Paragon Fury said:
So perhaps today was just out to get me, but damn I hate days like today. When everything seems to just exist to remind me what a sad lonely loser I am.
So after being mildly insulted in class by a female I had liked, watching everyone and their girlfriend/boyfriend out enjoying the nice day, and having to sit behind a group of women in another class discussing whats "wrong with those guys who play games" and "watch those weird Asian cartoons", I had the pleasure of having to watch some random sophomore (I'm in college) get to sit and eat dinner with no less than 6 different fairly attractive women who came up to him to sit with him. While I sat by myself for the 4 year in a row. And then watch as no less than three of them were almost sitting on him within 5 minutes.
Needless to say, I was just a bit irked. I mean, really, how the fuck can people be so lucky? I mean, did I just get shafted in that department? Here I am, can barely get the time of day from women and people like him have women basically throwing themselves at them.
I mean, I could accept that, yes, fine, some guys through no fault of their just will never have any luck finding women. But does life really need to remind them that they suck and that they've failed at something like that at almost every opportunity?
It is less a question of how attractive you are (although it helps), or how fit you are (although it helps), or how wealthy you are (although it helps) when it comes to attracting women...or anyone, for that matter. Yes, being a handsome, wealthy douchebag might attract a certain type of woman...one that is probably perfectly aware of what a douchebag you are and considers it an acceptable loss. But chalking it all up to genetics or "those crazy girls and their crazy preferences" is defeatist and ridiculous. You need to make yourself someone who is fun and/or interesting to spend time with. You might think you are, already, because you enjoy your own company. But if you're sad and lonely and bereft of friends and romantic companionship, odds are there is work to do.
People...women included...like to spend time around people who make them feel good about themselves. Whether that's because you share their interests, or treat them well, or just radiate positive energy. And note that "treating them well" doesn't necessarily mean courting them, which can seem like kindness but often comes off like pressure.
Consider your sad sack OP.
"Today was out to get me"
"Damn I hate today"
"What a sad, lonely loser I am"
"Insulted by a female I HAD liked"
"How can people be so lucky"
"How can I be so shafted"
"Sucked, failed, etc"
Look, Eyeore. I know this sort of thing can be depressing, but you need to step up and stop wallowing in this loathsome miasma of self pity. It is not becoming. It is not attractive. It makes you bitter, obnoxious, and self-obsessed. It makes you a miserable, draining person to spend time with, not the tragic romantic figure you likely imagine yourself as. While you're working on ditching the "woe is me" crap, also consider ditching the low level misogyny. It's not as subtle as you think it is, women will pick up on it, and it won't shame them into liking you more.
There are girls that enjoy anime and gaming. I should know, I'm dating one. They're not that rare, especially in your generation. They probably won't want to spend any time with you either, though, with you acting like this.
So...really...do you want a girlfriend? More friends? Less lonely? Clean up your act. Be the kind of person you'd want to spend time with. Don't make your hobbies the entirety of who you are. Take an interest in the rest of the world. If you don't want to excel at sports or business, excel at intellectual pursuits. Be well spoken. Be INTERESTING. Talk about things that other people like as well as the things you like, and let them talk, too. Learn to listen. Take a genuine interest in who other people are...their hobbies, their personality. Compliment them...not because you want to wheedle them into a relationship, but because you want them to feel good about themselves. Be funny. Be positive. Be confident, but be humble. Be generous. And you know what? You could be the ugliest nerd in school, and you'd have plenty of people more than willing to date/spend time with you.
