Girl troubles (Is there any other kind?)

[Uncompetative]

Tell your best friend.
Find out if he feels the same way about her.
Find out why he hasn't acted sooner.
Find out why she hasn't made moves on him.

He will probably not be interested and advise you to ditch her.

If so and only if so...

Mischievous plan ensues:

Ask him if he's up to "getting her back". He's your best friend right?
Tell him the whole of this plan and get him to agree with it.

Arrange a meeting with her and have him 'turn up'.
Tell him that you can't keep it from him any longer and that he must know about your involvement with her.
He will get "cross".
Before she has a chance to fathom this reaction tell him that she really likes him more than you.
Your friend will then say "but I'm not bisexual" hold your gaze, then your hand and then start openly snogging you - ignoring her.

- Just a suggestion

 

[sirsolo]

Tell your best friend.
Find out if he feels the same way about her.
Find out why he hasn't acted sooner.
Find out why she hasn't made moves on him...........

Before she has a chance to fathom this reaction tell him that she really likes him more than you.
Your friend will then say "but I'm not bisexual" hold your gaze, then your hand and then start openly snogging you - ignoring her.

- Just a suggestion

Epic.

But yes. She's told him, he's known, he's not interested in the least... She sorta was making a move on him the very first time we hung out...
It was us three.. she didnt know I liked her then, and was more interested in hanging out with him.. I just happened to be there, etc. They used to talk, but when we started talking, my friend kinda ceased talking to her. =/ Its a big mess.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Pack your shit up and throw it into the sunshine. Its easier to understand what shes thinking and your thinking if its in clearer terms.

 

[Bagaloo]

Silver: You have all my golden tokens. Go spend them on dance dance revolution.

Seriously, that's pretty much what I wanted to hear =P
Thank you

Isn't this just listening to what you want to hear? What was the point in this thread if everyones advice can be counterbalanced by the one possitive guy? Who knows, maybe this one guy is right and that is the perfect way things will work out, but I highly doubt that. Lifes a ***** like that.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Silver: You have all my golden tokens. Go spend them on dance dance revolution.

Seriously, that's pretty much what I wanted to hear =P
Thank you

Isn't this just listening to what you want to hear? What was the point in this thread if everyones advice can be counterbalanced by the one possitive guy? Who knows, maybe this one guy is right and that is the perfect way things will work out, but I highly doubt that. Lifes a ***** like that.

As posted earlier, lifes cycle is very simple. You eat, shit, sleep, fuck, get hurt, die.(Not in that order of course.)

 

[meatloaf231]

Run. Run as fast as you can.

 

[Bagaloo]

As posted earlier, lifes cycle is very simple. You eat, shit, sleep, fuck, get hurt, die.(Not in that order of course.)

Just because its simple doesn't mean it can't be a *****?
Yeah, you can break life down into the basics like that, but that ignores the emotional side of it, does it not? And a life without emotion isn't really a life now, is it?

 

[Easykill]

If you like her that much, isn't it enough to just make her happy in any way you can? Do you actually need to be part of it instead of just being a supportive friend? Or am I the only person who thinks like that?

 

[sirsolo]

Mmm... Good point Frag.. I don't know. I just think that something like that is likely what Im going to do. Of course I wont do just that, and Ill probably consider all of the physical separations, but that's not likely. We have half a year left, and she's in one of my classes. But after that, Im probably going to work for a year, and she's probably off to university. Sooner or later, there is going to be a physical separation, at which point things will be figured out. I'd just rather have it happen later.

Easy: Yeah... that Also makes a lot of sense, and is also likely to happen.. but again: My most likely course of action is to see how this plays out with a little less involvement from me. Most of the bad things that have happened have happened because I had expectations of each event. I think a lot of that is out the window based on how that hasn't really worked yet.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

As posted earlier, lifes cycle is very simple. You eat, shit, sleep, fuck, get hurt, die.(Not in that order of course.)

Just because its simple doesn't mean it can't be a *****?
Yeah, you can break life down into the basics like that, but that ignores the emotional side of it, does it not? And a life without emotion isn't really a life now, is it?

I thought the get hurt described that?

If you like her that much, isn't it enough to just make her happy in any way you can? Do you actually need to be part of it instead of just being a supportive friend? Or am I the only person who thinks like that?

Your not the only one.

 

[Uncompetative]

Tell your best friend.
Find out if he feels the same way about her.
Find out why he hasn't acted sooner.
Find out why she hasn't made moves on him...........

Before she has a chance to fathom this reaction tell him that she really likes him more than you.
Your friend will then say "but I'm not bisexual" hold your gaze, then your hand and then start openly snogging you - ignoring her.

- Just a suggestion

Epic.

But yes. She's told him, he's known, he's not interested in the least... She sorta was making a move on him the very first time we hung out...
It was us three.. she didnt know I liked her then, and was more interested in hanging out with him.. I just happened to be there, etc. They used to talk, but when we started talking, my friend kinda ceased talking to her. =/ Its a big mess.

