Games that should never be a film

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ThaBenMan

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I can never help but be optimistic whenever I hear about a movie adaptation of a game I like, so a Half-Life, God of War, or Mass Effect movie all sound like awesome ideas to me, even though I should expect shit. Hopefully they would at least be like the Silent Hill movie, pretty decent.

And btw, that Zelda trailer had me going before I noticed it was posted April 1st. That had pretty damn good production value for a prank.
 

Dalisclock

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Apparently, Uwe Boll tried to buy the rights to make a bioshock movie a few months ago. Fortunatly, the Bioshock people have heard of him and said no.

Frankly, I wonder why anyone would sell him the rights to anything, let alone a game like bioshock.
 

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J-Val said:
Am I the only one who actually enjoyed Final Fantasy: Spirits Within?

And personally, Halo would make the worst movie ever. Considering the plot basically consists of "Aliens + Guns = Win", it would be the most pappy, cheesy action flick ever concocted.
I liked Final Fantasy: Spirits Within. It wasn't great, I liked it.

And the problem with Halo is that it's already been made. Twice.

The first time it was called "Aliens". The second time "Starship Troopers".
 

Dectilon

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Sep 20, 2007
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Game movies aren't doomed to be crappy from the offset, it's just that one of two things happen:

Either they have some weird idea that the movie has to stay as close to the game as possible, which automatically makes it crap because no matter what type of game it is, a game needs lots of padding between story elements, most of which is tedious, silly or both (from a story perspective).
Or, the director (see Alien vs Predator for example) decides that the original game script isn't action-y enough (yes, action-y, because it's stupid) with all the gameplay cut out, or too long, so they write their own script based on... well, nothing really. AvP is such a mound of steaming, oozing excrement that it's hard to understand how even a monkey punching random keys on a keyboard could write something so incomprehensible.

There's a general concensus in Hollywood (or at least there seems to be one) that gamers is a demographic of stupid lil' kids who are too stupid to understand anything more complicated than a Bond villain who want 80% of the screen time to be gory action. Then again, there ARE people who argue that the plot in... Resident Evil say, is brilliant, so maybe they're right.

My point is that if a serious writer made a serious attempt to write a movie script, using the source material as more of a backdrop than Da Law, and a serious director was brought in then I do think it would be possible to film... I dunno, BioShock say, and make it at least a 3-star movie.

That said, with the present concencus, BioShock shouldn't be made a movie : P

"Am I the only one who actually enjoyed Final Fantasy: Spirits Within?"

It was an incredibly cheesy movie, with annoying stereotype characters, a ridiculous dialog and a plot so bad it could bruise fruit. It had one saving grace in James Woods' General Hein, the only person who felt like actually acting a little.
 

bad rider

The prodigal son of a goat boy
Dec 23, 2007
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spirits within and advent children owned despite the fact spirits within almost bankrupted them the movies where great oh yeah please dont make a movie about solitare please i would kill myself halfway through
 

SimpleReally

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my problem with spirits within is it has the name final fantasy next to it to milk the fans, i dare anyone to name any real similarities between the movie and the games
 

Horizontalvertigo

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"In a world of high stakes gambling, of fast woman and even faster cars, a new craze has hit the dangerous world of Las Vegas. Whats it called? Solitaire."
 

PedroSteckecilo

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Feb 7, 2008
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The Spirits Within would have been okay Sci-Fi had they not tacked the FF logo onto it, that alienated regular movie-goers and pissed off gamers because we expected something different. I still say Advent Children is nothing more than FFVII fan wank though.

In fact, studios should avoid RPG's in general.

I'm in favor of Zelda being made into a movie, why? Because baring all of the Temple Hopping, Ocarina of Time and/or Twilight Princess both have pretty amusing plots that could easily be condensed into a 120/150 Minute movie.

Overall though there is no real reason to make a Legend of Zelda movie, I mean, Zelda's shining points are its puzzles, not its story.
 

innocent42

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I actually wouldn't mind a Half-Life movie, so long as it didn't reuse stuff covered in any of the games. The Seven Hour War springs to mind as a fertile place to make the film. Gordon is in stasis, so we don't have to deal with a crowbar-swinging mute, and the actual events of the war could be depicted at something like a 2-1 time ratio (no, I don't mean the movie should be shown at double speed. :p) Still, the Seven Hour war would make a better game than movie no matter what. In fact, seven hours is just about the right length for one of those episodes Valve is so into these days...
 

Apone

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Chilango2 said:
Minesweeper.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1770138
Thank-you, that was damn funny.

I don't think movie cross overs ever work.
And they're not doing Halo anymore. Peter Jackson is working on a series of interactive half game half movie things with Bungie set in the Halo "universe". No idea what thats gunna be like... cept over hyped.
 

Amoena

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I can't remember how old I was when Spirits Within came out, all I know is that my favorite movies at the time was The Last Unicorn and Poltergeist, and I could still tell that Spirits Within was a really really bad movie. I was mostly disappointed that it wasn't actually based on any of the games, but other than that the plot just sucked, the characters were annoying. But I think they learned from their mistakes with Advent Children, they based it on a game, and I still don't know what to think in terms of plot and good acting because I was just blown away on how pretty it was at times.

