreyone and the tank comes for me but before he can my brother jumps out of the heli I scream on my mic "I knew youd come back for me!" he then m4s me to death then runs to heli and can see me in the closet but continues to kill zoey and then he escapes fun tho!

 

[Deguasser]

On No Mercy playing Versus, Got out of the sewer trying to get to the safe house got vomited on told my friend to throw a pipe bomb, He didn't so then I threw a controller at my flat screen LCD HDTV and broke it out of anger and from being up late. Everyone else was laughing while I was screaming at 5 in the morning.

 

[Snidenightshade]

i cant rember which campaign i was on. i sneaked up to a witch she looked at me and i shot her head first with a shotgun. bad thing is i cant do it agian =[

 

[Inco]

I was playing with a friend on the 360 version on expert, and having only played it on normal we were wondering how hard it was. When the first horde came at us (and we nearly got eaten alive) we didnt want to risk dying a good deal in to the level, so my friend and I jumped straight into the closet, locking zoey outside to deal with the horde. Well when we opened the door, we found that zoey had lost 0 health but was literally standing on the 20 or so zombies that attacked. We wondered how the hell she lived it, so ever since then we called her 'super zoey!'. Of course, we now know that as a fluke cause in the same campaign she jumped a building and missed the landing falling to her death (for some reason she didnt grab the slope) Oh and the campaign in question is 'dead air'.

 

[Platinum117]

I was playing with a friend and two others. I was Zoey, the guy playing Bill sounded like he was about three years old and was annoying as fuck not to mention terrible at the game.

So we just get out of the lfit at No Mercy, you know the bit that hasnt been finished yet and theres ledges you can fall off everywhere. Well i knock zombie off the edge and peer over to watch him fall, hilarious as always, the little kid decides he want to do the same and not only walks not runs but fucking jumps right off the edge. Fortunately for him he grabs on to the edge and waits for his faithful teamates to help him up.

HELP NEVER CAME We sat there and beat him with our rifles until he fell.

 

[Woundingisfun]

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/481341
Not my story but I though it was funny.

 

[Platinum117]

It was the final level of Blood Harvest on Versus, and the APC was driving up. I end up spawning in as the final tank and luckily end up near the the APC. I sprint towards it, bashing Louis off the entry ramp and discover that the tank fits inside. I sat inside the APC, punching the survivors back into the horde as they tried to enter, laughing hysterically the whole time. The crowning moment was after every Survivor was dead, all of the Infected climbed inside and it just so happened that we had one of every type of SpecInfected. The final image of the game was the APC driving off, the four of us inside it, like WE were the main characters of the game.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

 

[Danny Ocean]

I have a new one, playing with Danny Ocean, he pulled me up of the hospital sides before falling to my death, only to have the command stop, and then I plunge to my death anyway.

I was waiting for that to come up. Stuff like that always happens with Prophet and I. Even if something isn't funny we make it funny.

For example:

No Mercy finale. Prophet is on the minigun trying to get Red Mist. We've stacked all the red (communist) barrels on the roof for later throwing. Of course he gets swamped because the zombies come from behind, so I just screamed, "ZOMBIES!!! PANIC!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!", shoot the two red canisters, which bathed the roof in flame with prophet still on it. I spray around him to get the zombies off him, and he escapes... on fire. So I shot him a few times to put the fire out.

He just looked at me and said, "OOooh". With Louis, I was in fits.

We do all kinds of crazy stuff. People should play with us more often.

