Getting tired of (certain) women.

[Phasmal]

Thus we have the problem illustrated. For some (the OP and myself, for example) it's only natural to offer a brief nod of acknowledgement when passing another person in the street, while for others, such as Ms. Phasmal here, it seems unnecessary and intrusive. The nod is misinterpreted as unwanted attention (if it's even noticed at all), while the lack of a response is seen as being deliberately ignored. Neither party is really in the wrong, it just means that you have different ideas of what is expected in that situation. It's likely that plenty of the girls who haven't nodded or responded back simply don't do that in general.

I feel I should also add that I didn't grow up in a super-friendly place and smiling at people in the street would not have been a wise idea, you just keep your eyes to yourself. That and the fact that as a lady you're encouraged to kind of be afraid of random dudes coming up to you/smiling at you.

Also, to Phasmal's second question, I don't think it's specifically a "I feel entitled to the attention of women" as a "I feel entitled to (what I feel is) common courtesy." It's the same bit of annoyance you might get if people didn't say 'thank you' when you let them borrow something, or didn't bother to hold a door open when you were only a little behind them. If it started to happen on a regular basis, it might start bugging you. I imagine the OP is attributing this specifically to women either because he's paying more attention to their responses, or that guys might feel more open about responding back, since they'd be less likely to think it's 'unwanted attention.'

Yeah, I didn't word that well but thats basically what I meant. Why the response of women matters/why he notices it more.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I am an obsessive people watcher... I love watching social interactions, especially if there is someone else to discuss it with...

This is something seen often amongst the self-rightous, 'fit but my god don't you know it' types, who just seem men as people who oggle at them, and obviously all want them... its saddening.

Unfortunately the smiling and nodding in the street culture is also on the decline at a rapid pace... and it was only around in some cultures to begin with! Some places, for instance Poland when I visited, it was deemed rude to speak to someone you didn't know off the bat... or even to have any interation as you passed.

I may be wrong, but from conversations I have had with Danes, Swedes and some Finnish lads, Scandinavia seems to have a similar culture... where you have better luck meeting girls through freinds of freinds, and just approaching a girl in a bar is considered not normal...

I like to smile and acknowledge people in the street too, but quite often find it is not recipricated... maybe it is because I am also from a pretty rural town!

 

[Vault101]

snip.

1. mabye you come across as a little weird

2. if you dont need to interacti with them in anyway then its better to just forge it

3. I think when I was younger I kind of had it drilled into my head to be "wary" of guys..epecially if they are overly nice to you..like they could be "creeps" or somthing, obviously this is stupid but I dont know...perhaps a similar thing is going on here

Pretty much had the same thing happen to me, but I wasn't doing the talking. Alot of women thought they could say whatever the fuck they wanted to me because I have a shaved head and wear glasses. It was funny when I would call them on it, they would just stare at me like a **** deer caught in the headlights.

what exactally do they "say"?....no really Im facinated by this

 

[Vault101]

snip[quote/]

Pretty much just ask me horrible questions that makes me want to punch them. A good example is when I came out of the bars to have a cig. It was raining outside and this women asked me if neo nazis could survive in cold weather.

thats....pretty odd...gues she thourght you were a neo natzi

 

[renegade7]

It's just a people problem you have...you just need to get out more and meet more people, and you'll learn.

But you can't just expect everyone to be polite to you.

 

[Hagi]

Right...

Here's what I think is happening.

OP isn't a psycho misogynist who looks like he's about to rape people. I doubt the OP even has problems with women beyond the usual for someone with Asperger's Syndrome and as such a certain degree of social awkwardness.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with the OP. There's also nothing wrong with the women he's encountering.

You ever notice how when you discover something for the first time you then suddenly start seeing it ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE? Like one day you notice how many people are wearing red shirts and then suddenly every street you go you see red shirts. Freaking everywhere.

Nothing wrong with a smile or a nod when making eye contact on the street. It's friendly to return it. It's perfectly fine if they don't, but it can feel a bit rude at times.

This is a very simple case of confirmation bias. The perfectly natural tendency of all human beings to favour information that supports their beliefs. It's not something anyone does consciously, it just happens. To all of us. Realising it's actually happening is usually all that's needed to fix it.

So OP no worries, nothing's wrong. Just try to actively pay attention to the women who don't react in that way.

To many of the other posters: stop dramatizing things so much. Not every story has a villain and a hero. Sometimes simple things just happen.

 

[Sandernista]

Nope. Its pretty commonplace to walk around doing your own thing and not even look at other people when you are out doing something.

Where do you live, North Korea?

Where I live, Chicago, it is entirely normal to completely ignore and forget everyone you see. (As I see maybe 6000-7000 people on my schools campus alone, not even counting the number of people on the train, or walking on the street off campus)

 

[Vault101]

[snip.

I'm not a "woman"...Im a person...you know?

also an itneresting article http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

 

[isometry]

It's all true, but it's also good to keep in mind that guys will ignore women they do not find attractive as well. In fact guys are much worse about it than girls, and women who aren't gifted in looks have to work really hard to get noticed (whereas guys can offset an ugly face easily by going to the gym and keeping up with personal hygiene).

 

[Phlakes]

If you're really a nice guy it shouldn't matter how the treat you back. Most of the OP reads like "why won't these women acknowledge me being nice", which isn't how being nice works, no matter your intentions.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

[snip.

I'm not a "woman"...Im a person...you know?

also an itneresting article http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

Does it make me one of those douchey guys if i say i don't really feel like i can identify with either of those points :/

OT: To be perfectly honest i had a bit of a revelation when it comes to "types of people" and their behavior and motivation just the other day, and while it's a story i'd rather not drop into i will say that it added to the evergrowing pile of reasons as to why stereotyping is wrong.

Besides, it's not healthy to be prejudiced against people you just pass on the street or on the bus stop because you have no idea how they think or what they do on a regualar basis on their own.

Personally i'm always bothered by people who call me out for being "stuck-up", "self-important", or "acting superior" just because i don't pay attention to them on the street. Usually i don't pay much attention because i'm off in my own thoughts and even when that's not happening i do try to avoid eye contact because it feels awkward even just going "hello" because it's such a fleeting and pointless thing - in my head anyways.

 

[Vault101]

[snip.

I'm not a "woman"...Im a person...you know?

also an itneresting article http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

Does it make me one of those douchey guys if i say i don't really feel like i can identify with either of those points :/

.

the article?...or me saying I dont like to be defined as some bizare alien race thats just trying to fuck with people?

I dont make eye contact with strangers...its respecting ones right to privacy

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

[snip.

I'm not a "woman"...Im a person...you know?

also an itneresting article http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

Does it make me one of those douchey guys if i say i don't really feel like i can identify with either of those points :/

.

the article?...or me saying I dont like to be defined as some bizare alien race thats just trying to fuck with people?

I dont make eye contact with strangers...its respecting ones right to privacy

The article. If i said you were wrong to want to be treated as another human i wouldn't even have to ask the question

 

[guidance]

If it makes you feel better, I give the staring blankly past people stare to every person I ever see. Even my friends I will just look past them, cause fuck them I have thoughts in my head. I'm a guy so if one of those girls ever try to look at me to get a response, consider my stare revenge for your troubles.