Getting tired of (certain) women.

[Danny Ocean]

Nope. Its pretty commonplace to walk around doing your own thing and not even look at other people when you are out doing something.

Where do you live, North Korea?

I live in the UK, close to a city, its rather busy.
If I spent all day smiling at dudes, I'd get nothing else done.

I smile at people if our eyes meet or if I need to look at them or whatever, but it's that kinda half-smile where you purse your lips. The only times I smile properly are when I'm just walking around with a big happy grin on my face anyway or if the person smiles back. Or if I'm just in a really good mood. It rubs off on people.

And I live in Devon, which is like the shire. Peeps are fine with smalltalk here.

I mean, I smile at people quite a lot but I seem to get away with it. Girls included. Actually, I smile more at girls than guys 'cause they mostly don't think anything of it. Guys seem to get a bit freaked out by it. Perhaps I'm just so dashingly charming I can pull it off.

Im fucking sick of people juding half the population on their fucking gender...of being seen as "female" first and a "person" second

Me too. It sucks to be considered a potential rapist until proven trustworthy.

In all seriousness though it's not that hard to get along with people, OP. Perhaps your apparent disdain for women- likely bitterness- is showing through in the way you act around them.

 

[HardkorSB]

Here's the thing, I have Asperger's syndrome, am shorter then most people, and kind of a weirdo.
So I have always felled different from my peers.

I see...

But lately I have noticed that a certain type of female has some strange aversion to me.
I think we all know the type: average intelligence, pretty, big social life but intellectually starving. There is no way I want to be with people like them, but I am still nice and polite to them, because that is my nature.

But lateley, I've been noticing how many of them react to me. As if they think I want more then just a smile or a nod. Like I am some kind of sex guy that wants to get into their panties by being nice to them, you know what I mean?
A friendly smile on the street is usually greeted here, but not by these women. They just ignore you; stare straight ahead as if you weren't there. Since I started noticing this, I realised this happens daily!

Is there a requirement to smile back?
I mean, people sometimes smile at me and I don't give a shit. Not always because I'm a dick (just sometimes) but because I'm walking in a particular direction to get to a particular location, not to look at random people on the street. There are times when I'm walking along, not really going anywhere, enjoying the stroll, then I may pay attention to people a bit more. Usually though, I don't even think about it. Most people are like that, probably.

Another example would be a collegue I worked with for 4 months. She missed her bus, lived in my area, so I offered to give her a ride.
She told me no, and when I asked why she told me she doesn't trust me very much, as if I am some kind of sicko.

Well, you did say you're a weirdo so, if you think that way about yourself, maybe others do as well?

And this goes on, and on, and on. So yeah, I have gotten sick and tired of that type of woman.
They believe the whole world is there just for them, and never apriciate anything guys like me do for them, ever.

How can you know that if, most of the time, they don't even notice you and if they do, they stay away from you? Did you ever get to know one of these women better or are you just imagining them like that?
Maybe you're doing this:


Often, it's about the presentation, not the product.
If you present yourself as the best thing ever and do it in a convincing and confident way, chances are that at least some people will buy that. If you keep thinking about how weird you are and how you can't get along with the majority of people then it will show in the way you act and people will pick up on that.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

[snip.....

No, but based on personal experience I figured that you were about to say something like what you just said, trying to teach me a lesson.

forgive me then....if that was a little condecing

but Im fucking sick of it.....