I'm looking forward to the Resident Evil CGI movie, and I'm hoping to god that if they do another Silent Hill movie, they'll base it on Silent Hill Two. It could turn out bad, but if they pull it off, it would be just awesomeness. I think Soul Calibur would be good only if its an anime or cgi movie. I hope they never make a Dead Or Alive movie, a World of Warcraft movie, or another Tomb Raider >.<
 

Scammy

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Dec 15, 2007
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I heard someone say Half Life, and I think it would work. But it'd have to be just Ravenholm, really, for it to work. The rest of the game added in would just make it too widespread in the areas you'd have to explore in just two to three hours.

One game I'd never want to see is Bioshock. The way the game is designed, it only works if you're in the driver's seat. Watching someone else run around through the same locales wouldn't be quite as captivating. Many FPS games would lose their best qualities by being shot 3rd person.
 

Melaisis

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I've watched this thread since its creation and waited for a fitting time when I could post the following. Now its three pages in, however, I feel like its quite an opportune moment:

?Games don?t need movies!?

Movies need games, though.

Think about it.

You're a studio with a whole team of actors, casters, set producers and animators, just sitting around. No place to go because the forbidden den known as the 'Writers' Room' to some and 'Hell on Earth' to others has become so overloaded by pizza crusts and visits from Beelzebub that there's not a creative mind in the house. What better way to get all these people up and working again than to gain the licence for a game-into-movie. After all, most of these games must have good plots; otherwise people wouldn't play them, right? Plus you have the audience already there who are fans of the original game, and finally a whole, working, visual model upon which to base any ideas on.

We play games to interact with the story, certainly. But personally, I am one of those guys who prefers an exceedingly linear, nicely-scripted plot (HL2, Portal, Bioshock to an extent) compared to one which allows meaningless playtime sucked up into 'free-roaming environments' which fail to accomplish little but add to frustration with irate side-quests and shallow NPCs (STALKER, Oblivion). At the end of the day, I play the vast majority of my collection for the great (albeit faux) character interaction in which the scene is giving the impression of presenting to me as a player. Of course at the end of the day, I'm still being pulled along on a very thick rope to a goal which is imminent and final. But I still have fun on the way by being literally that bit personal with the unravelling drama.

Films based on games are for people like me; true listeners to the story. The problem with movies being used as an alternate medium to connote the message originally put out on the former format is this: It lacks that level of satisfaction and does not provide enough time for the finer details to be appreciated. We all loved the credits of Final Fantasy 8 because you've just spent the last thirty hours of your own life using and learning about those characters whose respective tales are now concluding. I certainly absorbed more of Eli Vance's death sequence in Episode Two of the Half Life saga (sorry for the spoiler if you've been hiding under a rock for the past three months) because of the epic battle that preceded it. Plot and development has always been a way of rewarding players and forcing them to go on just that little bit further with the game. It?s like getting that special text once a week from your beloved. Admittedly you over-analyse and try to gauge some sort of hidden meaning from between the words futility, but it is this patience which is finally praised with story.

Movies are your reward for paying the guy at the counter six pounds for a ticket into the screen and watching a few opening adverts.

A passive relationship with the world does not make for a tale as epic as a (synthetic) interaction with the situation. That?s the simple difference between the film industry and gaming. Unfortunately, Hollywood is more than willing to shave off a few parts of the whole experience in order to cash-in on an already established success. Somewhat ironically, when gaming companies try to reverse this and profit from the other?s fortune (Cough, EA), it tends to flop. Spiderman 2 and Knights of the Old Republic (i.e, Star Wars) are the only two examples I can think of whereby the videogame didn?t turn into some sort of storytelling nightmare, despite many others having a much firmer plot to build a game around from the existence of a motion picture.

Which is mainly why game should not be based from their inferior medium, regardless of how quick the cash comes pouring in when such a marketing tactic is taken. We are witnessing the decline of an ageing art and the rise of the new here, not vice versa.

3scapism plug! [http://3scapism.com]
 

Redarmy238

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Mar 26, 2008
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The Elder scrolls series.......(might be good, if directed by anyone else but Uwe)
Rainbow Six
Army of Two
Turok
Bioshock
Team fortress
Counter Strike
Sins of a solar empire
Return to castle Wolfienstien/ original wolfienstien
Duke nukem ( the movie would be out on blue ray before the game lol)
Pychonaughts


The list goes on and I cant be bothered typing it any more.
 

racoon39

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Mar 25, 2008
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i dont like video game movies but its a sign of a sort.it means the game is now more popular than GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

RufusMcLaser

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Mar 27, 2008
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It's as if the things that make a good movie are diametrically opposed to a good game. The list of crappy video game movies is so long as to not be worth mentioning; and the list of crappy movie tie-in games is equally long. It just doesn't work.
That in mind, all of my favorites (Civ, a ton of RTS and sim titles, and plenty of FPSs) are completely and obviously wrong as movie fodder. So... Yeah. Every game I enjoy, really.
One thing many games have working against them is that the action, if it focuses on a character at all, is centered on one and only one person.
 

bad rider

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Dec 23, 2007
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i was tired when i wrote this re reading it has made me realise i shouldnt post at 1 in the morning