Funniest thing you have heard a teacher/boss say
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I had a physics teacher who was telling us when he died, he wanted to be cremated and shot into the atmosphere so everyone would end up breathing him in.
Our reply?
"Causes thats the only way you'll get inside a woman"
He was a good sport and laughed along
Also my boss and my workmate were talking to this lady who comes in regulary that my workmate was attracted to;
Workmate: Hey girl its my bitrhday today!
Girl: Oh really? Happy birthday!
Boss: Can you belive it? 23 and still a virgin!
Girl: *embarrased face*
Workmate: *storms off*
Our reply?
"Causes thats the only way you'll get inside a woman"
He was a good sport and laughed along
Also my boss and my workmate were talking to this lady who comes in regulary that my workmate was attracted to;
Workmate: Hey girl its my bitrhday today!
Girl: Oh really? Happy birthday!
Boss: Can you belive it? 23 and still a virgin!
Girl: *embarrased face*
Workmate: *storms off*
My very favorite long-term substitute for my English/Literature class, affectionately referred to as "Sully". He may well be the latest reincarnation of the Buddha. At any rate, he's like Neil Perry (cookie for reference), but not as hairy.
But instead of instilling the idea of "carpe diem" in us, he used words and phrases like "flapdoodle", "hunker down", and frequently referred to us as "scuppernogs".
Also, the student teacher I had for Biology that, uh, "mistakenly" inserted a slide about how to count cards into a powerpoint about anaerobic respiration.
But instead of instilling the idea of "carpe diem" in us, he used words and phrases like "flapdoodle", "hunker down", and frequently referred to us as "scuppernogs".
Also, the student teacher I had for Biology that, uh, "mistakenly" inserted a slide about how to count cards into a powerpoint about anaerobic respiration.
My math teacher in Grade 10 was hilarious. On a daily basis he would tell people to shut up if they corrected him.
One Friday, we came to class and he was just like "Nah, I'm not gonna teach today."
He sat with his feet on his desk playing a Nintendo DS while we were making paper airplanes (one of which the teacher threw BTW) and playing make-shift Pictionary on the blackboard.
Best teacher ever.
There was another time in that class when we had a supply teacher, a short Indian lady. A student came in who wasn't even in our class (worst student in school) and started walking around talking to people. Then he flicked a bottlecap around the room a few times until the teacher told him to pick it up. Very non-chalontly he said,
"No."
She was steaming and told him to pick it up again, to which he replied no again. He went to leave but she blocked the door. She was talking to him and then he crouched down so he was at eye-level with her. It was hilarious. He finally went to pick up the bottlecap,
only to throw it across the room again. She told him to get out and then talked to the rest of us for 15 minutes about why we shouldn't have been laughing the whole time.
One Friday, we came to class and he was just like "Nah, I'm not gonna teach today."
He sat with his feet on his desk playing a Nintendo DS while we were making paper airplanes (one of which the teacher threw BTW) and playing make-shift Pictionary on the blackboard.
Best teacher ever.
There was another time in that class when we had a supply teacher, a short Indian lady. A student came in who wasn't even in our class (worst student in school) and started walking around talking to people. Then he flicked a bottlecap around the room a few times until the teacher told him to pick it up. Very non-chalontly he said,
"No."
She was steaming and told him to pick it up again, to which he replied no again. He went to leave but she blocked the door. She was talking to him and then he crouched down so he was at eye-level with her. It was hilarious. He finally went to pick up the bottlecap,
only to throw it across the room again. She told him to get out and then talked to the rest of us for 15 minutes about why we shouldn't have been laughing the whole time.
my social teacher told the class "opinions are like hemorrhoids, any asshole can have one" and I use that to this day
From an old boss:
"You're so low on the scrotum pole, any lower and you'd be touching my ass!"
God I miss working there.
That had the rest of us howling for the rest of the month. I would love having a church service with a Halo theme as Kuchinawa212 refers to as well.
"You're so low on the scrotum pole, any lower and you'd be touching my ass!"
God I miss working there.
That had the rest of us howling for the rest of the month. I would love having a church service with a Halo theme as Kuchinawa212 refers to as well.
When I was in school, I was sitting at lunch and was wearing a hooded jacket (those aren't permitted.) and the principal came up to me and said, "Jacket off!"
