Getting tired of (certain) women.

[Amaror]

Thus we have the problem illustrated. For some (the OP and myself, for example) it's only natural to offer a brief nod of acknowledgement when passing another person in the street, while for others, such as Ms. Phasmal here, it seems unnecessary and intrusive. The nod is misinterpreted as unwanted attention (if it's even noticed at all), while the lack of a response is seen as being deliberately ignored. Neither party is really in the wrong, it just means that you have different ideas of what is expected in that situation. It's likely that plenty of the girls who haven't nodded or responded back simply don't do that in general.

Also, to Phasmal's second question, I don't think it's specifically a "I feel entitled to the attention of women" as a "I feel entitled to (what I feel is) common courtesy." It's the same bit of annoyance you might get if people didn't say 'thank you' when you let them borrow something, or didn't bother to hold a door open when you were only a little behind them. If it started to happen on a regular basis, it might start bugging you. I imagine the OP is attributing this specifically to women either because he's paying more attention to their responses, or that guys might feel more open about responding back, since they'd be less likely to think it's 'unwanted attention.'

To sum up, it's probably mostly in your head, and probably not too big a deal all things considered. Try not to paint all women with the same brush.

Well i think the problem is where people live, or at least grow up.
When you are in a village or a very little town, it's common to greet people when you meet them. But when you are in a million people metropolis you just can't do that because you pass 10 people on the street per second.
To OP: Could it be that you lived in a village and moved to a town or something like that? Happened to a friend of mine, who couldn't stand it at first but got over it pretty fast, so i wouldn't worry.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

These women don't hate you, they simply don't care about you.

And Clarion has it.

I ignore near enough everyone I walk past in a public place. Not because I feel like being ignorant or they look funny but simply because I have things to do and i'm concentrating on that.

Basically that.

Kind of find it funny that the OP seems to go out of his way to introduce himself to people, whilst speaking as another person with Asperger's I'm very much the reticent type; I tend to just keep my head down and generally feel uncomfortable/suspicious around random strangers encroaching on my personal space like that. Though I suppose that's largely a product of the environmenr I grew up in; a disposition of bitter indifference is pretty much the norm among strangers for most place in the UK. :3

 

[Vault101]

I mostly ignore most women, since a lot of them are just like you say. [/B]There are exceptions though and those are the ones who you'll want to get to know and talk with. The faster the other kind fucks off, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

and alot of men are dumbasses who only think with their dicks and whine like little girls if anything threatens their precious (and illusionary) masculinity

wouldnt you agree?

 

[Bassik]

Thus we have the problem illustrated. For some (the OP and myself, for example) it's only natural to offer a brief nod of acknowledgement when passing another person in the street, while for others, such as Ms. Phasmal here, it seems unnecessary and intrusive. The nod is misinterpreted as unwanted attention (if it's even noticed at all), while the lack of a response is seen as being deliberately ignored. Neither party is really in the wrong, it just means that you have different ideas of what is expected in that situation. It's likely that plenty of the girls who haven't nodded or responded back simply don't do that in general.

Also, to Phasmal's second question, I don't think it's specifically a "I feel entitled to the attention of women" as a "I feel entitled to (what I feel is) common courtesy." It's the same bit of annoyance you might get if people didn't say 'thank you' when you let them borrow something, or didn't bother to hold a door open when you were only a little behind them. If it started to happen on a regular basis, it might start bugging you. I imagine the OP is attributing this specifically to women either because he's paying more attention to their responses, or that guys might feel more open about responding back, since they'd be less likely to think it's 'unwanted attention.'

To sum up, it's probably mostly in your head, and probably not too big a deal all things considered. Try not to paint all women with the same brush.

Well i think the problem is where people live, or at least grow up.
When you are in a village or a very little town, it's common to greet people when you meet them. But when you are in a million people metropolis you just can't do that because you pass 10 people on the street per second.
To OP: Could it be that you lived in a village and moved to a town or something like that? Happened to a friend of mine, who couldn't stand it at first but got over it pretty fast, so i wouldn't worry.

Yes, I did live in a village for most of my life and recently moved to a larger town. So maybe everything really was all in my head?

What in the hell?!?!

Ok. This individual comes in and states a commonly observable behavior in SOME (not most as suggested, not even a lot, Honestly only a few) females and the pulse is to insult them, railroad them into thinking they are falling into the "***** in Sheep's Clothing" trope, then effectively convince them that THEY are at fault for being observant? WTF

Im sorry, but the worst thing in the world you can do is come to a forum on the internet for advice because the internet is filled with wikipedia smart would be experts on all subject matters who would gladly dish out generalized advice without though of its accuracy or respect to its effect. Seriously... think about this. Your taking someone who claims to have clinically diagnosed Asperger's syndrome, and in effect telling them that they are at fault for their lack of typical adherence to social structure that they obviously struggle with.


Part of having Asperger's is lacking social restraint and in effect choosing to view things as they are rather than the imposed social light that people expect. Yes, there are SOME women out there, who by their nature genuinely think every man wants them for sex. It exists, it happens for one reason or another. That does not make them wrong for distrusting you OP, nor does your good intention delivered with what would be perceived as a sinister manner. But that does not mean you actually have a sinister motivation or your actions should be perceived as sinister to begin with either.

The biggest problem with Aspergers is the failing to recognize or respect social cues, both in ones self, and in others. The point is this is an infinitely more complex issue than what others are glibly dismissing because yes, it might be your own misinterpretation of the intention of others, Or it might be you being overly sensitive to a bullshit response

So how about we dont try to paint the OP like
[a creep]
When its not even remotely as simple as that.

