Girl Magnets

[Ambi]

Do you look like an anime nerd? Alternatively, are you an uninteresting person or appear uninviting to strangers?

I look like a nerdier version of this guy, with a bad, in-curable acne problem:

Spoiler

[/spoiler]

And no, that is not hyperbole or an exaggeration.

d'awwww. I imagine that to be quite cute, actually.

Anyway, I don't really have much to add, I agree with the confidence and working for what you want thing. Just try not to care to much, just enjoy yourself. That's generally attractive. What is different about you may make you indispensable for someone someday.

Also, has a dermatologist actually told you your acne is incurable?

 

[IncredibleTurnip]

Spoiler: Girl magnet?

But it could be worse. Every girl seems to want to be just friends with me....

It's like torture.

 

[DrgoFx]

I'm going to say this as best I can, and explain it as best I can. I'm a 17 year old guy, heading to college once I'm old enough and my girlfriend finishes her classes. Before I met said girlfriend, I was a girl magnet to the type of girls I hated. The girls that were attracted to me were typically the annoying 13 year-old girls that look like they're 16, or something along those lines and at the time I couldn't stand their immaturity and I went after much older girls. The older girls took time and patience to strike a relationship with but once that time was good enough, they typically found another guy.

So coming from someone who is a girl magnet to some extent and judging by the fact as I've grown older, I've gotten more girls after me, I'll say this. It's not as good as it sounds. For some one like myself that requires a loving relationship where both members exchange equally and the entire thing is not built around sex, being a "babe magnet" is just a pain in the ass to me. Actually, when I visited my girlfriend early in our relationship, her sister told me she was having a computer issue. Her sister's a year young than me so this isn't like a 22 year old or a 12 year old. I found that the computer wasn't plugged in so I went under the desk and all I heard was giggling during this. Yes, my girlfriend's sister made me get on my hands and knees to stare at my ass. I can't believe I was so oblivious to it, too.

 

[teisjm]

I constructed a girl magnet once, it worked really well.
Getting the girls with the magnet was easy, getting them to feel anythign but rage about beeing abducted was not, if the magnet hadn't held them to it like a regular magnet hold a tight grip on iron, i would've been stiletto-stomped into oblivion.
Then came law-enforcement, and all the angry men whose girlfriends, wifes and daugthers had been sucked up by my creation, accusing me of abduction, and generally wanting to whoop my ass just as much as the girls.
Luckily, my one-shot teleporter got me safely to my secret lair hidden inside an underground volcano.
Now i need to change my face.

On a more serious note, why on earth would you want to attract girls who despise what you like? Would you honestly care enough for their company to give up your interrests, to pretend to be something they could like for the sake of their lousy company (not all girls are lousy, those who despise what you are, for you lousy)

Once again, I find myself wishing this site had a like button; the humor is full of win, and the actual advice needs to be quoted for truth. Of course, making yourself presentable and having enough confidence to at least be comfortable talking to girls helps, too.

This is no humor... I am a wanted man.
I got pics to proove it...

Spoiler: proof

This is directly ripped form my security camera, and put through a "drawn-hastily" filter, to hide my true identity.

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

Okaaay, it's like this. Those aren't the girls for you. They aren't the girls for me. I don't want the swarmy, 'trying to get the hot guy' girls, and I don't think you do either.

I'm a lil late, and there's already been plenty of people giving advice, but whatever. College is a pretty good place to meet girls, (I imagine, I dunno, we do school differently here), but not at lunch. Do it through things you know and your interests. Study groups, extra-curricular, department balls or whatever.

But, again, I don't know how stuff works over there, I don't know who you are or what you're like, I don't know what you're after or how you look, but there you go, I'm trying to dispense basic help anyway.

Also, try some nice dark, good quality jeans and a basic, well fitting white shirt. I've been sporting that sort of thing for a while now (Add suit jacket for extra awesomeness), and it does a decent job of turning heads. Should boost your confidence.

Good luck out there buddy.

 

[Zer_]

Of course, magnetism!

That explains it all. Women aren't humans with complex needs, wants, and opinions. It's so obvious! Actually, wait. Fucking magnets, how do they work?

So yeah, girls more complex than magnetism, which is itself pretty complex. And some people are just really good at physics. Or getting women. Stephen Hawking is both.