Im fucking sick of people juding half the population on their fucking gender...of being seen as "female" first and a "person" second, Im fucking sick of putting with the same tired old shit that often comes up in the entertainment I consume (because lts face it...alot of it is geared towards guys)

so forgive me..if I was trying to point out that its alittle hypocritical to think one generalisation is ok (women are all x) but another isnt (men are all y) becaue Im sure as hell PLENTY of men would disagree with my little generalisation up there

so yeah..Im sorry for "teching you a lesson"

but heres my rant (and no Im not reffering to you, I dont know you) but when some fat fuck on a computer who makes WOW is one devotion in life, who's so shy and socially awkward he loses the ability to speak in the presance of a women...he remains unsuccesful...he wonders why..HE HAS TO FUCKING WONDER WHY??!!! when he gets rejected, when his freind wont "discover" her love for him..and he goes off and decided that OBVOUSLY all women are just shallow bitches and wont give him the time of day..or "manipulative bitches" like his freind....obviously its not his probelem (again Im not directing that at you, just at a general steryotype)

of coarse perfectly fine unsucessful guys feel like that too...and mabye they arnt actually mysoganist or hate women....but those generalisations actualy kinda hurt on some small level....

*sigh* I dont know....Im just angry is all,[/quote][/quote]

I can understand that. And I'm nothing like that anyway, I'm pretty slim, do not play Wow and is a lesbian, so...

 

[Amaror]

Yes, I did live in a village for most of my life and recently moved to a larger town. So maybe everything really was all in my head?

Well, then you just have to understand that people don't react to each other like it is in a village.
The women don't ignore you or Pretend to don't notice you. They just really don't notice you and that is normal in a town.
First step would be to try and adapt a little bit to the city life.
I lived in a village too, but never had problems because everytime i would go out with my friends we visited a larger city nearby, so that was pretty normal to me.
Just try to get used to it, don't try to get the attention of random people on the street, they don't need it and mostly don't want it either

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

Nope. Its pretty commonplace to walk around doing your own thing and not even look at other people when you are out doing something.

Where do you live, North Korea?

I live in the UK, close to a city, its rather busy.
If I spent all day smiling at dudes, I'd get nothing else done.

No, stop being silly, stop advocating not being polite. I don't care if you don't agree with whatever this guy's views are, but he's not asking you for a conversation in the street, you can smile at someone without breaking your stride and it's simple common politeness, not to do so is incredibly arrogant.

 

[Yopaz]

average intelligence, pretty, big social life but intellectually starving.

Not sure if you read the entire sentence there... Or are you saying that a woman of average intelligence is intellectually starving?

I can't say I see the same things as you, but then again things are different in different places.

 

[Phasmal]

Nope. Its pretty commonplace to walk around doing your own thing and not even look at other people when you are out doing something.

Where do you live, North Korea?

I live in the UK, close to a city, its rather busy.
If I spent all day smiling at dudes, I'd get nothing else done.

No, stop being silly, stop advocating not being polite. I don't care if you don't agree with whatever this guy's views are, but he's not asking you for a conversation in the street, you can smile at someone without breaking your stride and it's simple common politeness, not to do so is incredibly arrogant.

I'm not advocating not being polite. But there is literally no reason for me to smile at everyone I pass unless I want to look like a lunatic. Nobody where I live does this.
If I have to interact with someone, am holding a door for them or the like of course I will be polite but otherwise there is no reason to acknowledge every single person you pass in the street.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

Nope. Its pretty commonplace to walk around doing your own thing and not even look at other people when you are out doing something.

Where do you live, North Korea?

I live in the UK, close to a city, its rather busy.
If I spent all day smiling at dudes, I'd get nothing else done.

No, stop being silly, stop advocating not being polite. I don't care if you don't agree with whatever this guy's views are, but he's not asking you for a conversation in the street, you can smile at someone without breaking your stride and it's simple common politeness, not to do so is incredibly arrogant.

I'm not advocating not being polite. But there is literally no reason for me to smile at everyone I pass unless I want to look like a lunatic. Nobody where I live does this.
If I have to interact with someone, am holding a door for them or the like of course I will be polite but otherwise there is no reason to acknowledge every single person you pass in the street.

You're saying its fine not to smile back at someone who's smiled at you on the basis that it's a waste of your time. I'm not saying you should smile at everyone you see, merely that it's common courtesy to smile back at someone who does so at you, and your excuse that you'd get nothing else done is once again incredibly arrogant and lazy.