 

[Novania]

Blood Harvest finale. I was in the truck waiting for rest of team, i was fighting zombies so they could get in. Anyway so they are still in the barn and the damn tank comes into the truck and kills me. Of course im dead and the 3 other guys make in and get out alive

 

[Platinum117]

I remember an epic vs match:
Well it started off o.k on no mercy sewers but it rapidly went to hell when the noob on the team (and random , the other 2 were friends) goes and incaps BOTH of my friends, and then has the good grace to get smokered off the roof on the lift crescendo event thing. Anyway i was urged to run and run i did, the lift horde having the benifit of distracting the special zombies and causing no normal zombies to spawn (thank you zombie limit) so i had a clear run into the sewers. Once i got in them zombies started spawn (specs and normal) on red HP i managed to fight off these villainous rouges and make to the ladder with hunters being blown away left right N center. Frankly they were terrible and i was kicking ass. However of course All good thing must come to an end, once at the ladder i could hear the crys of a hunter, a boomer and a smoker. I threw my pipe bomb (i had no pain pillz or medkits btw) and that drew off the horde. I then advanced up the ladder and emerged to find a boomer in ma face. I melee d him, shot im and then was pulled by the smoker, i manged to shoot him and then with my last bullet, shot the pouncing hunter in the face.

And then, I took a step back and fell down the manhole and died.

He he. watched a friend do much the same thing once

 

[McScore]

I've got three stories to tell you:
1 - Hunter Camping
Versus, No Mercy, First Map, I'm on infected
The survivors do badly: Bill has died, Zoey is on her last life, Francis is on red and Louis is quite well. The living survivors stick together and seem to make it to the saferoom. So I, spawning as Hunter, run into the saferoom and hide in the bathroom. There I wait until the survivors come in, close the door and... nothing happens - the game is still on. I use this second of confusion to hit Zoey one time, killing her instantly. Francis notices me, but ran out of ammo for his uzi and fails to kill me while I am running round in circles hitting him now and then until he is incapitated. Louis still has no idea of whats going on, he keeps staring at the closed saferoom-door. Eventually he opens it, thinking the game is bugged or something, to close it again. But he can't - the moment he opened the door I pounced him and the other zombies flood the place.
Francis killed me with his pistols, but I kept laughing like mad.

2 - Retard
I usually play with one or two friends, but one time we were five friends and unlucky me was to play in the enemy team. As if that wasn't bad enough, I noticed my teammates behaviour and complained about them in allchat:
Me: "Oh no, there are two kiddies and one retard playing with me."
Teammate: "Hey, I am of legal age!"
Me: "see above"

3 - left for dead
expert Campaign, No Mercy, Finale
The chopper has just arrived, my character Louis is quite well and I am running across the helipad with Francis, played by one of my mates (I'll keep calling him Francis). Just a few inces before the helicopter a hunter pounces Louis. "Oh shit, a Hunter on me!" I exclamed in voice chat, although I anticipate being helped soon. But nothing happens. Francis has turned his back on me shooting normal zombies for fun. Louis is being torn apart by the Hunter yelling for help in game. I, in voice chat, am getting nervous: "Hey, Francis, I need your help. A Hunter is on me!" Louis is brought down and I am screaming hysterically "Francis? Do something! HELP ME! HELL! DO SOMETHING USEFUL! FRAAAAAAANCIIIIIIIS!!" Louis died with my words on his lips, screaming for help pathetically. Eventually Francis turns around, walks up to Louis body, states "Oh, you are dead." and enters the chopper.
Watching the credits...
"Why didn't you help me?" I asked Francis reproacfully.
"Ah, I didn't notice."
"Hell, I was yelling your name loud enough, didn't I?"
"Yes, but you tend to yell on me a lot, so I just ignored that"
I never ever played L4D with him again.

 

[AllTheoryNoPractice]

I'd never played Expert mode before, so my brother and I decided to try it out. After our first few laughable attempts, we SOMEHOW managed to make it to level 2 of No Mercy, with two random people off XBox Live. From here, we made SIX separate attempts to clear the level, but to no avail. Eventually, we ended up sending the players one at a time through the level to see how far they could make it. The final straw came when on our tenth or so retry, I started screaming about how there was no more hope and that we should end it all before we became food. I then proceeded to gun down everyone on my team, until we ended up in a four-way showdown as we lay bleeding on the floor. Their exact words were "Stop f***ing machine-gunning us!" I agreed, and immediately proceeded to use the shotgun instead. After more complaints, I finally just molotov-ed the room and began screaming that fire was the only way to purge our sins and, therefore, cleanse the infection from our bodies.

