Generic RPG, a Parody RP (Permanently Closed)

[Anarchemitis]

Skullivan took a few steps towards the rat, standing frozen in space with glistening bits of frost crusting over every edge of the creature.
> Attack
> Magic
> Use Item
> Flee

Choose Magic

> Pan Strike
> Pan Throw
> Punch
> Helmet Whack

Choose Target
> Rat A
"CLONG!"
"I should think that the Rat King is a pretty high level monster. Much higher than any of us- unless there are other ways of getting rid of him apart from fighting."

 

[spartan1077]

Misa turned to him.
"You're so brilliant" she flirted "but I think with 5 or 6 or 7 or however many there are of us can take them...4 people have taken down that Sin thingy in that one world with all the balls and water"
She turned back to Rat A (a.k.a THAT DAMN RAT THAT KEEPS HITTING ME!) and laughed. She knelt down at its frozen body and tried to figure out if it was dead. She ignored the copy because it seemed to be more of a failure.

 

[Lambi]

Rat A froze when Misa used her Freeze attack and when Skullivan's pan hit it, it shattered into many pieces, and the copy disappeared. Misa and Skullivan gained 2 XP each, both now needed 394 XP to reach level 2.

No more rats seemed to be coming for the moment, so the party would decide to go to the nearest basement. It says so in the script.
...
Obey the script!

 

[spartan1077]

Misa looked up to the clouds and then looked down at a little note she had on her desktop arm.
"Umm, mr or mrs Narrator...I only need 392XP" she said cautiously, not wanting to anger the gods of this world. But before she got an answer she looked around the party and licked her lips.
"Anyone have ale? Or beer? Or any type of alcohol?" she asked loudly, becoming increasingly thirsty in her cold shield.
Looking at her note again, she saw she was incorrect and looked up at the sky again.
"Sorry, you're right." she said happily.

 

[Anarchemitis]

> Attack
> Magic
> Use Item
> Flee

Choose SubMenu
> Items
> Tools
> Conjure
> Shop

Choose Item

> Ultra Spicy Soup in Sauce Pot (Full 5/5)

• [Friendly use] Heals for 15, +100% Ice Defense Bonus for 60 seconds, Reverses Ice Damage up to 30
  [Enemy use] +85% Fire Attack Bonus against target for 60 seconds

> Vanilla Wafer (x4)
> Rare Wine "Delio Trilo Port Vintage #2"
> Super-Duper Potion

Choose Target
> Skullivan
> Misa [+]
> Freeze
> Xandus
> Jackrum

Skullivan extracted from his skull-sized helmet a large watermelon-sized soup pot filled with a steaming, gloriously orange delicious looking fluid with various bits of savory things and chucks of meatballs in it. It smelled of basil and something slightly waxy but sharp that one couldn't quite put their finger on. Skullivan pulled a ladel out from the helmet and served a scoop of the soup, handing the toasty laden ladel to Misa.
"Alchohol may make you feel like you're warm, but in reality it just makes heat go out to your fingers and arms, which makes you colder faster. It also gives a negative agility and dexterity bonus- and I intend not to make waste of my already stilted Cooking level."

Spoiler: OOC

I propose better/more awesome items have retro-esque prefixes, like Super, Super Duper, Better, Ultra, Ultimate, Great, Special, Awesome etc.)

 

[spartan1077]

Misa slurped the soup nosiily and smiled, the colour filling her cheeks.
"Too bad you don't have flesh" she said to Skullivan before showing him her dancing skills and turning around and walking towards the first house she saw.
"I don't care if it gives me negative anything, I love booze" she said, cracking her whip before putting it back in it's holster.

 

[Xero Scythe]

Jackrum pulled out a square metal container. He sloshed it around for a moment to see how much was in it, then tossed it to Misa. It had the words "Present for the Undead General" on it. "There. It's straight up Frostbite from Glacia though. Be careful- quite a few good men have gone under from a thimble full. And you do not want to know what goes into Frostbite." Grana heard the narrator. "Alright, alright, we'll follow the damn script." Jackrum muttered beneath his breath. He started to head into the basement before turning back to Misa. "Toss that thing back when you're done. And be careful- it's metal, but it was a gift." Grana walked into the basement, staring into the pitch. "Can't see a damn thing..." He muttered. He lit a match, then took a cigar out of his case and lit it, clenching the cigar between his teeth.

 

[spartan1077]

Misa looked down at the Frostbite and thought for a moment before following Jackrum into the basement. It sloshed around and some fell out on the ground while she walked. She looked back into the container and took a shot of it. She licked her lips and handed it back to Jackrum, thanking him in the process and looking around the basement.
"Doesn't seem like much" she commented before turning to Jackrum and winking "but you don't"

 

[Lambi]

Not everyone had arrived, though. There were still a few individuals who hadn't showed up. So, the ones that had arrived would wait until those last ones would arrive. The story was put on a hold except for those yet to arrive until everyone would be there.