 

[Phasmal]

You're saying its fine not to smile back at someone who's smiled at you on the basis that it's a waste of your time. I'm not saying you should smile at everyone you see, merely that it's common courtesy to smile back at someone who does so at you, and your excuse that you'd get nothing else done is once again incredibly arrogant and lazy.

I dont think I would even notice if someone smiled at me because I tend to walk and daydream at the same time. If I did notice I would of course do that being-polite smile.

The `not getting anything else done` thing was a joke aimed at exactly how many people I may pass in a day and thats generally why there is not much street-smiling going on where I live. Because everyone is getting on with their own lives.

A lot of people dont even make eye contact when going down the street, depending on where you live.

And even if I was arrogant and lazy, so what? I dont HAVE to smile at anyone if I dont want to. I would to be polite, but people walking past you in the street owe you exactly fuck-all.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

You're saying its fine not to smile back at someone who's smiled at you on the basis that it's a waste of your time. I'm not saying you should smile at everyone you see, merely that it's common courtesy to smile back at someone who does so at you, and your excuse that you'd get nothing else done is once again incredibly arrogant and lazy.

I dont think I would even notice if someone smiled at me because I tend to walk and daydream at the same time. If I did notice I would of course do that being-polite smile.

The `not getting anything else done` thing was a joke aimed at exactly how many people I may pass in a day and thats generally why there is not much street-smiling going on where I live. Because everyone is getting on with their own lives.

A lot of people dont even make eye contact when going down the street, depending on where you live.

And even if I was arrogant and lazy, so what? I dont HAVE to smile at anyone if I dont want to. I would to be polite, but people walking past you in the street owe you exactly fuck-all.

Honestly, this is the bit that tells me what you're really like. No, you don't owe them anything, but the fact that you can say "even if I was arrogant and lazy, so what?" With a straight face tells me all I need to know about your character.

 

[Phasmal]

Honestly, this is the bit that tells me what you're really like. No, you don't owe them anything, but the fact that you can say "even if I was arrogant and lazy, so what?" With a straight face tells me all I need to know about your character.

O-kay?
Ignore the points I made and just try personal attacks.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

And this goes on, and on, and on. So yeah, I have gotten sick and tired of that type of woman.
They believe the whole world is there just for them, and never apriciate anything guys like me do for them, ever.

No, you're wrong. They don't think the world is just for them, they don't think they're owed anything and they do appreciate what you do.

The problem is you, entirely you. You believe you're owed their attention simply because you're being nice, you're being polite to them and expect their interest because of it. Feel free to deny it but it's hidden between every line you wrote just there, we can all see it. You asked your co-worker of 4 months if she wanted a lift and thought she would say yes simply because you offered, despite her not trusting you. You were co-workers for 4 months man, not best friends.

Change that about yourself and this type of women will cease to appear to you, mainly because they don't exist in the first place. It is all in your head.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

Honestly, this is the bit that tells me what you're really like. No, you don't owe them anything, but the fact that you can say "even if I was arrogant and lazy, so what?" With a straight face tells me all I need to know about your character.

O-kay?
Ignore the points I made and just try personal attacks.

O-kay, if you hadn't noticed the whole debate has been about you as a person so, yes I'm making personal attacks, that's my whole angle.

Apart from that, from your description I have no issue with the way you conduct yourself, just your attitude, which is (altogether now) arrogant and lazy.

 

[Phasmal]

Honestly, this is the bit that tells me what you're really like. No, you don't owe them anything, but the fact that you can say "even if I was arrogant and lazy, so what?" With a straight face tells me all I need to know about your character.

O-kay?
Ignore the points I made and just try personal attacks.

O-kay, if you hadn't noticed the whole debate has been about you as a person so, yes I'm making personal attacks, that's my whole angle.

Apart from that, from your description I have no issue with the way you conduct yourself, just your attitude, which is (altogether now) arrogant and lazy.

Lol.
This was about me, because I made a joke that I pass a lot of people in the street therefore I must be some sort of rude hussy?
And then I said I would be polite but not many people will be?

