Games as my dad describes them.

[Spider RedNight]

So there's this guy who's in a crash and he drowns or something or swims to the bottom of the.... Pacific ocean? I forget which one it is and there's these guys with hooks and masks and they try to kill you because there's this magical life-juice-stuff that gives you awesome powers and evil shit goes down.

Spoiler

Bioshock

You play as this soldier guy who travels around the universe trying to make friends with everyone so they can all band together against this guy who doesn't LIKE friendship and he tries to take over the world and crap. The moral of the story is friendship, right?

Spoiler

Mass Effect

Oh, OH. How about this one game, where there's that one guy, and he got a letter and he went to that town because the letter told him to and, like, there's monsters but he used to vacation there and he's wondering why he's not scared and stuff, and then this one monster rapes another monster and he's okay with it. I remember that part.

Spoiler

Silent Hill 2

I'm really bad at this game. xD

 

[Macgyvercas]

Hmm. Seems fun, so I'll give it a go.

You're like, this kid genius or something who gets marrooned an Mars or something, and needs to use a pogo stick to get past aliens and get home. Then you need to, like, go to their planet and kill them or something.

Spoiler

Commander Keen

Hope I did that right.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

You're this scientist guy, and you're doing some science when aliens come out of nowhere, and the army shows up and tries to kill you for some reason.

Spoiler

Half-Life.

You're a guy, and you're stuck in a desert and you're looking for treasure but first you have to collect a million billion guns from Jason Voorhees' extended family.

Spoiler

Borderlands.

 

[The]

So there are all these psychopaths on two teams who have to fight each other by stealing briefcases, pushing a nuclear bomb, and standing on a metal glowy circle. When they're not fighting, they like to model all of these wacky clothes and trade scraps of metal.

Spoiler

Team Fortress 2

 

[lacktheknack]

So there's this kid, and he's all naked and running around crying as blobs of unadulterated body horror try to kill him. And it hasn't created a Fox News frenzy.

Binding of Isaac.

There's also this game series where nothing happens and you wander around looking at things and solving environment puzzles, and it's really lonely.

Myst series.

 

[rbstewart7263]

Ok theres this one game where you wack people with what looks like a smoking pipe, and your friend whos fat gets naked and eats cakes and then theres this giant robot version of you and stuff and its from japan so its weird.

Spoiler

Mystical ninja goemon

[/quote]

who got it?lol

 

[Dead Seerius]

You are this... uh. What the hell are you? It doesn't look like anything, an alien I guess? And you appear to do nothing except fall down pits and contemplate suicide.

Spoiler

E.T. the Game

 

[D-Soul]

You play as some guy in a white robot suit that he goes around with rockets in his butt sliding everywhere shooting bad robots and always stop for a smoke and has a big old guy with a robot arm that might transforms into a minigun (I think)

Spoiler

Vanquish

 

[Godhead]

You're this guy but you're not really him, and he's an asshole so he gets stabbed. But he wakes up after being stabbed and he like has to go and kill some guys or something and then he's not an asshole anymore.

Spoiler

Assassin's Creed

 

[jdogtwodolla]

Y'know, you fight goblins and monsters.
Your the white guy. The one that's a werewolf. And some thing is around you.

Spoiler

Twilight princess

My dad would pause more than Obama trying to describe that.

 

[Rad Party God]

Where you, like, shoot stuff and it's all blurry and old, you can see the face of a guy down in the screen and there's these brown, spiky things shooting fireballs and you need to open lots of doors.

Spoiler: Pretty easy.

Doom

This game where you're a drug junkie who's plane crashed in the ocean and shoots lots of ugly guys to get your drug fix and you're so high you can even throw lightnings out of your hands. And there's creepy kids. And an overweight scubba diver with a drill following them.

Spoiler: Pretty easy too.

BioShock

 

[Jaeke]

So you're like this dude who wakes up on this ship, and then it almost like blows up so some dude who looks scared is like "Bro we gotta get off this ship that almost blew up" so you escape from the ship that almost blew up and then you find Angelina Jolie and then do other stuff.

Spoiler: hint

There's a badass robot in a desert

Spoiler

Knights of the Old Republic

 

[Jaeke]

Y'know, you fight goblins and monsters.
Your the white guy. The one that's a werewolf. And some thing is around you.

Spoiler

Twilight princess

My dad would pause more than Obama trying to describe that.

ZIIING!

That one was pretty easy btw

 

[The_Lost_King]

You're like, some sort of special person in a land you don't know. Only at first you don't look like much, dressed in shitty clothes and all. So you have to find this guy in another city who might have some answers as to your situation.

Spoiler

TES III: Morrowind

You do realize that that is EVERY RPG IN EXISTENCE!

So something bad happens and you get inducted into this special order. Then you go around helping people and save the world

Spoiler

Dragon Age: Origins. I was going for the Every Bioware game in existence

Except that my dad would actually describe it the way that it should because he actually plays games.

 

[Alternative]

Yeah, my dad doesn't get games. Or anything more recent than grunge music.

Well that just makes me feel old.

On topic though

"Whats this gay nerdy shit. Why dont you pull your head out of your ass and stop living in fantasy land"

Spoiler

Any game im playing when he visits

 

[Darren716]

It's this game where as you play as some guy who lives in this fantasy village but then he becomes a wolf for some reason.

Spoiler

Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess

 

[Pebkio]

Well, you start off as someone in a dungeon. Then you escape with the help of this one guy who seems important but then dies right away. Then you have to go on a quest that's not explained very well. You can loot the bodies you find or buy things at a store. It's got a stamina meter. You can use a sword or magic or a bow. There are factions you can join. You have to fight demons.

There are orange messages on the floor.

Dark Souls

 

[SirPlindington]

You're this awful murderer who stabs people all the time and shoots them in the head. It makes your soul black and evil.

Spoiler

Dishonored

My Dad's exact words. Seriously. I love the man, but he does not understand video games.

 

[Patrick Buck]

You're this really depressed drunk dude, who keeps narrating his own life, and blaming himself for things that weren't his fault, and then shoots a bunch of dudes while diving through the air and landing and dislocating both your shoulders.

Spoiler

Max Payne 3

Too obvious?