I haven't played Expert since.

 

[spuddyt]

on blood harvest, the finale, right on the left at the start there is that instant kill spot as smoker if you stand in the right place and drag from they get pulled onto a part of the ledge which they can't grab onto and fall off, and we had the most hilarious attempt at this where we killed 3 people, because the smoker (me) failed at the first guy, he grabbed the edge, but when 2 others came to get him (ignoring me), a hunter pounced one, pushing the other off the instant kill spot, I then grabbed the next guy and he went down off the edge, Then the next guy killed me and the hunter, and got the other guy up and legged it while the 1st guy stopped still for some reason, and when a boomer landed in front of him and the other guy shot it... well take a guess

 

[richard99th]

we where playing blood harvest we where all dead except one guy who was kicking ass but then disaster.....
"uh guys im almost outta assault rounds"
"crap"
"wait theres the safe room! im gonna make it!"
witch cries
"crap where is it mate?"
silence.......
"right outside the door and in now outta ammo"

needless to say he shot at her with his pistols and then tried to make it past her and close the door, didnt work and we all laughed at his unluckyness.

 

[PsykoDragon]

Blood Harvest, VS Mode, Survivors at their last stand waiting for the APC to pick them up, me in the Infected team, all of us taking a beating... When finally, FINALLY, someone becomes a tank: me. I started smacking around survivors & we turned the tide, with only Francis left in the APC while zombies shredded the crippled survivors. I jump into the APC after Francis, & just as I smash him once, the other survivors perish, & the APC closes down on me & takes us for a trip! I was half expecting to hear Francis screaming as the APC shook violently from side-to-side. "Oh man he's screwed" was heard from several people.

Another time: I almost always leave my window a bit open. So one night when I'm playing as a survivor, I hear a scream in the distance outside! I turn around worried, then 5 seconds later, planning on disconnecting from the server & going to take a look, I turn back to my screen... only to find a marker on Bill saying "[E] Help your friend up!", & a witch right in my face. She screamed the EXACT same scream that startled me earlier, & *shink* down I go kekekeke!!!

...he throws the flaming beer...

LOL! Flaming beer is much more funny than your whole story, which gave me a headache trying to read. Seriously, emoticons don't count as punctuation.

...The final image of the game was the APC driving off, the four of us inside it, like WE were the main characters of the game.

EPIC

 

[Straitjacketeering]

I was playing versus mode and someone on the infected team started singing journey in a very high pitched voice, eventually all I heard through the headset was everyone,"JUST A CITY BOY BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROOOIITT!" and after they finished they started singing Aerosmith and everything else.

You don't know how good this game is until you're strangled by a smoker singing Johnny Cash.

 

[AllTheoryNoPractice]

I remember a Campaign on Dead Air on the level with the skybrige before the saferoom; you know, the one where you have to go through the parking structure to get there? Anyway, I had effectively ditched my friends, convinced they were slowing me down. I make it up the parking garage and across the bridge. I can see the frickin' saferoom and as I'm about to reach it, a Tank spawns INSIDE THE SAFEROOM. I begin screaming as he punches me back across the skybridge. I run back to my friends just in time to be felled by a thrown boulder on my last life. My friends easily dispatch the tank and calmly walk into the saferoom and complete the level. So, effectively, this is what they saw in the last five minutes:

Dylados: Oh God, they're everywhere!
ME: Screw this, I'm going to the saferoom!
(two minutes later)
ME: OH GOD, RUN! RUUUUUN!(DEAD)
Friends: BLAMBLAMBLAM!
ME:...I hate you guys. Seriously.