Funniest Thing You've Heard In An Online Game?
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In Guild Wars, in the Dragon's Lair, I was witness to a rather amusing conversation about 'chill pill' suppositories which struck me as quite funny after a serious day of hacking and slashing through the desert. I have the screenshots somewhere, I'll look for them later.
Nobody is safe from douchebaggery, not even douchebags.
Counter Strike Source match for clanbase uk ladder. My team is getting hammered, as per usual, when I accidentally discover that number lock will pause the match config. We get going again when I discover what and how I've done it, and I eplain to my team mates over Ventrilo.
As the score climbs higher in the other teams favour, the server pauses with ever increasing regularity as my team mates try out this fascinating new feature. We're all cracking up over vent. The opposition are not happy.
"Sort it out or we're filing a complaint against you with Clan Base!" or words to that effect.
Now we are under strict instructions from our clan leader NOT to get abusive with opponents (he knows what we're like). No swearing, no accusations of hacking, no quitting the server in a huff.
Our Captain for the match is our Clan Liaison Officer. This is a euphamism for 'bloke who tells c**ts to F**k off'. He's calm, he's rational, he's playing nicely, he's oh bugger...
"None of you C***s is saying a F**KING word to clan base you tossers, 'cause you're fielding an ineligible player. So either default in our favour or finish the F**KING match you pack of ****s."
Silence from the opposition for a moment or two, presumably while they check their steam IDs. The ineligible player leaves the server, to be replaced by another player who is legal.
"Er, sorry about that, do you wanna play on?" They ask.
"No worries mate, let's keep going. Good luck, have fun," replies diplomat of the year.
Counter Strike Source match for clanbase uk ladder. My team is getting hammered, as per usual, when I accidentally discover that number lock will pause the match config. We get going again when I discover what and how I've done it, and I eplain to my team mates over Ventrilo.
As the score climbs higher in the other teams favour, the server pauses with ever increasing regularity as my team mates try out this fascinating new feature. We're all cracking up over vent. The opposition are not happy.
"Sort it out or we're filing a complaint against you with Clan Base!" or words to that effect.
Now we are under strict instructions from our clan leader NOT to get abusive with opponents (he knows what we're like). No swearing, no accusations of hacking, no quitting the server in a huff.
Our Captain for the match is our Clan Liaison Officer. This is a euphamism for 'bloke who tells c**ts to F**k off'. He's calm, he's rational, he's playing nicely, he's oh bugger...
"None of you C***s is saying a F**KING word to clan base you tossers, 'cause you're fielding an ineligible player. So either default in our favour or finish the F**KING match you pack of ****s."
Silence from the opposition for a moment or two, presumably while they check their steam IDs. The ineligible player leaves the server, to be replaced by another player who is legal.
"Er, sorry about that, do you wanna play on?" They ask.
"No worries mate, let's keep going. Good luck, have fun," replies diplomat of the year.
Probably the best moment was on WoW (yes, I play) when I was running an instance with four others in VC. I got aggroed by about 5 people, all elites one level higher than me. As I ran, someone, over their mike, played Yakety Sax (Benny Hill chasing scene theme).
That was awful. I really hated the creators attitude, and when I saw the metal band list I just shut off the video. I don't care how metal you are, really, I care none. The guy is an ass. I don't have an Xbox, and have never played DOA, so don't go saying one of them was me. And no part of it was humorous, just someone condemning others and thinking that is something like humor, sorry chum, hate isn't funny, but it may be metal.goodpoltergeist said:
During a coop mission in OFP with ECP mod, which adds the possibility of people burning, we had a quite fierce engagement with the enemy. After a while the enemy vehicles were destroyed and most infantry killed and there was a pause in shooting. While we carefully moved forward to check for remaining troops we heard a russian swearing behind a slope. The now following discussion wether it was a burning crewman or not ended with our new proverb:
"Burning russians don't swear!".
Another nice one was the description of a teammate where he was located. We were under siege in an "L" shaped industrial site and he got seriously wounded while trying to obtain an at launcher from a killed enemy.
"Imagine the site to be a square. I'm at the corner that doesn't exist."
And it was the best description he could have given
"Burning russians don't swear!".
Another nice one was the description of a teammate where he was located. We were under siege in an "L" shaped industrial site and he got seriously wounded while trying to obtain an at launcher from a killed enemy.
"Imagine the site to be a square. I'm at the corner that doesn't exist."
And it was the best description he could have given
I wish I had screenshots but I'm a moron and I always forget to back them up, however...
Back in the good old days I used to zone into Gfay in EQ1 and /ooc "Batman is so much better than Superman" or something nerdly like it. Well, one day the conversation really gathered some steam and the final argument which ended all discussion was "Who would you rather have; Catwoman or Lois Lane?" and after that no one argued that Batman was better than superman.
Back in the good old days I used to zone into Gfay in EQ1 and /ooc "Batman is so much better than Superman" or something nerdly like it. Well, one day the conversation really gathered some steam and the final argument which ended all discussion was "Who would you rather have; Catwoman or Lois Lane?" and after that no one argued that Batman was better than superman.
