Gaming Romances that just don't work

[ShotgunSmoke]

Unlike the PARAGON dialogue line for a romancing option for Miranda. ("Love? I just want to get you into bed" YEah I know it's a joke but come on.)

That's why I love Shepard/Miranda so much. They have an insane attraction between them, not the lovey-dovey Tali romance stuff. They're both teasing each other. I love how their sex scene doesn't contain any dialogue, they don't need words. They kinda love each other, just not in a OMG CUDDLE sort of way.

And just so you know, Paragon responses don't always give the nicest results.

OT : I hate Drake/Elen, throughout Uncharted 2 I was hoping she would die in a fire. Chloe is awesome.

 

[Vrex360]

Well if I had to pick the ones that did work it would be the Shepard/Ashley romance in Mass Effect (staying faithful, thanks) and possibly the shall we say emotional bond between the Cheif and Cortana.

As for ones that don't work, the main and most obvious one is Isaac Clarke's from Dead Space. I personally think that little flashback cinematics explaing the history of his and Nicole's relationship all the way up until that point would have helped flesh it out a little, after all she apologises for something that apparently hurt Isaac quite deeply, I had assumed along the line I'd find out what that 'something' was but we never do, hence the relationship aspect feels kind of lacking in terms of a real bond.
For instance when Isaac is finally in the room with Nicole he should run up and hold her tightly, not just stare dumbly, that said his reaction when he learned the truth at the end was quite genuine.

 

[Always_Remain]

Unlike the PARAGON dialogue line for a romancing option for Miranda. ("Love? I just want to get you into bed" YEah I know it's a joke but come on.)

That's why I love Shepard/Miranda so much. They have an insane attraction between them, not the lovey-dovey Tali romance stuff. They're both teasing each other. I love how their sex scene doesn't contain any dialogue, they don't need words. They kinda love each other, just not in a OMG CUDDLE sort of way.

And just so you know, Paragon responses don't always give the nicest results.

OT : I hate Drake/Elen, throughout Uncharted 2 I was hoping she would die in a fire. Chloe is awesome.

I've played through it twice as a paragon. I think i know it doesn't always give the nicest results. Miranda is okay, definitely better then Jack or Ashley. OH and Liara since they ruined her character. (although her change is understandable)

 

[CargoHold]

Eurgh, I'm sick of romances for the sake of romances. (If they're important narrative elements like in Grim Fandango or Monkey Island, it's great.) Though I feel at least that they seem to be growing less frequent- AC1 and 2 didn't really have any, nor did Prototype or Bioshock or Nirror's Edge or other games that I've really enjoyed.

 

[AngryPuppy]

I didn't hate the Tidus and Yuna romance, but damn did the voice acting in that game make me want to cry.

Garrus and Female Shepard however I really hated. He's a lizard, I just can't get past it, sorry.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I basically hate every game romance except for the Prince and Farah in The Sands of Time.

Also, the romances in Mass Effect 1 and 2 are probably the worst of all.

 

[DoctorObviously]

I've never been a fan of romance but I find them in games often enough (especially in JRPG). I try to ignore it for the most part but sometimes I find romance to be added for the sake of romance and comes out feeling forced.

I'm curious if anyone else feels the same about this subject matter and what could possibly be the worst couple in a game.

Indeed, I find that nearly every single romance in a video game is forced, mostly because a video game has a purpose of letting off steam.

 

[Erja_Perttu]

I've got to hand it to Squall and Rinoa in FFVIII, who make a star example of two people ending up together because the developers said they should, and for no other reason.

Oh god yes. I've got no idea why those two had to get together. I know opposites are meant to attract and all, but they had nothing in common, not to mention that for most of the damned game she was unconscious.

 

[Jenova65]

Ashley Williams in Mass Effect 1. Nothing down there at all. Drake's broad...most really.

On the contrary, Tali's romance in ME2 touched me almost as much as my real life romance.