Now that you've said that I think I have enough information to see things from her point of view...

She likes your friend. She doesn't mind your company, hence you and her. However, she really likes your friend better. He is being a good friend by keeping out of it, not that he likes her anyway, but some other guys wouldn't say no to a girl who was obviously after them. Yet, she doesn't want to have a bad breakup with you as she thinks that will make your friend hate her on your behalf and she really doesn't want that even if she can never have him and accepts this fact. What a mess.

You seem sensitive and she seems 'empathic' so the only way out is for you to be less emotional and give her the confidence to split. Realistically it would be better if you could end things with her on the grounds that she likes your friend better even though you know that no one is going to get a relationship out of this as a result. So, a cordial mutual separation and 'cooling off period' is advised.

However, do not be shocked rigid if your friend does go out with her once you are physically and emotionally 'out of the picture' - and don't be angry with him if he does this, he has waited long enough in this near classic love triangle.

 

[Iceman23]

Tell your best friend.
Find out if he feels the same way about her.
Find out why he hasn't acted sooner.
Find out why she hasn't made moves on him...........

Before she has a chance to fathom this reaction tell him that she really likes him more than you.
Your friend will then say "but I'm not bisexual" hold your gaze, then your hand and then start openly snogging you - ignoring her.

- Just a suggestion

Epic.

But yes. She's told him, he's known, he's not interested in the least... She sorta was making a move on him the very first time we hung out...
It was us three.. she didnt know I liked her then, and was more interested in hanging out with him.. I just happened to be there, etc. They used to talk, but when we started talking, my friend kinda ceased talking to her. =/ Its a big mess.

Not to sound like a pessimist, but if she likes your friend, has told him this even though he has rejected her, and still likes him more than you, she may just be using you as a bit of a temporary guy to satisfy her desires with another person until she can find a way to move on to him.

I would do what the others have suggested here Sirsolo, just sever your ties to this girl, let it go. You may not want to at the current time, but believe me, if what I'm getting from her descriptions is right, you'll be a lot happier without her than you would be with her. You'll get used to being single, it's not so bad really,

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Tell your best friend.
Find out if he feels the same way about her.
Find out why he hasn't acted sooner.
Find out why she hasn't made moves on him...........

Before she has a chance to fathom this reaction tell him that she really likes him more than you.
Your friend will then say "but I'm not bisexual" hold your gaze, then your hand and then start openly snogging you - ignoring her.

- Just a suggestion

Epic.

But yes. She's told him, he's known, he's not interested in the least... She sorta was making a move on him the very first time we hung out...
It was us three.. she didnt know I liked her then, and was more interested in hanging out with him.. I just happened to be there, etc. They used to talk, but when we started talking, my friend kinda ceased talking to her. =/ Its a big mess.

Not to sound like a pessimist, but if she likes your friend, has told him this even though he has rejected her, and still likes him more than you, she may just be using you as a bit of a temporary guy to satisfy her desires with another person until she can find a way to move on to him.

I would do what the others have suggested here Sirsolo, just sever your ties to this girl, let it go. You may not want to at the current time, but believe me, if what I'm getting from her descriptions is right, you'll be a lot happier without her than you would be with her. You'll get used to being single, it's not so bad really,

Single for 14 years.(I did get some grab-assing at around age six with another girl my age. )

And otherwise, happy.

 

[Iceman23]

Tell your best friend.
Find out if he feels the same way about her.
Find out why he hasn't acted sooner.
Find out why she hasn't made moves on him...........

Before she has a chance to fathom this reaction tell him that she really likes him more than you.
Your friend will then say "but I'm not bisexual" hold your gaze, then your hand and then start openly snogging you - ignoring her.

- Just a suggestion

Epic.

But yes. She's told him, he's known, he's not interested in the least... She sorta was making a move on him the very first time we hung out...
It was us three.. she didnt know I liked her then, and was more interested in hanging out with him.. I just happened to be there, etc. They used to talk, but when we started talking, my friend kinda ceased talking to her. =/ Its a big mess.

Not to sound like a pessimist, but if she likes your friend, has told him this even though he has rejected her, and still likes him more than you, she may just be using you as a bit of a temporary guy to satisfy her desires with another person until she can find a way to move on to him.

I would do what the others have suggested here Sirsolo, just sever your ties to this girl, let it go. You may not want to at the current time, but believe me, if what I'm getting from her descriptions is right, you'll be a lot happier without her than you would be with her. You'll get used to being single, it's not so bad really,

Single for 14 years.(I did get some grab-assing at around age six with another girl my age. )

And otherwise, happy.

Heh, I think grab assing at the age of six is a little off topic, but I will give you points for getting me to laugh.

But back on topic myself here, I may have been a little too pessimistic with my first paragraph in the previous comment, unless she's been actively trying to get to your friend while being with you, I would ignore that bit.

