Getting tired of (certain) women.

[Headsprouter]

Well.....if you ask why, you might seem a little pathetic.

And it fits the "Get in my damn car!" role.

Just say, at the most, "Okay, you sure?" because it seems a little less...controlling.

I tend to just say "Alright." and piss off in similar situations.

 

[dancinginfernal]

Nope. Its pretty commonplace to walk around doing your own thing and not even look at other people when you are out doing something.

Where do you live, North Korea?

Being a small-town resident, I can tell you now that many city-folk tend to be like that. There are so many people it's just better to get on with your own business. I've noticed as I get older it begins to become more of a mindless thing, than intentional ignorance.

Small towns tend to be a close-knit community, where everyone knows everyone. In that way, crossing someone on the street, it's common politesse to greet them. In somewhere more urban, it's normal.

It weirded me out as well, when I first heard of it.

 

[VivaciousDeimos]

Snip

On the street?
How do you get shit done?

I can tell you, as a woman, its more annoying to have some random dude come up to you and start talking to you. Just cause I'm a lady doesn't mean I have to give a shit. (People always talk to me at bus stops. I hate it).

Oh god, bus stops. I lived in Honolulu for a year; I could write a fucking book on all the awkward conversation people would try and make (as could anyone who lives in a big enough city, I'm sure). Do you not see the headphones? Leave me alone.

 

[viranimus]

What in the hell?!?!

Ok. This individual comes in and states a commonly observable behavior in SOME (not most as suggested, not even a lot, Honestly only a few) females and the pulse is to insult them, railroad them into thinking they are falling into the "***** in Sheep's Clothing" trope, then effectively convince them that THEY are at fault for being observant? WTF

Im sorry, but the worst thing in the world you can do is come to a forum on the internet for advice because the internet is filled with wikipedia smart would be experts on all subject matters who would gladly dish out generalized advice without though of its accuracy or respect to its effect. Seriously... think about this. Your taking someone who claims to have clinically diagnosed Asperger's syndrome, and in effect telling them that they are at fault for their lack of typical adherence to social structure that they obviously struggle with.


Part of having Asperger's is lacking social restraint and in effect choosing to view things as they are rather than the imposed social light that people expect. Yes, there are SOME women out there, who by their nature genuinely think every man wants them for sex. It exists, it happens for one reason or another. That does not make them wrong for distrusting you OP, nor does your good intention delivered with what would be perceived as a sinister manner. But that does not mean you actually have a sinister motivation or your actions should be perceived as sinister to begin with either.

The biggest problem with Aspergers is the failing to recognize or respect social cues, both in ones self, and in others. The point is this is an infinitely more complex issue than what others are glibly dismissing because yes, it might be your own misinterpretation of the intention of others, Or it might be you being overly sensitive to a bullshit response

So how about we dont try to paint the OP like


When its not even remotely as simple as that.

 

[Nalgas D. Lemur]

Unfortunately the smiling and nodding in the street culture is also on the decline at a rapid pace... and it was only around in some cultures to begin with! Some places, for instance Poland when I visited, it was deemed rude to speak to someone you didn't know off the bat... or even to have any interation as you passed.

I haven't been there recently, but my dad and I went to Poland to visit family about 20 years ago, right after they'd overthrown the communist rule and become democratic again. I had almost the opposite experience. Everyone we ran into and talked to was rather friendly and open. Even when we ran into some drunk guys in an alley one night, we ended up making friends with them instead of getting mugged. Heh. It may have just been a product of current events at the time and general excitement over finally having freedom and reform after so many years, but it seemed to be that way everywhere we went.

That said, the Poles were absolutely no comparison to the Italian side of my family. The Italians (and a lot of Latin cultures in general it feels like) take being outgoing to such an over-the-top level that it makes me kind of uncomfortable sometimes. I didn't spend enough time around them while growing up to get used to it (usually only a week in the summer because they were so far away), so it's a little overwhelming for an introvert like me when almost everyone not only smiles and nods when they pass by but also stops to talk or just randomly shows up at the door to say hello and see what's going on.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

This is awfully similar to a thread I made about myself and my fear that some women were afraid of me because I'm a carpentry apprentice and that im supposedly a scary builder. Except it was about how I felt like I was treated differently in my work clothes.