I'm going to have to disagree with you, there. I loved Tali's dialogue so much, it was almost perfect because I had waited all of Mass Effect the first to romance her, and then waited until I had filled up paragon for her loyalty quest before I got her in Mass Effect the second and then...was incredibly disappointed because of the male Shepherd's voice acting. The guy just can NOT do tenderness, he's much more suited to angry yelling. All of the scenes of them together just seemed stilted and awkward, they had no romantic chemistry at all.
There's one scene where he comforts her and says 'hey, c'mere' softly and i literally winced. It was really disappointing, she easily has the best, most human dialogue in the entire series. It's fresh in my mind as I did her romance plot all last night. Bleh

Fem Shep isn't much better. Every time she tried to be seductive, she sounded like a lecherous woman to me. I don't know why, but I felt like I was playing a female version of Leisure Suit Larry half the time. It totally ruined that part of the game for me. I know some people really like that voice actor, and I thought she was great when she was just doing her commander thing, but when she started acting seductive, it was just... icky.

They made her really pervy this time round it was 'uncomfortable', shall we say! Put me right off.
The relationship with Kaiden in ME was subtly done, I felt and his response to Shepard working with Cerberus is entirely in character they did it right imo, how was he supposed to react after spending two years grieving? Of course he is gonna be pissed, from his point of view she was dead then it turns out she isn't and she is working for the people who killed Kahoku and did a whole mess of evil experiments, and are terrorists (don't think I need to list their crimes, if you played ME you know what they did) So after his first gut reaction to hold Shepard he goes with a knee jerk reaction to be hurt/mad because he thinks she's been alive and chose not to let him know. Following on from this first meeting he has time to digest the things she said to him and time to allow himself to 'feel', his feelings and he knows he still loves her and wants her. I'm not sure why so many players are upset with this turn of events it sure leaves it wide open for ME3 and I really hope they follow through if you are faithful. It is good writing if you are of a patient disposition

 

[AnimeMan127]

The worst romance plot in a game I can think of off the top of my head is Sonic and Elise plus Bayonetta and the dude with the scarf (I can't remember his name).

 

[lSHaDoW-FoXl]

Snip.

Here's an old and perhaps obscure one for you - Red faction 2,Tangier and the main character. (who's name I forgot) Nothing was developed for either of them and I personally didn't give a shit because the main character was one of the utmost un interesting things I ever saw.

I also hated on how any character that didn't suck ended up dying like Quill or echo.

 

[Hellz_Barz]

Nero and Kyrie from DMC 4. I'll also give special mention to Raiden and Rose from MGS 2 oh christ what a bunch of whiny cunts

Really? I digged the nero and kyrie one heaps, Probably cause i got a thing for reds. Another one i liked was between Zack and Aerith in crisis core. As for a failure i'd have to go with Edge and Reimi from star ocean last hope. their dialogue just made me wanna commit murder.

 

[damselgaming]

Most if not all Final Fantasy romances. I didn't mind 9's as much, but I'm a bit biased because it's my favourite one.

I loved the Sora/Kairi one in KH at the time, looking back though it was a bit overblown, they were like 14.

I loved the Naked Snake/ Eva interaction in MGS3, I don't know how romance-y it could be counted as though.

 

[WorthlessSix]

Fem Shepard in ME1 may not have come across quite as much like a butch if Kaiden wasn't such a pussy... At one point in the game you have toss him over your shoulder to carry his sissy ass back to the Normandy because, I don't know, I guess he broke a nail, I didn't see him get hurt...
Their whole relationship sort of reminded me like caveman romance. Like Shepard knocked him over the head with a club and was carrying him back to her cave XD

 

[AboveUp]

The romance with Ashley Williams in ME1. I chose her during my first play through. She's a xenophobic ***** who's personality never changes at all. She starts out a racist and ends a racist.

Spoiler

Then when you end up with Cerberus, the human supremacists, she acts like she suddenly loves aliens and thinks you're going too far! Throughout the entire conversation she's just bitching about how awful you are for working with them!

Glad I wasn't the only one who noticed this. I barely recognized her as a character in ME2.

JRPGs tend to be terrible. They always want to thrown one in, no matter how badly it fits there. Plus all the girls the main character goes for tend to be the same whiny, holy, white wearing character. It's usually the one character I wish could be cut out of the entire game.

 

[mexicola]

Nero and Kyrie from DMC4, yes I get it he had to have some sort of motivation for slaughtering legions of demons but the execution was just so awful imo. But then again we weren't there for romancing it's DMC dammit, give me a sword and point me in the right direction!

Oh and on a different: notice It will be nice if they reveal Tali's face in ME3 and it turns out quarians look gross like turians or some such.

