Well, first off: Let me apologize for being more or less new here, and already complaining to all of you about my problems.
Secondly: The only reason I post this here is because of the intelligent community, and because all my other sources failed. Including parents =/
Thirdly: I can't really ask the question before you know the story, and the story I have here is the ultra-compressed version, which will make little sense.
So.. There's this girl I've known for about two years that I put on a pedestal on sight. Then this year (well.. last) we started talking, and we started talking a lot. After about a month of hanging out (going to movies etc.) we had a night at her house with some of her friends where I confessed that I really like her. She told me that I was bound for disappointment followed by holding hands, and eventually, for lack of a better word, 'cuddling.' Things sorta went on like this, and the talking turned from MSN to Phone, to the level where her parents put up a phone in her room beside her bed. We talked every single day for about three months. Then a month after that first night, we had a night where she confessed that she likes my best friend, and has for quite a while, throughout all that has happened between us. She likes him the same way I like her (constantly thinking about him etc.)
She then proceeded to ask me to hang out with her like we used to that night, which I did. This led to a first kiss (as we both wanted it) and then to kissing throughout the night into the morning. (Whirlwind, yes?) I broke down for a while after that, and she couldn't handle me, so we didn't talk that much. We started talking a bit more, saw a few movies, but I was more or less in the same state of mind as before. Then on Christmas Eve of all days, she said something that made it sound like everything we've had was worth nothing, and meant nothing. I stopped talking to her for a few days, and she really persisted. When we talked again, it was more or less like before.
Then, on New Years, the original plan was something along the lines of going to her house, spending it with her, but on the night of at around 9pm, she decided not to spend it with me. She called later at around 2am regretting her decision and wishing that I was there. We spent Jan 1st together into the 2nd, and more or less repeated the second night I mentioned. Then this past Friday, another day I expected to spend with just her was spent with her friends and me. I was disappointed, a little angry, and said some mean/rude things that night that changed what she thinks of me, and what her friends must think of me. This is I believe one of the greatest regrets of my life.
Some general things: -Whenever she talks to my best friend (not very often) I feel really bad and don't know what to expect.
-She doesn't really let me know if we're going to spend a day together until the day of, but I'm very likely to hope, and very likely to set myself up for disappointment.
-I've told her I love her-something I believe to be true.
Uhh.. this probably wont make much sense, probably no real answers that anyone can give... probably over thinking, overreacting, and under experienced(Im 17) to be taking things this way.
This girl pretty much walked out of my dreams, expanded all the possibilities, made me truly happy.
But now, I think back and think that she's always felt that about my best friend, and I have no idea what to do.
Continue? Make both of us happy?
Move on? If so, how can I do that?
*sigh* Thanks in advance for any answers anyone can give.. good luck giving it.
~Sirsolo
Secondly: The only reason I post this here is because of the intelligent community, and because all my other sources failed. Including parents =/
Thirdly: I can't really ask the question before you know the story, and the story I have here is the ultra-compressed version, which will make little sense.
So.. There's this girl I've known for about two years that I put on a pedestal on sight. Then this year (well.. last) we started talking, and we started talking a lot. After about a month of hanging out (going to movies etc.) we had a night at her house with some of her friends where I confessed that I really like her. She told me that I was bound for disappointment followed by holding hands, and eventually, for lack of a better word, 'cuddling.' Things sorta went on like this, and the talking turned from MSN to Phone, to the level where her parents put up a phone in her room beside her bed. We talked every single day for about three months. Then a month after that first night, we had a night where she confessed that she likes my best friend, and has for quite a while, throughout all that has happened between us. She likes him the same way I like her (constantly thinking about him etc.)
She then proceeded to ask me to hang out with her like we used to that night, which I did. This led to a first kiss (as we both wanted it) and then to kissing throughout the night into the morning. (Whirlwind, yes?) I broke down for a while after that, and she couldn't handle me, so we didn't talk that much. We started talking a bit more, saw a few movies, but I was more or less in the same state of mind as before. Then on Christmas Eve of all days, she said something that made it sound like everything we've had was worth nothing, and meant nothing. I stopped talking to her for a few days, and she really persisted. When we talked again, it was more or less like before.
Then, on New Years, the original plan was something along the lines of going to her house, spending it with her, but on the night of at around 9pm, she decided not to spend it with me. She called later at around 2am regretting her decision and wishing that I was there. We spent Jan 1st together into the 2nd, and more or less repeated the second night I mentioned. Then this past Friday, another day I expected to spend with just her was spent with her friends and me. I was disappointed, a little angry, and said some mean/rude things that night that changed what she thinks of me, and what her friends must think of me. This is I believe one of the greatest regrets of my life.
Some general things: -Whenever she talks to my best friend (not very often) I feel really bad and don't know what to expect.
-She doesn't really let me know if we're going to spend a day together until the day of, but I'm very likely to hope, and very likely to set myself up for disappointment.
-I've told her I love her-something I believe to be true.
Uhh.. this probably wont make much sense, probably no real answers that anyone can give... probably over thinking, overreacting, and under experienced(Im 17) to be taking things this way.
This girl pretty much walked out of my dreams, expanded all the possibilities, made me truly happy.
But now, I think back and think that she's always felt that about my best friend, and I have no idea what to do.
Continue? Make both of us happy?
Move on? If so, how can I do that?
*sigh* Thanks in advance for any answers anyone can give.. good luck giving it.
~Sirsolo