To which I replied, "I beg your pardon, sir?!"
To which I replied, "I beg your pardon, sir?!"
A teacher was using molecule sets to explain sucrose and its atoms, when a girl was continuously asking questions about atoms and molecules like how do we see this for real, my teacher pretended to break down and said 'Its just an idea! These are just wooden balls!!'
Sort of similar to this. In intermediate one guy was getting told off by a really short teacher and he was really tall. The teacher says 'Don't look down at me!' so he got down and knelt in front of her. I think he got a detention for that.rhyno435 said:
Well my Latin teacher tends to say "Excuse me, are you dreaming of home and mother and possible drug deals after school?" to anyone who was drifiting off.
He also called me a Scholar and possibly a fine judge of good whisky.
He also called me a Scholar and possibly a fine judge of good whisky.
My Spanish teacher junior year was a recent immigrant and did not have a good idea of pop culture - no grasp at all. One day my friend who, for some reason, really liked Eve 6, worea "Tie Me to the Bed Post" shirt. My Spanish teacher, laughing to himself, pointed to her chest and said very loudly, "No, I'll tie YOU to the bedpost!" There was a sharp intake of breath by all my classmates as he continued laughing, Joker-esque, to himself. Then the bell rang and we all ran off to the next class. He wasn't teaching for much longer.
In college, I took a humanities course with a guy who was notorious for off-topic, inappropriate and mostly pointless ranting. My Human Situation professor, unaware of this, let him respond to the topic of debate on the first day of class. Fifteen minutes later, my professor cuts him off, saying, "Stop, before you infect us with your airborne retard disease, because that is the only reason you could be this stupid." The guy continues to argue his point and my professor banishes him to the Isle of Lepers (a chair in the corner of a room). Best. Prof. Ever.
In college, I took a humanities course with a guy who was notorious for off-topic, inappropriate and mostly pointless ranting. My Human Situation professor, unaware of this, let him respond to the topic of debate on the first day of class. Fifteen minutes later, my professor cuts him off, saying, "Stop, before you infect us with your airborne retard disease, because that is the only reason you could be this stupid." The guy continues to argue his point and my professor banishes him to the Isle of Lepers (a chair in the corner of a room). Best. Prof. Ever.
One of my supervisors told us this story where he got drunk and asked how much people would pay him to go make out wiht a guy across the street.
hilarious jokes were made the rest of summer.
hilarious jokes were made the rest of summer.
When I was in 11th grade, my intermediate Spanish teacher came into class on the first day, slammed his books down on his desk, and snatched up a bottle of Gatorade from a kid's desk, yelling that we would not have drinks unless he gave them to us. He grabbed a bag of Cheetos off another kid's desk, and yelled that we would not have food unless he gave it to us. Then he marched over to his own desk and grabbed the oscillating fan off the top and ripping the cord out of the wall, holding it over his head yelling that we would not have air unless he gave it to us.
This is the same teacher that, when he caught half the class cheating on the midterm, gave us all a strong talking to for getting caught, then made everyone who was cheating hide their notes better before letting them continue to take the test.
This is the same teacher that, when he caught half the class cheating on the midterm, gave us all a strong talking to for getting caught, then made everyone who was cheating hide their notes better before letting them continue to take the test.
We were learning about direct objects
'The direct object is who or what the subject does. Who does the subject do?..That sounds wrong'
We all laughed
'The direct object is who or what the subject does. Who does the subject do?..That sounds wrong'
We all laughed
When I was in 9th grade acting class, we had a really annoying senior in the class. He was loud, rude, and just a general dick. Finally my acting teacher, Mr. Garrison, finally told him, "Philip, shut the fuck up." Highlight of freshman year.
Also, my Western Civilization professor (in college) made a Monty Python reference in class a few weeks ago. We were talking about the Medieval Inquisitions, and he said: "...and, unlike the Spanish Inquisition, these were expected."
Also, my Western Civilization professor (in college) made a Monty Python reference in class a few weeks ago. We were talking about the Medieval Inquisitions, and he said: "...and, unlike the Spanish Inquisition, these were expected."
My physics lab TA talked about how he was wasted one night and bit his friend for wrapping his head (no, perverts) in duct tape, a couple labs ago. and today, he was talking about awesome opiates are. he's cool.