Ok, the PC it's on is mothballed, but I'll sum it up...ComradeJim270 said:
This guy was trying to get a party, but this was a Saturday evening, and a lot of the people present, I'm presuming, had done what I just had, spending all day getting to the Dragon's Lair (you HAVE to do the 3 desert missions to access it, now way around that), probably without the fortune of finding a good party to do it, as I had. Getting to this staging area after all of that seemed a good place to take a break, so lots of people were just standing around chatting, not interested in actually starting the mission until they had some down time.
One guy was quite eager to get a party for the mission, but could not, because most people, as I said, were taking a break from missions. This guy (who struck me more as an immature adult than the adolescents and squeakers who more commonly are the focus of these stories) started calling everyone lazy, saying they ought to just go away if they didn't want to do the mission. Berating people with liberal use of the shift and caps lock keys, but surprisingly little foul language (I found this contrast interesting), he soon found someone telling him to 'take a chill pill'. I don't remember the exact dialogue that followed, but it went something like:
Angry Guy: A CHILL PILL!?
Calm Dude: Yeah, settle down, man
AG: I'VE GOT ONE RIGHT HERE
AG: I'M GOING TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS
CD: Ok...
AG: COME HERE AND GET IT
CD: No thanks
AG: COME ON, I'M WAITING HERE
AG: EAGERLY
AG: TO SHOVE THIS PILL UP YOUR ASS
CD: I'm sure you are, bud
Me: They're probably better to take orally
AG: I WILL SHOVE IT INTO YOUR ANUS FLAPS
Me: lol anus flaps
Me: wtf?
CD: That's great, good for you
AG: YOU WILL ENJOY IT
It was kind of a 'you had to be there' moment, but I was struggling to breathe, I was laughing so hard. After a busy day of fighting through the desert, an activity which was exciting and enjoyable, but relatively humorless... and in the middle of more mundane conversations... this was a joy to witness.
When I played Guild Wars once, with a few random people. We went into a battle, which was fine, until half way through the healer stopped healing us for about ten minutes. We eventually all died.
After, we quickly asked what happen.
"Oh, sorry. Was eating a biscuit." It was either a very large biscuit or he was just savouring it. Just one of the things which makes you laugh at the time.
After, we quickly asked what happen.
"Oh, sorry. Was eating a biscuit." It was either a very large biscuit or he was just savouring it. Just one of the things which makes you laugh at the time.
When performing the Dozens [see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/the_dozens ]to really annoying players and jerks online, it's fun when they slip up. Or make a gross exaggeration, such as some kid who repiles 'your mom' (tell-tale sign of age of under 13) and then proceeds to say he's 94 and was born in 1896 in the same sentence. Which means he said in the same sentence he's 94 AND 112. What an idiot.
People are intentionally funny sometimes. The funniest thing I've ever heard was when a group of us were in Dire Maul in WoW, and our warlock/mage (whichever one does mind control) mind controlled one of those satyr things. He'd done mind control before but the thing he'd been controlling had always died in the subsequent battle, and this was the first time one had ever survived. He didn't know whether to hang onto him and risk mind control wearing off at a bad time or whether to just remove mc and kill a good 'pet'. We discussed this for a while and then someone suggested taking him out into the forest and releasing him into his natural habitat.
I forgot something here. The same guy was also playing the Inspector Gadget theme song. We were singing to that, too.REDPill357 said:
I was on xbox live in a pre game lobby and just as I entered I heard someone say "just becuase I like balls in my face doesnt make me gay". I thought it was hilarious.
This was a great moment of what I would call "American Ignorance". Now I know not all American are of course ignorant for I have met some and found them fun to play with but some are definatly ignorant. So I mention that I'm Canadian on Halo 2 when me and a few friends and friends of friends are getting out of that snowy map. Let me quote most of what he said.
Me: Ya, I'm Canadian.
A: Canadian!? That would explain why you're so much of a PUSSY!
Me: So we're not like you gun-waving Southerners who's only word you can say is "WAR!"
A: Well at least I'm not some pussy who's country wasn't even in WWII!
Me: Are you a retard? You are making a convincing case for it.
A: You're a retard!
Me: Have you ever heard of Juno beach?
A: What the hell is that?
Me: It's one of the Normandy Beaches, the one Canada took.
A: What the fuck are they teaching you up there!
Me: What the hell are they teaching you down there! Look it up!
A: FINE! DAD, LOOK UP JUNO BEACH ON GOOGLE!
A short pause
A: Oh... There WAS a Juno beach... Oh...
Me: See?
A: Well... YOU'RE STILL A PUSSY!
He then left the game with me and my friends laughing our asses off at him.
Me: Ya, I'm Canadian.
A: Canadian!? That would explain why you're so much of a PUSSY!
Me: So we're not like you gun-waving Southerners who's only word you can say is "WAR!"
A: Well at least I'm not some pussy who's country wasn't even in WWII!
Me: Are you a retard? You are making a convincing case for it.
A: You're a retard!
Me: Have you ever heard of Juno beach?
A: What the hell is that?
Me: It's one of the Normandy Beaches, the one Canada took.
A: What the fuck are they teaching you up there!
Me: What the hell are they teaching you down there! Look it up!
A: FINE! DAD, LOOK UP JUNO BEACH ON GOOGLE!
A short pause
A: Oh... There WAS a Juno beach... Oh...
Me: See?
A: Well... YOU'RE STILL A PUSSY!
He then left the game with me and my friends laughing our asses off at him.