Spoiler: OOC

A.k.a. I'm going to sleep and I don't want a lot of posts when I come back online. I'd like for the ones that haven't posted yet to post, and for those who are already posting to post maybe once or twice more before I come back, but no more.

 

[spartan1077]

Misa looked up the roof of the basement.
"How can I hear you still? No matter, I'll just try some moves on the guys here well this plot stops" she said, winking again at Jackrum and swaying her hips while she walks around in the basement.
That was some good frostbite
Misa sauntered around a little more, making sure everyone got a good look at her before turning to her minstrel who was not completely forgotten and just came as an afterthought.
"Minstrel, play some quest completetion music with a little tinge of upcoming boss battle in there while we wait" she demanded before walking around again.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Skullivan walked down into the basement, following the other two that had gone first. The room smelled anomalously fresh, like a rotting tree stump in a forest; silently decaying into clean and pure earth for the world to use willingly. Small bits of silverware lay wanton-scattered around the edges of the room alongside a broken chair and a bookshelf that had fallen over due to some long past scuffle with probably the first giant rats from a while ago. A window which looked out to street level, had been smashed and now was home to a small collection of cobwebs. The musky dark greenish ambience of the village outside did not lend itself to lighting the room very well.

> Attack
> Magic
> Use Item
> Flee

Choose SubMenu
> Items
> Tools
> Conjure
> Shop

Choose Conjure

> Small Light
> Cooking Fire
>
>

"Phillus Lacernium" spoke Skullivan, point at his hat. He lifted it, revealing a lit candle on a stand, resting comfortably on the top of his head. He put his hat back on as he took the candle and held it aloft, bathing the room in a soft, warm ivory glow.

 

[Fishtie]

A shadowy figure watched the group from a short distance. Watching them the figure licked it's lips quietly. Eventually the fighting stopped and the party descended into the basement out of view of the figure.

This caused the figure to drop from it's hiding place and scramble to where the rats now lay dead. The figure bent and cautiously lifted one of the dead rats by the tail and sniffed it closely. The rat definitely smelled like meat but the figure had smelt something much better from the group that had gone into the earth.

Carefully notching a stone-headed arrow into it's bow, the figure began to stalk down the stares after the group like a jaguar on the prowl.

 

[XThecommander]

"Why do I have the strange feeling i'm being watched, and also... I need some experience."
She said, walking down the stairs, one of the steps creaked, and she continued walking, turning towards the basement. She stopped cold, when she heard the exact same step creak, she whipped herself around, looking up the stairs, but she saw nothing.
"Strange... Also."
She pointed her staff up, and made a small flame appear on her staff, it gave the room a strange color, since it was a blue flame.
"Hey narrator, do we get any spell mastery points or something?"
She said, when she found a candle which was even had a little carrier.
Good, i'm not trusting myself with this flame.
She thought, as she held up the candle, and the jukebox upstairs played the item obtained music.
"What? No custom theme?"
She said, lighting the candle, and making the blue flame on her staff disappear. In theory, she should be able to have the blue flame last forever, but it would need to be in her range.

 

[MiMireille]

In every RPG there's a character that doesn't show up for several rounds, or several days, or even until the game is halfway over. Merle wasn't quite that late, but as the sun set behind First Village, silhouetting the corpses of about four dozen giant rats, she was beginning to suspect that the party and its leader she had been told to find had already moved on. As she re-read the scribed letter she'd received from no apparent source, something caught her eye as she walked through the tiny and seemingly deserted town - there was a glimmery splash of blood on the ground, and obviously still fresh.

"Someone's bleeding! Oh no, oh no oh no, the narrator's gonna hate me if I let anyone die before the game even gets going!"

Merle crouched down to inspect the droplets, careful to keep her white robes out of the dust and grime, and set off at a run once she could see which direction the trail of blood had gone. She jogged down the stairs to the basement, heedless of anyone she passed or was about to run into, raising her staff aloft and already calling up her options menu.

Menu
~Fight
~Item
~Magic
~Run

>>Spell:
~Heal
~Heal Moderate
~Heal Critical
~Heal All
~Antidote
~Cure Paralysis
~Clear Confusion
~Cure Vertigo
~Cure Blindness

>>Target:
~Select Ally
~All Allies
~All in Range

This was a wide-area spell that could recover 10HP per target per level of caster. Since Merle had been redacted to level 1 along with everyone else, this meant everyone only gained up to 10HP. Merle had not taken into account just how many people could possibly be around, and was only thinking to reach as far as she could in case she was going in the wrong direction. ... Good thing there's unlimited mana in this quest! The effort of such a far-reaching spell might have otherwise made her faint.