My worst fear is that I might become like my father, who disrespects all women all the time. If my problems are caused by my condition, then you are right that posting this on the internet was a mistake. But it was good to hear from someone that I was going at it the wrong way, and I might be mistaken.
But thanks for sticking up for people like me, some of the comments in this thread where really harsh and unsettling.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I mostly ignore most women, since a lot of them are just like you say. [/B]There are exceptions though and those are the ones who you'll want to get to know and talk with. The faster the other kind fucks off, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

and alot of men are dumbasses who only think with their dicks and whine like little girls if anything threatens their precious (and illusionary) masculinity

wouldnt you agree?

Can't say I care about men in any way.

 

[neoontime]

To be fair, very many men are actually like the sex ogling jerks they hide from. I mean would you be okay with her getting into any man she knew's car.

 

[Vault101]

I mostly ignore most women, since a lot of them are just like you say. [/B]There are exceptions though and those are the ones who you'll want to get to know and talk with. The faster the other kind fucks off, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

and alot of men are dumbasses who only think with their dicks and whine like little girls if anything threatens their precious (and illusionary) masculinity

wouldnt you agree?

Can't say I care about men in any way.

what...so youre not sure?

Im just saying, stupid generalisations based on personal experience tend to piss people off.....

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I mostly ignore most women, since a lot of them are just like you say. [/B]There are exceptions though and those are the ones who you'll want to get to know and talk with. The faster the other kind fucks off, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

and alot of men are dumbasses who only think with their dicks and whine like little girls if anything threatens their precious (and illusionary) masculinity

wouldnt you agree?

Can't say I care about men in any way.

what...so youre not sure?

Im just saying, stupid generalisations based on personal experience tend to piss people off.....

No, but based on personal experience I figured that you were about to say something like what you just said, trying to teach me a lesson.

 

[Thaluikhain]

As mentioned by others, just because people don't want to interact with you, or don't want to get in your car, doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. People are under no obligation to act that way if they don't want to.

 

[Vault101]

[snip.....

No, but based on personal experience I figured that you were about to say something like what you just said, trying to teach me a lesson.[/quote]

forgive me then....if that was a little condecing

but Im fucking sick of it.....

Im fucking sick of people juding half the population on their fucking gender...of being seen as "female" first and a "person" second, Im fucking sick of putting with the same tired old shit that often comes up in the entertainment I consume (because lts face it...alot of it is geared towards guys)

so forgive me..if I was trying to point out that its alittle hypocritical to think one generalisation is ok (women are all x) but another isnt (men are all y) becaue Im sure as hell PLENTY of men would disagree with my little generalisation up there

so yeah..Im sorry for "teching you a lesson"

but heres my rant (and no Im not reffering to you, I dont know you) but when some fat fuck on a computer who makes WOW is one devotion in life, who's so shy and socially awkward he loses the ability to speak in the presance of a women...he remains unsuccesful...he wonders why..HE HAS TO FUCKING WONDER WHY??!!! when he gets rejected, when his freind wont "discover" her love for him..and he goes off and decided that OBVOUSLY all women are just shallow bitches and wont give him the time of day..or "manipulative bitches" like his freind....obviously its not his probelem (again Im not directing that at you, just at a general steryotype)

of coarse perfectly fine unsucessful guys feel like that too...and mabye they arnt actually mysoganist or hate women....but those generalisations actualy kinda hurt on some small level....

*sigh* I dont know....Im just angry is all,

 

[pearcinator]

Sounds like it's just your aspergers really...

"difficulties in social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests"

Sounds like you are 'seeing' signs of attraction or distrust when it's not either. I'm not trying to offend you, I am just saying that in my experience people with asperger's have difficulty making sense of other people's behaviour and interact with them in peculiar ways.

I doubt that the girls thought you were a sexual deviant...I just think they probably find you a bit strange. Again, I am not trying to offend you. Neither am I 'sticking up' for the girls. Just be yourself and don't think too deeply about things...that just makes things harder.

 

[Phisi]

Interesting statistics. Though I think you might have a problem with your research because if one of "those women" would have accepted your lift would they still come under that heading? You appear to be basing your definition of "those women" by how they react to your actions instead of some common aspect. Or alternatively there is some other reason such as "those women" being defined by their social status or ideas such as what being cool is. They are in these social circles because they are pretty and thus other people in these circles go out of their way to include the other pretty people. That said I think this is a load of bollocks.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

#AreYouSeriousBro?

He's clearly stated it's not all women, just a select few that fit his description.

Dude did state afterwards he does think he has issues with women.
And even if its just a `select few` who dont return his smiles on the street, why should they?
They dont know him, they don't owe him a smile just for him being there.

So he has, my bad.

However, I don't know the rejection to the drive home seemed overly harsh to me.

 

[MammothBlade]

But lately I have noticed that a certain type of female has some strange aversion to me.
I think we all know the type: average intelligence, pretty, big social life but intellectually starving. There is no way I want to be with people like them, but I am still nice and polite to them, because that is my nature.

No, I don't know this type you speak of. It's not good to lump either gender together based on such broad characteristics.

 

[MammothBlade]

It's not good to lump women together based on such broad characteristics.

sure it is... stereotypes and generalizations are massive time savers... just think of all that time you waste getting to know people before judging them...

Don't get me wrong, I do pre-emptively judge people based on certain things. I can tell when I'm probably not going to get along with someone. It's just the way OP is doing it which somehow doesn't make sense and probably makes him alienate the women he describes.