Regardless, however I would still recommend letting it go, re-reading your original description of her, it would seem that things have been a little hectic between you two more than once in regards to being together and now may just be the time to break up and fly solo for a little while.

Best of luck to you Sirsolo.

 

[sirsolo]

Hmm.. I still don't really know in regards to myself. (Iceman: She hasn't really been trying to get with him, but has been Kinda trying to make small talk with him, that he's refused) There are few things that I cannot do, and that is go back on something like loving someone. If I go back on it, then there's not much that I can trust within myself anymore... but like I've said before: Putting on cruise control, see how things go...

Time heals all wounds, yes? It also makes trees grow. (Metaphors ftw?)

Edit: To Blues below:... Man.... every new post just seems to make more and more sense.. obviously, Im also very confused myself, but that probably makes a lot of sense.

Sirsolo's Mother: She wont realize she wants you if she can get you off the store shelf at any moment she wants.

 

[Good morning blues]

It will never happen. You will never be with her. The reason for this is that you have, by your own admission, put her on a pedestal, and positioned yourself as the guy she can come to whenever she wants without you expecting anything in return, which is great for when she wants to feel good about herself, but shitty for you because in her eyes you are now nothing more than an easy ego boost, and that just isn't attractive. If she's feeling down, she can make herself feel better by making out with you all night, and then she can just cut you loose and go back to the guys she's actually interested in with some more confidence.

I personally wouldn't cut her out of my life, but I would most definitely forget about her in a romantic sense and move on. Don't make moves, don't press it, just meet some new girls and flirt with them instead.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

It will never happen. You will never be with her. The reason for this is that you have, by your own admission, put her on a pedestal, and positioned yourself as the guy she can come to whenever she wants without you expecting anything in return, which is great for when she wants to feel good about herself, but shitty for you because in her eyes you are now nothing more than an easy ego boost, and that just isn't attractive. If she's feeling down, she can make herself feel better by making out with you all night, and then she can just cut you loose and go back to the guys she's actually interested in with some more confidence.

I personally wouldn't cut her out of my life, but I would most definitely forget about her in a romantic sense and move on. Don't make moves, don't press it, just meet some new girls and flirt with them instead.

Selflessness in the face of temptation. Got hand it to the kid.

 

[Good morning blues]

It will never happen. You will never be with her. The reason for this is that you have, by your own admission, put her on a pedestal, and positioned yourself as the guy she can come to whenever she wants without you expecting anything in return, which is great for when she wants to feel good about herself, but shitty for you because in her eyes you are now nothing more than an easy ego boost, and that just isn't attractive. If she's feeling down, she can make herself feel better by making out with you all night, and then she can just cut you loose and go back to the guys she's actually interested in with some more confidence.

I personally wouldn't cut her out of my life, but I would most definitely forget about her in a romantic sense and move on. Don't make moves, don't press it, just meet some new girls and flirt with them instead.

Selflessness in the face of temptation. Got hand it to the kid.

He's not being selfless, he's allowing her to take advantage of her. I'm not even saying that she has malicious intent, I'm just saying that it's not healthy for either of them, especially him, and that he should get over it and move on to someone else. Which he will. And he'll think he was a complete idiot. Lord knows I was a complete idiot when I was 17, largely due to situations eerily similar to this one.

 

[Silver]

Silver: You have all my golden tokens. Go spend them on dance dance revolution.

Seriously, that's pretty much what I wanted to hear =P
Thank you

Isn't this just listening to what you want to hear? What was the point in this thread if everyones advice can be counterbalanced by the one possitive guy? Who knows, maybe this one guy is right and that is the perfect way things will work out, but I highly doubt that. Lifes a ***** like that.

Hearing someone else say what you believe all along may prove to you that you're not insane, that there may be hope that you are right.

If you were all alone in your belief in something, with everyone telling you that you were wrong, and that should act in another way, wouldn't you begin to doubt, no matter how much you believed? To hear another agree with you, to hear another say the things that you believe, could in this situation mean very much. I'm not saying I had this effect, but maybe partially.



I'm glad my post was appreciated, and I hope my advice can help. It has sure helped my own mental health a lot, I used to brood and over-analyze things a lot, for far longer than I should have. It cost me a lot more than I'd like to admit, even to myself. Changing the way I saw things into what I described has helped me immensly. If I could help someone else avoid the pit I fell in, then I too will feel better, and maybe we'll both be a little more hopeful for tomorrow. Who knows, after a while we may have brightened a lot of people's days, and what more could I wish for really, than to bring smiles to the faces of the people around me?

 

[Untamed Waters]

I'll reiterate what other people said.

She's playing with you.

Don't go there, I went there somewhat, but I broke off with her, and it'll still suck, but it's a good thing.

(Considering if she lived in my town she'd be stalking me )

((And I'm not really joking... met her at church and she still thinks I like her. We've been over for months))