Pretty much this.

OP: Get over yourself. I'm a woman and I HARDLY have men flocking after me for my company. You know, I would say that I am also not a completely hideous creature in personality nor appearance. At the most I've had two boyfriends both in the long term and I've been single for the past 3 years with only one or two guys approaching me ever (all were creepers, pulling the whole "stalk for HOURS to the dorm room and THEN ask to be boyfriend and girlfriend instead of a number and a date first") and you know what, who cares? If people can't enjoy you for you, then you don't need them as partners.

Maybe you should try online dating? I've met a decent guy there. Dunno if we can do much, but hey, better than nothing right?

SNIP

Whoa whoa. Lay off the guy a little there sparky. I know what he's going through, and just chill. The OP needs to chill too. It takes time but if you take a more relaxed approach to almost everything, then it will rub off on even the most difficult situations, like talking to women.

I get aprehensive when I speak to women, and it sucks, but I've been getting better over time, so I know eventually I'll be relaxed. You'd be surprised at how big of a difference that will make.

Also having a bunch of women surrounding you may sound like a great thing, but in reality it means almost nothing. He could be super good looking, but it's all useless if he doesn't have the personality to back it up.

 

[catalyst8]

So yeah, girls more complex than magnetism, which is itself pretty complex. And some people are just really good at physics. Or getting women. Stephen Hawking is both.

Stephen Hawking? What? How is he good at getting woman? Is there something I'm not seeing at's really obvious to everyone else?

The really obvious things are that men & women are generally attracted to intelligent, witty people. They're some of the fundamental qualities of charisma. An individual can be strikingly handsome or beautiful, but if they're a vacuous drone then worse than being unattractive they're dull.

 

[similar.squirrel]

It's only about 40% luck. The rest is effort, and you don't seem to be making it.

Edit: I'm not trying to be nasty, because I'm in more or less the same situation. Don't have a great deal of confidence or social skills, only women I have dated have approached me because I looked 'cute'. Then abandoned ship once the novelty wore off.
But you have to put things in perspective and see that maybe you're the problem. That way you can start fixing it.

 

[staika]

Who needs girls anyway right, Dammit if they can't see the charm we have then who needs them.
<== Sitting alone right now.

OT: Some guys get a lot of girls because.......... wait why do they? I guess girls just gravitate to those people for some reason I don't know of. I have learned one trick though if you look like you have no confidence then girls won't want to date you but if you look confident they still don't want to date you..... I mean you have a better chance of getting a date. Take it from me I've sat alone so many times in my life that I couldn't count the number.

 

[Cowabungaa]

You seem desperate. I think women can see that. Or smell it.

I figured as much for myself. I usually have a sunny enough disposition, I take care of my phyiscal looks and usually am self-confident enough I think. Yet I seem to have some kind of girl repellent, even before they can find out what kind of hobbies and interests I am.

But honestly, I don't know how to be not desperate. I really try not to be, but I just can't suppress that yearning for love, companionship and warmth that having a good relationship brings.

 

[valkeminator]

Do not be desperate, be charismatic, use your wits and impress.

Although I have to say from my experience, the world you believe in is the one you will live in, and what will you build towards...

Just take it easy

 

[Dastardly]

snip

Realistic possible answers?

1. He probably already knew them, and this was not some random fly-by.
2. He might be gay. Seriously, gay guys are big stuff with girls in college.
3. Shallow girls love guys with money, or the appearance of money. Sad, but hard fact.

Now, that concludes the list about them.

4. Even from your post, you're demonstrating a fairly aggressive desperation.
5. Also, you're too sensitive to what others think about you (or don't).
6. Part of your problem is you were sitting there watching this all happen, apparently to the degree that you even know this other guy is a sophomore. You're watching life happen, and using that data to find excuses for why it's not happening to you. It's not happening because you're watching someone else's life.

Please don't think I'm trying to insult you, or that I think anything ill of you. I completely sympathize, having gone through it myself in college. That's why I'm telling you the things I wish someone had told me then.

Some of it, I discovered on my own sophomore year -- I found what worked for me, and I started using it to my advantage. I was the smart, entertaining, understanding guy. I wasn't the "alpha male" of the group, but I was a strong "supporting character" you could say. So I patrolled the fringes, played to my strengths, and broke out of my self-imposed isolation.