 

[Meggiepants]

Fem Shep isn't much better. Every time she tried to be seductive, she sounded like a lecherous woman to me. I don't know why, but I felt like I was playing a female version of Leisure Suit Larry half the time. It totally ruined that part of the game for me. I know some people really like that voice actor, and I thought she was great when she was just doing her commander thing, but when she started acting seductive, it was just... icky.

They made her really pervy this time round it was 'uncomfortable', shall we say! Put me right off.

Seriously, this is no joke. And the options for her dialog? I mean, I know she doesn't say the same things as the choices on the screen but "I want you" ?!? I did watch some of the youtubes of Male Shep though. He doesn't even rise to the level of pervy. He's somewhere between a plank of wood and a dead fish.

The relationship with Kaiden in ME was subtly done, I felt and his response to Shepard working with Cerberus is entirely in character they did it right imo, how was he supposed to react after spending two years grieving? Of course he is gonna be pissed, from his point of view she was dead then it turns out she isn't and she is working for the people who killed Kahoku and did a whole mess of evil experiments, and are terrorists (don't think I need to list their crimes, if you played ME you know what they did) So after his first gut reaction to hold Shepard he goes with a knee jerk reaction to be hurt/mad because he thinks she's been alive and chose not to let him know. Following on from this first meeting he has time to digest the things she said to him and time to allow himself to 'feel', his feelings and he knows he still loves her and wants her. I'm not sure why so many players are upset with this turn of events it sure leaves it wide open for ME3 and I really hope they follow through if you are faithful. It is good writing if you are of a patient disposition

I get that, I really do. But it was still a little jarring for me. My biggest problem with this break-up isn't what he said or why he said it, it's the way the programmers reward you for being faithful to Kaidan. Looking longingly at his picture wasn't enough for me. I kept expecting another message. Anything would have been nice. Hell, he could have said "Good luck, I hope you don't die," and I think I would have been fine with that. Well, mostly fine anyway. Sigh. I guess I really don't handle rejection well at all. Even imaginary rejection. I am hoping they do something in ME3, but I have two Sheps, just in case they drop the ball. But you are right, the writing is good. That's why people get so upset about it. It's too real to them. (See, I said them, not me...


OT: I ended up liking Kaidan better than the new ones, but I don't think that was because they were bad. They just weren't as developed. I thought Thane had an excellent story, but it was hard to get interested when they only gave three conversations with the guy before he suddenly decides you're the one. It's been about 6 months since I played ME, and I play a lot of games so they tend to blur together, but I seem to recall quite a lot of dialog between him and Shep. If Thane had that much back story, I think I would have enjoyed the romance with him just as much. Romance can't be rushed. Even Alistair knows that.

 

[JeanLuc761]

Also, the romances in Mass Effect 1 and 2 are probably the worst of all.

What? What's wrong with you? -smack-

OT: Dead Space's "romance" was about as gripping as the greased up deaf guy. I don't give a crap about his love interest, I'm shooting aliens!

Dom and Maria from Gears of War 2...it wasn't terrible but it certainly didn't have much impact on me. Unfulfilled greatness I suppose.

Any romance in any Grand Theft Auto game. Seriously, what?

 

[Jenova65]

Fem Shep isn't much better. Every time she tried to be seductive, she sounded like a lecherous woman to me. I don't know why, but I felt like I was playing a female version of Leisure Suit Larry half the time. It totally ruined that part of the game for me. I know some people really like that voice actor, and I thought she was great when she was just doing her commander thing, but when she started acting seductive, it was just... icky.

They made her really pervy this time round it was 'uncomfortable', shall we say! Put me right off.

Seriously, this is no joke. And the options for her dialog? I mean, I know she doesn't say the same things as the choices on the screen but "I want you" ?!? I did watch some of the youtubes of Male Shep though. He doesn't even rise to the level of pervy. He's somewhere between a plank of wood and a dead fish.

