Funniest thing you have heard a teacher/boss say

[the_dancy_vagrant]

I had a physics teacher named Mr. Pantazopoulus who looked EXACTLY like Mario/Lou Albano. To complete the illusion, he was Greek and had an accent that was very similar to an Italian one. One day we mentioned the resemblance, I think it was finals or block schedule or something like that so we had plenty of free time to have a discussion. So he had this little gem to say about it:

"That guy is a moron - he goes and rescues the princess but he never marries her. How stupid is that? A plumber not marrying the princess...I gotta say, if it were me I wouldn't be in any hurry to go back to a job where you're wrist deep in feces all the livelong day. To top it all off the only people he hangs out with are his idiot brother and a dinosaur. You mark my words, Mama and Papa Mario are spinning in their graves over this kind of crap."

 

[A Weary Exile]

"Us white people are outnumbered by you brown folks."

It's not what it sounds like, she wasn't being racist, she's just old.

 

[Tri Force95]

or the priest/ principal at my school, that's first all school liturgy homily focused around Master Chief

Please explain, while I can contain my laughter.

It was freshman year, but the gist of it was that we had to stand up and fight against the forces of temptation and we must become the Master Chiefs against temptation. But we don't have to go alone, as we can have our friends, our Arbiters, aid us. So that we never have to finish the fight alone.

Something kinda like that, except longer, and with even more halo references thrown in

that sounds epic

 

[Kuchinawa212]

or the priest/ principal at my school, that's first all school liturgy homily focused around Master Chief

Please explain, while I can contain my laughter.

It was freshman year, but the gist of it was that we had to stand up and fight against the forces of temptation and we must become the Master Chiefs against temptation. But we don't have to go alone, as we can have our friends, our Arbiters, aid us. So that we never have to finish the fight alone.

Something kinda like that, except longer, and with even more halo references thrown in

that sounds epic

Best part was it was only a few days after Halo 3 came out. yes, Quite epic indeed

 

[Nechti_Visara]

My current English teacher is a great source of these, but I can't remember many of them.

On my last essay, for reasons that would take too long to explain, I had to use the term "Genki Girl" to describe something. (I've been looking over TVTropes for the better part of two months.) Instead of just putting a question mark by the side of the paragraph like most teachers would do, he wrote in "This is so nerdy that it hurts."

Also, yesterday he was talking about another school that he had to visit years ago, and instead of having bushes or shrubs like we have at our school, they had planters full of good-sized rocks. He described the rocks as, and I quote, "Just these huge rocks... that you could TOTALLY pick up and kill someone with. Did they just not think about that when they were designing the school?"

 

[G-Dragon]

my brother got a job as an engineer, but the first month he had nothing to do so his boss said "well we dont have anything for you to do, so you should just cut holes in your pockets and play with yourself"

 

[Kenni-chan]

My Biology teacher:

"Okay classs, who the hell just squeezed the cheese?"

 

[Dr. Love]

I had an economics teacher who played alot of the original mario kart, he guarnteed an A in the class to anyone who could beat him just once.

a thousand kids a year tried, not once has beaten him in 5 years he's done it

 

[Nickolai77]

My year 9 German teacher struggiling to pronounce the German word for Ice Skating

shlitsulaufen (spelling-???????)

Which of course came out as shit shoe laufen..

To a class of 15 year olds, this was hilarious.

 

[Threx]

My business teacher he told me that it probably hurt as much as his butt did last night. Best part is he's also my friends neighbor.

 

[era81]

The funniest thing a boss ever said to me was when I was in the gulf one had told me to make sure this insurgent was dead and if not crack him over the head with this pipe because we where low on ammo,Good times.

 

[Erja_Perttu]

My citizenship teacher was ace. He was pretty old, but the funniest guy I was taught by. he was easily distracted by anything, and every lesson was just him telling funny stories from his life. Mostly about when he was a milkman.

Other than that, my nunchuk wielding, neo look-a-like maths teacher was awesome.

And by Neo look-a-like, I mean one day, he came in in the full gear, leather trench coat, glasses and fake guns and made us do a 'glitch in the matrix' maths lesson. Genius.

 

[Lullabye]

social teacher to me:"mulatto's are pack mules." Im mulatto thank you.
Also, in my grade11/12 psych class my teacher didnt really have boundaries. One class we had too sleep(yes, sleep) and he basically took a phone book and beat the shit out of anyone who made a noise. Then when a girl(he doesnt discriminate) complained he stared at her until she started to cry, then he walks back to his desk while just mumbling loud enough "what a pussy."

 

[Threx]

First day of class my Political Science teacher was making sure the microphone was on in the front of the class.

"Is this thing on?"
"All your base are belong to us, all your base are belong to us."

Awsomeness

 

[damselgaming]

I was working at Game a couple of days ago, and the Manager and Head of Sales were doing pricing. On the radio comes a Ballad of Gay Tony ad...
John: Sounds pretty good.
Mike: What?
John: Gay Tony.
Mike: Yeah, fun to play.
John: It's fun to play with Gay Tony?
Mike: Yup.
John: You enjoying playing with Gay Tony?
Mike: Yes, I enjoy Gay Tony...
John: Ha- Gay.
Mike: You know, he's the manager of a nightclub. And you are also a manager...
John: ...
Mike: ...
John: ... riiiight...
Mike: ... Yeah I don't really know where that was going either... In summary, your gay, you like penises.
John: Gotcha'.

I found it amusing.

 

[Sipo]

my gym teacher in grade 9 gave all the girls tampons after class once. All the guys got all mad at him and demanded to be treated as equal to women and get tampons too, so he gave us some.....and by the end of the day there were tampons all tthrough the school XD