People there convinced me I was wrong 90% of the time and that most people don't give me a second thought when im at work although you do catch the ocassional snob.

I'd post a link but I'm on my iPhone and that makes it hard too much work to copy paste links.

edit: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.352922-So-some-woman-are-afraid-of-me-because-of-my-job?page=1

There.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

It's just people being ignorant bro. It happens.

If you guys have an opinion about this (And this is the internet so you do), please discuss. Maybe I am wrong, maybe it is all in my head.. but I don't think so.

Well...uh...hm. Hm.

Okay...

1. This is textbook misogyny.
2. That's not unusual. Most guys, especially socially maladroit guys, will go through a phase where they exhibit textbook misogyny. You see it on this site all the time. It doesn't mean it's alright, or defensible, but it IS something you will likely grow out of.
3. You don't really know anything about these women, or their thought processes. You are projecting your own insecurities onto them.
4. Any time you try to make generalizations about "most of" any group, be it designated by gender, or race, or religion, or whichever signifier you choose, you are engaging in prejudice.
5. If you're finding that people tend to have a mistrustful attitude towards you, the BEST and ONLY thing you can do is try and figure out what it is ABOUT YOU that is causing this to happen.

#AreYouSeriousBro?

He's clearly stated it's not all women, just a select few that fit his description.

 

[Phasmal]

#AreYouSeriousBro?

He's clearly stated it's not all women, just a select few that fit his description.

Dude did state afterwards he does think he has issues with women.
And even if its just a `select few` who dont return his smiles on the street, why should they?
They dont know him, they don't owe him a smile just for him being there.

Snip

On the street?
How do you get shit done?

I can tell you, as a woman, its more annoying to have some random dude come up to you and start talking to you. Just cause I'm a lady doesn't mean I have to give a shit. (People always talk to me at bus stops. I hate it).

Oh god, bus stops. I lived in Honolulu for a year; I could write a fucking book on all the awkward conversation people would try and make (as could anyone who lives in a big enough city, I'm sure). Do you not see the headphones? Leave me alone.

This. Especially when I am coming home late and a creepy guy decides to stand too close to me and start talking to me. All I can think is `I am going to get murdered`. <-- Since it is apparently unclear, that was a joke.

 

[Phasmal]

This. Especially when I am coming home late and a creepy guy decides to stand too close to me and start talking to me. All I can think is `I am going to get murdered`.

how long have you been having these irrational fears and what exactly defines a man as "creepy" in your eyes ?

Lol. I make a lighthearted joke and now I have irrational fears. Oh, internet, you so silly.

Its hard to define `creepy`, its more of the vibes you get from a person. But things like standing too close, smelling weird, staring or a combination of those. Also, approaching a stranger to talk to them at a bus stop while they are clearly not sending out `talk to me` body language.

are you aware this is "textbook" misandry ?

Are you aware of the word "joke"?

 

[Phasmal]

ye its all a light-hearted joke.

i particularly like being mistaken for a potential murderer or rapist because i make casual conversation with someone or walk behind them on a footpath.

oh the hilarity

Oh poor you.

If a guy is making me uncomfortable by coming up to me in the middle of the night (which by the way, they dont really. Its irritating, thats all), then I will not feel bad about later on going `Why did some guy come up to me, weirdo`.

But apparently its misandry that I do not always want to be approached by guys, because apparently my personal space is their personal space.

EDIT: This would be the same for women but I've never had a woman come up to me and randomly start talking to me.

 

[Deviluk]

If you guys have an opinion about this (And this is the internet so you do), please discuss. Maybe I am wrong, maybe it is all in my head.. but I don't think so.

Well...uh...hm. Hm.

Okay...

1. This is textbook misogyny.
2. That's not unusual. Most guys, especially socially maladroit guys, will go through a phase where they exhibit textbook misogyny. You see it on this site all the time. It doesn't mean it's alright, or defensible, but it IS something you will likely grow out of.
3. You don't really know anything about these women, or their thought processes. You are projecting your own insecurities onto them.
4. Any time you try to make generalizations about "most of" any group, be it designated by gender, or race, or religion, or whichever signifier you choose, you are engaging in prejudice.
5. If you're finding that people tend to have a mistrustful attitude towards you, the BEST and ONLY thing you can do is try and figure out what it is ABOUT YOU that is causing this to happen.