The relationship with Kaiden in ME was subtly done, I felt and his response to Shepard working with Cerberus is entirely in character they did it right imo, how was he supposed to react after spending two years grieving? Of course he is gonna be pissed, from his point of view she was dead then it turns out she isn't and she is working for the people who killed Kahoku and did a whole mess of evil experiments, and are terrorists (don't think I need to list their crimes, if you played ME you know what they did) So after his first gut reaction to hold Shepard he goes with a knee jerk reaction to be hurt/mad because he thinks she's been alive and chose not to let him know. Following on from this first meeting he has time to digest the things she said to him and time to allow himself to 'feel', his feelings and he knows he still loves her and wants her. I'm not sure why so many players are upset with this turn of events it sure leaves it wide open for ME3 and I really hope they follow through if you are faithful. It is good writing if you are of a patient disposition

I get that, I really do. But it was still a little jarring for me. My biggest problem with this break-up isn't what he said or why he said it, it's the way the programmers reward you for being faithful to Kaidan. Looking longingly at his picture wasn't enough for me. I kept expecting another message. Anything would have been nice. Hell, he could have said "Good luck, I hope you don't die," and I think I would have been fine with that. Well, mostly fine anyway. Sigh. I guess I really don't handle rejection well at all. Even imaginary rejection. I am hoping they do something in ME3, but I have two Sheps, just in case they drop the ball. But you are right, the writing is good. That's why people get so upset about it. It's too real to them. (See, I said them, not me...


OT: I ended up liking Kaidan better than the new ones, but I don't think that was because they were bad. They just weren't as developed. I thought Thane had an excellent story, but it was hard to get interested when they only gave three conversations with the guy before he suddenly decides you're the one. It's been about 6 months since I played ME, and I play a lot of games so they tend to blur together, but I seem to recall quite a lot of dialog between him and Shep. If Thane had that much back story, I think I would have enjoyed the romance with him just as much. Romance can't be rushed. Even Alistair knows that.

I agree it would have been nice to get another message, but I am sure the BioWare team (maybe Casey Hudson?) has stated that there will be follow up on the whole faithful to/cheated on first love. Kaiden and all of the ME characters are more 'fleshy', imo than the noobs.
That said, I too have two saves (so far) one with Thane, even though I know it can't last, but hell if he isn't the sexiest male in ME2! His voice, his charm, his charisma *sighs a bit* I also know what you mean regarding the build up in 2, maybe they want you to see that it is a bit shallow? It felt more realistic in the first, now it seems like Shepard is a bit of a dog iyswim.
And as for Alistair, well everyone knows that Alistair is damn near perfect (Jeez, but I love that crazy bastard heir to the throne............ *swoons a lot*) Some great writing by BioWare there, especially if you are patient enough to wait for him to initiate the inevitable!

 

[Jenova65]

Ashley Williams in Mass Effect 1. Nothing down there at all. Drake's broad...most really.

On the contrary, Tali's romance in ME2 touched me almost as much as my real life romance.

I'm going to have to disagree with you, there. I loved Tali's dialogue so much, it was almost perfect because I had waited all of Mass Effect the first to romance her, and then waited until I had filled up paragon for her loyalty quest before I got her in Mass Effect the second and then...was incredibly disappointed because of the male Shepherd's voice acting. The guy just can NOT do tenderness, he's much more suited to angry yelling. All of the scenes of them together just seemed stilted and awkward, they had no romantic chemistry at all.
There's one scene where he comforts her and says 'hey, c'mere' softly and i literally winced. It was really disappointing, she easily has the best, most human dialogue in the entire series. It's fresh in my mind as I did her romance plot all last night. Bleh

Fem Shep isn't much better. Every time she tried to be seductive, she sounded like a lecherous woman to me. I don't know why, but I felt like I was playing a female version of Leisure Suit Larry half the time. It totally ruined that part of the game for me. I know some people really like that voice actor, and I thought she was great when she was just doing her commander thing, but when she started acting seductive, it was just... icky.

Exactly. The VAs are really good at being badasses, but once it comes time to romance it's just...awkward and, as you said, icky.
Actually female shepherd sounded really butch in the first ME, I was glad she had the option of a lesbian romance. The fact that she looked like something out of Walking with the Dinosaurs didn't really help

Hahaha! So true. I tried to make fem Shep look good, but they made it really hard in ME. I think it had something to do with the fact that they had to animate the character talking, so you were limited on how customizable you could make her look. No matter what I did, she always ended up looking like the same character once she was animated.

MY Shepard is always pretty cos I keep at it til I'm happy with her face ;-)