Its good to be polite, but expecting some level of interaction from every person you pass on the street will leave you disappointed if you pass a large number of people on the street.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

Honestly, this is the bit that tells me what you're really like. No, you don't owe them anything, but the fact that you can say "even if I was arrogant and lazy, so what?" With a straight face tells me all I need to know about your character.

O-kay?
Ignore the points I made and just try personal attacks.

O-kay, if you hadn't noticed the whole debate has been about you as a person so, yes I'm making personal attacks, that's my whole angle.

Apart from that, from your description I have no issue with the way you conduct yourself, just your attitude, which is (altogether now) arrogant and lazy.

Lol.
This was about me, because I made a joke that I pass a lot of people in the street therefore I must be some sort of rude hussy?
And then I said I would be polite but not many people will be?

Its good to be polite, but expecting some level of interaction from every person you pass on the street will leave you disappointed if you pass a large number of people on the street.

Ok, go ahead and keep making stupid strawman arguments, whatever. I never said I expected social interaction from everyone on the street, in fact at various points I actively said the opposite.

"I'm not saying you should smile at everyone you see, merely that it's common courtesy to smile back at someone who does so at you" - Me, ten minutes ago.

No, the fact that you're rude and arrogant is not because you made a joke, it's because you think it's ok to be rude and arrogant because you don't owe people anything.

By the way, the "Lol" thing isn't making you seem any more polite, not that you seem to care.

 

[Phasmal]

Snip

Look, I have no idea why you decided to take offence at my comment and make judgements about someone you dont know (because that isn't rude or arrogant), but seriously, what do you want from me?

My actual point was so what if some people are rude an arrogant, it happens, they dont owe you anything just for you walking past them. Your point was to take a comment and get all hissy about it.

No, I dont care what you, personally, think of me. Because you are some dude over the internet personally attacking me over a comment. Why should I care?

 

[BloatedGuppy]

No, stop being silly, stop advocating not being polite. I don't care if you don't agree with whatever this guy's views are, but he's not asking you for a conversation in the street, you can smile at someone without breaking your stride and it's simple common politeness, not to do so is incredibly arrogant.

It's arrogant not to smile, now?

So that day my Dad died, when some stranger gave me shit for not smiling...that was on me, then? I was being arrogant?

Good to know.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

Snip

Look, I have no idea why you decided to take offence at my comment and make judgements about someone you dont know (because that isn't rude or arrogant), but seriously, what do you want from me?

My actual point was so what if some people are rude an arrogant, it happens, they dont owe you anything just for you walking past them. Your point was to take a comment and get all hissy about it.

No, I dont care what you, personally, think of me. Because you are some dude over the internet personally attacking me over a comment. Why should I care?

Why should you care? Because you're being rude right now, and I can't comprehend that you don't realise it, constantly creating strawman arguments and insulting me.

You have no idea why I decided to take offence at your comment? Really? Because I was under the impression I just spent the last half an hour explaining why I took offence at your comment, but for clarity once more I will elaborate.

I took offence at your inference that it's fine to be arrogant and rude and no one has any obligation to smile at you if you smile at them across the street. Of course I agree I'm not owed anything by society, but that doesn't change the fact that you come across as arrogant and rude if you don't smile back.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

No, stop being silly, stop advocating not being polite. I don't care if you don't agree with whatever this guy's views are, but he's not asking you for a conversation in the street, you can smile at someone without breaking your stride and it's simple common politeness, not to do so is incredibly arrogant.

It's arrogant not to smile, now?

So that day my Dad died, when some stranger gave me shit for not smiling...that was on me, then? I was being arrogant?

Good to know.

Yes, I was clearly saying that in every circumstance completely regardless of context you should absolutely smile at anyone who smiles at you. If Hitler passes you in the street holding the heads of your dead children and smiles at you you must smile back at him.

No, don't be silly. When there are no extraneous circumstances and you see someone smile at you on the street and make the conscious decision to not smile back, you are being arrogant and rude, simple as.