Wow. Can we have you as internet president or something? I've never seen this type of intelligence and levelheadedness on the internet before. And btw I'm not being sarcastic I really think so.

To OP, I believe the same as the President here, eventually you'll harbour less feelings about such groups of people, but for now just try not to act on it, because it is most likely its your problem not theirs.

 

[Phasmal]

ah yes belittle my non existent feelings how very enlightened and non-sexist of you.

how large is your personal space exactly ? perhaps you could use it to contain some kind of personal signage for when you want to be a member of the human race or not.

EDIT: no it wouldn't and stop lying.

Okay, lets address this properly then.

1) I have literally never had a woman come up to me and start talking to me in the middle of the night, but if one did, it would be annoying. Because I don't care about random people on the street.
2) It may suck for you to be labelled as a murderer if you are making someone uncomfortable, but it probably sucks more to have to be on the lookout for people who may hurt you because you are a bigger target, especially at night and all that. (And, no, thats not how I personally think but its something many women need to be aware of when walking alone).
3) My personal space is exactly that, mine. If I am sitting at the bus stop with my legs and arms folded, looking at my phone: I am sending a message `I do not want to be disturbed`. Why does some random dude have the right to come up and demand my attention?

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I mostly ignore most women, since a lot of them are just like you say. There are exceptions though and those are the ones who you'll want to get to know and talk with. The faster the other kind fucks off, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

 

[DementedSheep]

Hello escapists,

This is kind of a hard and personal thing to talk about, but I do wish to discuss it.
It's about women.
Not all of them, off course, but most of them.

Here's the thing, I have Asperger's syndrome, am shorter then most people, and kind of a weirdo.
So I have always felled different from my peers.
But lately I have noticed that a certain type of female has some strange aversion to me.
I think we all know the type: average intelligence, pretty, big social life but intellectually starving. There is no way I want to be with people like them, but I am still nice and polite to them, because that is my nature.

But lateley, I've been noticing how many of them react to me. As if they think I want more then just a smile or a nod. Like I am some kind of sex guy that wants to get into their panties by being nice to them, you know what I mean?
A friendly smile on the street is usually greeted here, but not by these women. They just ignore you; stare straight ahead as if you weren't there. Since I started noticing this, I realised this happens daily!

Most people do that tho, at least where I live. if you smiled at me there is a high chance that I actually wouldn?t notice you, I might assume you weren?t smiling at me and if I don?t know you I?m necessarily going to respond. I?m just not use to people I don't know smiling at me on the street. Maybe it?s kind of sad that people are like now but that's just the way it seems to be.

Another example would be a collegue I worked with for 4 months. She missed her bus, lived in my area, so I offered to give her a ride.
She told me no, and when I asked why she told me she doesn't trust me very much, as if I am some kind of sicko.

I wouldn't hop in the car with anyone who isn't a close friend. It's not necessarily that you look like creep and it's nothing personal, you just don?t hop cars with people you don't know well. Chances are the person just being nice but you don't want risk it anyway. It's basic safety shit thats been drilled in to many people since childhood.

And this goes on, and on, and on. So yeah, I have gotten sick and tired of that type of woman.
They believe the whole world is there just for them, and never apriciate anything guys like me do for them, ever.

*sigh* don't do that, you're making assumptions.

Maybe I am wrong, maybe it is all in my head.. but I don't think so.

I think you overanalysing and projecting honestly. I think your probably only noticing this so much because you looking for it.

 

[Phasmal]

1) women initiation conversation with ether without knowing each other all the time. a single day of people watching would illustrate this to anyone who could ever be an impartial observer.

2) if someone thinks like that the real problem is with them.

3) initiating casual conversation is not a hostile or threatening act and neither does taking part in one "demand your attention" (which is attempting to frame the person who is doing so as an aggressor hence "demand").

1) Not in my experience of being a woman for a whole 21 years. And also: at night.
2) Some women have to think like that if they live in dangerous areas. Otherwise you get the whole `well she shouldnt have been walking alone at night what did she expect yada yada`
3) If I dont want conversation, I'm allowed to not engage. I dont know why that is so offensive to you.

I think we should just agree to disagree, because we are just repeating the same points and getting no where.