Funniest thing you have heard a teacher/boss say

[sizzle949]

The closest thing I have found to this when I searched it was "Funny teacher fights" so I'm going to run with it.

What is the funniest thing you have heard a teacher or boss say just completely out of the blue during class or work?

We once had this grade 11 Physics teacher who was German and loved to teach with a German accent (regardless of the fact he doesn't actually have one) and sometimes use German. One day this kid in class who was a very proud and vocal Muslim was asked to solve a problem in front of the class. He says that it's twelve and the teacher replies no, he's wrong. The kid then says "Sir, I swear to god it's twelve!" to which the teacher replied without missing a beat "Yeah, well I swear to god too, AND MY GOD IS BETTER THAN YOUR GOD!" We all laughed for a good five minutes at him.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

My Art teacher who is as white and meek as they come.
"Holla"

or the priest/ principal at my school, that's first all school liturgy homily focused around Master Chief

But I think my all time fav is when my Geometry teacher would use her D20 in class to randomly quiz us on our homework

 

[MasterSqueak]

or the priest/ principal at my school, that's first all school liturgy homily focused around Master Chief

Please explain, while I can contain my laughter.

 

[grimsprice]

My Trig. teacher used to say this funny thing...

Whenever someone would come up with the wrong answer for a problem, he'd look over their work and say,
" Wow, thats math magic right there."
And we would all know he'd found the problem. He was so cool.

 

[Commodore Hotpants]

We had a little chinese lady sub-teaching us history one day when I was in year 12, and of course none of us could really understand her so we didn't really focus. Out of nowhere she sighed loudly and gave us all a big look and said: "Confucius say, when senior student looking down to side in class, senior student have SMS." It was so random, we all laughed for like a good three minutes because all of us were texting instead of listening.

 

[Neonbob]

"Catch it!"
Lemme explain real quick.
In 12th grade, I took Physics with the coolest teacher I've ever had.
One day, we did a lab to showcase acceleration. We all brought in fruit, and headed down to the football field. He met us there with a water balloon slingshot.
And the offer of extra credit to anyone who caught a piece of the fruit.
He also had a plastic knife with him, and he'd randomly cut into some fruit, to make sure they'd explode nicely. That class was the best EVER.

And the only boss I've ever had was while working with Vector.
I was not the best seller. At all.
So everything our over enthusiastic manager(some big shot District manager) had to say either made me crack up inside because of the sheer corniness, or die a bit because of the overacting.
Mostly I died inside, though.

 

[Alux]

Today, actually. I said something was 'bullsh... I mean crap.' My teacher said, that 'it's not bullcrap, it's bullshit, man.'

This, the same class in which I'm going to get run over by a car for a movie we're making. I love that class.

 

[ethaninja]

My boss is pretty spastic

 

[badgersprite]

This was how a teacher of mine taught us how to structure our essays paragraph by paragraph.

"- Introduction.

- Bullshit.

- Bullshit.

- Bullshit.

- Conclusion."

 

[Kuchinawa212]

or the priest/ principal at my school, that's first all school liturgy homily focused around Master Chief

Please explain, while I can contain my laughter.

It was freshman year, but the gist of it was that we had to stand up and fight against the forces of temptation and we must become the Master Chiefs against temptation. But we don't have to go alone, as we can have our friends, our Arbiters, aid us. So that we never have to finish the fight alone.

Something kinda like that, except longer, and with even more halo references thrown in

 

[Acier]

Latin Teacher while going over vocab, some rowdy kids talking in the back

"Hey you! I got some vocab for you, Paper or plastic, you're going to be using those the rest of your life"

 

[Stabber1010]

The funniest thing I ever heard was when my Honors English teacher didn't know who George Orwell was.

 

[MasterSqueak]

or the priest/ principal at my school, that's first all school liturgy homily focused around Master Chief

Please explain, while I can contain my laughter.

It was freshman year, but the gist of it was that we had to stand up and fight against the forces of temptation and we must become the Master Chiefs against temptation. But we don't have to go alone, as we can have our friends, our Arbiters, aid us. So that we never have to finish the fight alone.

Something kinda like that, except longer, and with even more halo references thrown in

Can't...contain...any...BWAHAHAHAHA!

He is awesome.

 

[ae86gamer]

My fifth grade teacher once made me laugh a lot after she swore.

 

[CloakedOne]

My English Teacher:

"Alright about this poem...I was going somewhere with that. What was it? anybody know? Fuck it, moving on to the next one..."

Classically funny.

 

[Smagmuck_]

Okay, I have a good one...


Back in freshmen year I had accelerated math, the teacher was a bit of a hot headed person. So, one day, as we were taking notes in class, other students were being complete idiots and talking in a rude manner, well the last person to mouth off was sitting next to me...
The teacher hears this comment turns around and throws his marker, he then procedes to chew him out and in a rather loud manner and you know what he did next? He kicked my desk over which in turn knocked me out of my chair and on to the floor.



To this day, I have no idea why he kicked my desk over...

 

[karp250]

I was at trivia practice (yes my school had a trivia team) and we were short a player so a math teacher sat in and played the question "what is the term for a increasing velocity." We waited a minute and she couldn't come up with acceleration.

 

[radio1314]

you know it has to be funny when a teacher yells "SIT THE F**K DOWN" during class.

 

[Pimppeter2]

My teacher offers an automatic A to whomever can bring down France's currect Republic