 

[Lost In The Void]

Jamie walked at the border of the village. It was of course, just like Jamie to be stuck at yet another generic village; it wasn't enough being born at "Generic Mining Village #6" now it was time to explore another one. This meant nothing in the search for Jamie's parents, nothing at all; it was all pointless, why even be narrated here if there was nothing to solve in that one mystery that kept Jamie going through the hopeless life destined for the child.

That was when the Narrator's voice pierced Jamie's mind again, Jamie was to go to the basement and it was if the Narrator controlled the places in which Jamie traveled. Sighing in in resignation, Jamie began the trek to "The basement," not just any basement it seemed, but the basement, hopefully there, Jamie could just curl up and give it; it had already been too tough already to manage, why keep going?

Jamie opened the door slowly and peaked down the rickety stairs the house employed as a route to the basement. Stepping on one lightly, it still managed to squeak under Jamie's weight, "Hello?" Jamie said walking down the stairs, "Is there anyone here?"

 

[Anarchemitis]

We seem to be waiting on Fury is Me

 

[Xero Scythe]

Jackrum sighed as he saw a girl rush in, casting a healing spell. Unfortunately for her, it seemed to take up all her concentration to cast, as she barreled straight into Grana. He sighed as he steadied the mage. "Yo, healer- you do realize most of the blood was probably rat, right? The only one who got injured was the girl with the whip and wearing approximately two square feet of fabric over there." He said, cocking his thumb at Misa. Jackrum took the cigar out of his mouth and blew out smoke like a chimmney away from everyone else. He blew the smoke out through his teeth, giving one the impression of a dragon. He looked up at Jamie. "Evenin', miss. There's me and a few other people that the Narrator managed to corral 'ere."

Jackrum sighed, sticking the cigar back in his mouth. "Quite a few of ya 'ere, aren't there? Wonder why we were sent here of all places." Of course, keeping in check with the Laws of RPG, the cigar did nothing to hinder his speech. Jackrum felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise up and he complied, whipping out Hades and was rewarded as he trained the barrels on a tan, savage-looking woman with an arrow pointed right at him.

WWJD- "What Would Jackrum Do?" Menu:
What do I want to do?

>Threaten

>Maim
>Kill
>Kill
>Kill
>Wipe off the face of Fantasia

Skills:
Counter Stance

>Hades:
-Aim

>Explosia:
-Prime

Jackrum leveled Hades right at the woman?s chest. ?Upon my honor, I am not a violent man, but if you don?t lower that bow right damn now, we?ll see if your arrow or my bullet is faster!? He roared.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Suddenly, without any warning, a loud, piercing, war-like cry sounded through outthe basement, resonating off the wall and into everyone's ears. It sounded like a stereotypical, Indian, "WAWAWAWAWAWAWA" sound, and it was getting louder. Suddenly, bits of the door flew down the stairs of the basement and someone shouted from the door outside, which, presumably, now had a hole in it. "HEEERE'S FINNY!" He said. Finny kicked down the remains of the door, sending the wooden shrapnel down the stairs, brandishing one of his Flamberge's in his right hand. He made an "O" shape with his lips and patted it with his hand, making the Stereotypical "WAWAWAWAWAWAWA" sound again as he raised his weapon like he was ready for war and charged down the stairs, into the basement to rejoin his new friends. Unfortunatly for Finny, he had miscalculated the fact that he had just sent large bits of uneven wood down the stairs, some of which were still laying on the staircase, and stepped on a rather large one, making his foot trip from beneath him. He started falling down the stairs in a very typical, cartoonish fashion. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" He shouted, with ever landing his body made as he fell down. On the last step, he quickly regained his composition and fixed himself, quickly, before falling down again, landin right on his feet, like he was unharmed, just like some kind of weird cartoon. He put on a stupid grin and waved to everyone. "Hi guys! Sorry about the wait! I got a little sidetracked going through the houses of this town for it's precious artifacts and things of sentimental value. Turns out, it didn't have much. Figures, since it's the First town. Hey! Now the name makes sense!" He chuckled.

 

[Anarchemitis]

The rather hammy apparitions of new arrivals startled him slightly, still holding his candle. The scene seems to tamber with its audacity as the dust settled from the new arrivals. The nine seen individuals stood for a moment, looking at each other, taking in the morning in mind or in smell, or standing by at the tension of mystery.
Skullivan broke the minor silence.
"Let's reiterate this ensemble, lest the Narrator complain about possible confusion regarding its composition in terms of personage and time." Skullivan stated. "I'm The Skullivan, venutry Skeleton, map chronicler and chef. And a personal detail to make such a description less omnious or boring, my favorite color is purple."
He looked at the person to his right inquisitively.

 

[spartan1077]

Misa giggled as the man fell down the stairs. She straightened her back and whipped the minstrel.
"Play introduction music with a tad bit of seductive sounds" she hissed before turning back to everyone. She smiled and struck a provocative pose.
"I'm Misa, but everyone can call me sexy...although most of you are better looking" she said flirtatiously before adding "I'm also a witch"