You know what? After awhile, I didn't like who I'd become. I was doing my thing, but for his reasons--"him" being that guy I wanted to be like, y'know, the one with all the girls. I ended up hurting some people, because I wanted to win the game. I'd forgotten that the "NPCs" in this game I'd been beating were other people. And that's what the problem was all along.

It's not a game to win or lose. They're people. And you're a person, too. Focus on finding out what kind of person you are, and then be that person. They're out there right now, doing the exact same. Some are further along than you, and others just seem like it. Find out what makes you work, instead of just watching other people find what works for them.

 

[HardkorSB]

So perhaps today was just out to get me, but damn I hate days like today. When everything seems to just exist to remind me what a sad lonely loser I am.

So after being mildly insulted in class by a female I had liked, watching everyone and their girlfriend/boyfriend out enjoying the nice day, and having to sit behind a group of women in another class discussing whats "wrong with those guys who play games" and "watch those weird Asian cartoons", I had the pleasure of having to watch some random sophomore (I'm in college) get to sit and eat dinner with no less than 6 different fairly attractive women who came up to him to sit with him. While I sat by myself for the 4 year in a row. And then watch as no less than three of them were almost sitting on him within 5 minutes.

Needless to say, I was just a bit irked. I mean, really, how the fuck can people be so lucky? I mean, did I just get shafted in that department? Here I am, can barely get the time of day from women and people like him have women basically throwing themselves at them.

I mean, I could accept that, yes, fine, some guys through no fault of their just will never have any luck finding women. But does life really need to remind them that they suck and that they've failed at something like that at almost every opportunity?

1. Lose the "I'm worthless" attitude, it won't help you
2. Instead of "sitting alone 4th year in a row", try to actually socialize with other people. Sure, they may laugh at you and tell you to fuck off but there are 7 billion people in the world so who gives a fuck if 5-6 of them won't like you?
3. Talk to girls - you won't know what is it that they're looking for if you won't talk to them (plus, you'll get more experienced at talking to them with each next try, you'll learn patterns in their behaviour, after a while you'll know what to say before the conversation starts)
4. Be confident in yourself - how can girls like you if you don't even like yourself?

That's all I can think of at the moment.

 

[Paragon Fury]

I think I should probably clear a few things up here.

1: I liked the women before I found out that they were anime/game hating asses. I no longer like them, even if I find them physically attractive.

2: Up here at college, the ratio of men to women is 7:1.

3: Its kind of hard to hide the fact that I'm a nerd. I mean, hell, I have a Kiskae Urahara hat and my room has a poster of Major Kusanagi and my new Gears of War 3 poster as its only decorations. (Soon to be joined by the GoW3 Epic Edition swag though)

4: I guess I might seem desperate, but I spend most of my time by myself, so I'm not sure where they'd get that impression from.

 

[Wait...What]

Do you look like an anime nerd? Alternatively, are you an uninteresting person or appear uninviting to strangers? Women are people with their own opinions, not pieces of metal. If you're not an interesting person or aren't outgoing enough to make friends, you are unlikely to get attention from other people.

Change yourself, it's more productive than complaining about why other people aren't doing what you want.

This. The type of girls you're talking about generally don't like the same things you do (from how you described it) so you have 2 choices. 1) Change yourself to become more attractive to these sorts of girls. Gym is usually a good place to start. I bulked up when i started playing Lacrosse and sure enough after a few months at the gym the sorts of girls you talk about started talking to me and showing interest....its awesome .

2) Try and find girls who share your interests. No point trying to be with a girl who doesn't like the same things you do.

Stop bitching and do something about it.

 

[JaceArveduin]

Hmm, I've been single all of my life and most people who aren't familiar with me tend to try and avoid me.

Of course it's mostly intentional, I tend to keep a neutral expression that's usually makes me seem like an unhappy bastard who doesn't know how to have fun. I guess I have confidence, I do know my limits, I just get by on "oh well, I don't really care enough to try"

>.<" Though I will admit I probably do need to get laid. o well, it's on the to do list?

 

[archvile93]

Just do what I do, remind yourself that relationships are a complete waste of time and resources that provide you with no worthwhile benifit of any kind. Granted I realized that before I even started considering talking to girls so I've never been crushed by getting shot down, but I still think it'll work for you.