God damn, Escapist. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad.

[Jakub324]

As half a million people have said, try for a job and pay it all off, then maybe a bit more and you should be OK.

 

[NnEtT]

Oh man i have the exact same feelings, never understood the mutual conflagration of hundreds of people when you could instead have a couple of close friends.

 

[steampunk42]

it happens man, you broke your parents trust, only thing you can really do now is try to find a way to regain their trust...it wont be easy i promise

 

[KiKiweaky]

I wouldnt say its entirely your fault, you threw a party and invited some friends over big deal. So does everyone, your mistake was inviting too many people or allowing your friends to invite people you didnt know. Or it could just be that some of your friends are morons and decided to get way too drunk.

Ive had plenty of parties in my house when my parents are away and nothing has ever been damaged and I reckon I've had maybe 20 - 25 people over at some of them. Leave your friends under no illusions of what is going to happen if they break things or treat your house and its contents with a lack of respect.

 

[Weslebear]

Snip.

To put it bluntly, you acted like an immature ****, your parents trusted you and you then you pull this shit because "I REALLY LIKE PARTIES".

Not even close to any excuse for you, you fucked up and you know it. Apologise and earn back their trust.

Seriously you didn't even attempt to make it out like you were in the right, you made it blatantly obvious you have no one to blame but yourself so asking for help is useless.


We all do stupid shit and I hope this made you realise you need to grow up somewhat and not make this mistake again, I wouldn't have you in my house if you pulled this more than once, and you would be paying for EVERYTHING.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

That really isn

 

[Comma-Kazie]

I wouldn't have held the party in the first place! You're on your own with this.

 

[GundamSentinel]

Also probably cut back on the partying for a while

Well, maybe at my own house, yeah. But there's gonna be a hell of a lot of parties to attend this summer.

In Dutch we call what I'm feeling now 'plaatvervangende schaamte': you're obviously not ashamed, so I'll be ashamed for you.

The table, pot, beer cans and stains aren't too too bad in and of themselves, but just being inconsiderate in your actions is far worse.

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

I think it's your fault. I hate to be an asshole, but you are responsible for the party and it's actions.

Personally, I hate parties. I hate people. Persons are okay, People are shit.

I think Necromancer here summed it up quite nicely. It was stupid, as you said, and the only person you have to blame is yourself. Really, this is the sort of situation every single sitcom and children's cartoon that has ever existed has an episode on. The "Oh, my parents are away so I'll throw a wild party and learn the value of responsibility, moderation, and fighting peer pressure!" episode. It's one of the most cliche'd situations that exist.

The only thing I don't understand is how you can enjoy parties like that. Property damage, drunken puke all over the place, drugs in the house...how is any of that fun? Does anyone who was there even remember half of what happened? I have had loads of fun around other people in my life, and we have never had to resort to any of that to have it. If you enjoy that sort of chaos, then the only thing I can tell you is to make sure you don't do it at your parent's house again.

Personally, I find those sorts of parties to be just plain retarded. If you need to get that inebriated just to have fun, then you must be hanging with a pretty lame crowd. That's my opinion, anyway.

Also, if I were your parents, I'd tally up all of the damages and make you earn the money to get the stuff back. You're 17, plenty of places would hire you. If you think you're such a wonderful damn adult that you can go around and drink beer like a 21 year old, then you can get a job, pay for the shit you wreck, and pay rent for the place you live in like all adults have to. And if you haven't changed your mind when you turn 18, you'll find all of your belongings in the front yard. At that point, you are legally an adult, and they are not obligated to look after you anymore. They can turn you out on a whim.

 

[Bassik]

What kind of party was it anyway? My parties (in my own house) usually consist of a couple of guys sitting on the couch, stoned out of their minds. Nothing ever gets destroyed.

You seem to be more upset that your parents are angry at you then because of what you have done. Maybe rethink the situation?

Captcha: onvern reflected. What is it tryint to tell me?

 

[cuppajoe1687]

You're an idiot and a coward.

First off, you're 17, so you shouldn't even be drinking in the first place. Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right. Your parents are mad at you now, as they should be, and you don't want to face the consequences. Man up, stay at home and take what ever punishment they dish out. You want to be a big man and drink? Deal with the outcomes.

You're not a swell guy. You're just another 17 year old who thinks he's an adult. You're not. Your parents have every right to be ashamed of you because you acted like an idiot. What would you have done if that fire didn't stop at the table? I'm a 20 year old male and I'M ashamed people like you exsist.

Stay home and cop it you sook.

Judge much?

More like a hard ***** slap of truth.

The sooner the OP realizes what a twat his behavior is, the better chance he has of not becoming another degenerate moron. It's not even the fact that he has idiot friends that light his shit on fire, it's the fact that instead of understanding why he's in his predicament and learning from it, he wants to skip out on it and run to grandma, so he can become HER problem next.
Why? Because he likes parties.

OP, if you want your parents trust and respect back, the answer is one word: Accountability. Learn it, apply it, and maybe you won't be an embarassment to them or your generation anymore.

Hahahaha, "A hard ***** slap of truth," Really? Be careful with that attitude buddy, because when you fuck up (and you will, everyone does) you're gonna have a real tough time owning up to it and recovering from it. You're making this guy out to be some sort of crazed junkie stealing whatever he can; if he was as bad as you're making him out to be, he wouldn't be asking your advice.

I implore you to try and understand this situation as a human being. Recognize that this guy is human like you and me and has made mistakes like you and me. Has experienced pain and loneliness like you and me, and has experienced joy and love like you and me. He's a scared kid, and if I was in his situation I'd want to run too (I wouldn't run, but I'd certainly want to).

Even if you're right about this kid, and he doesn't really care and is just gonna shove it under the rug and fuck up more and more. Do you really think telling him off in this manner is gonna do it? People do what they do (One of the best ways to get someone to do something is to tell them not to), and this guy might never grow up. He might end up fucking up forever and becoming a chump of the world; whatever, he dug his own grave. He might end up fucking up so bad that his own guilt finally gets the better of him (not our accusations, HIS guilt) and he turns over a new leaf. He might end up taking this for what it is and grow up (doubtful, I know). but if a man is just digging a hole for himself. You can't pull him out of it, nor can you yell at him to stop digging. All you can do is ask him why he's wasting his time and let him know it could be put to better use. If he doesn't listen, walk away and don't turn back.

I'm 23 and I've done much worse things. I've dealt with my guilt; but it's MY guilt, and I guarantee you the many, "hard bitchslaps of truth" I've had to endure never helped. I got myself out of that hole because of some quiet, powerful, understanding from people around me; never because of judgement. "Hard bitchslaps of truth" belong in soap operas and the third-fifth seasons of an Alan Ball tv show, not real life.

 

[Aeonknight]

snip

I have a reason for being harsh rather than understanding. It was the way he presented his situation in the OP.
He realizes he fucked up (title says so) but shows little remorse for it... He wants to run away so as to escape dealing with consequences and feelings of isolation that he rightfully deserves. And then with his "on the other hand" remark, it sounds like he'd do it again.

This does not paint me a picture of a scared, guilty teen. He fails to grasp just how serious the situation is. Like the person you quoted earlier, that fire could've been alot worse. Had the cops been called, they could've been busted for underage drinking and possession of an illegal substance.
And best of all, since he's 17 his parents would've been the one to bite the bullet for him.

But hey, he likes to party, right?

Finally, his closing line in his OP of

What do you think of this, Escapist? What would you do in a similar situation?

doesn't say that he's looking for advice. If he wanted advice he would've said "what should I do?" He came to the Escapist looking for justification for running away to Grandma's. He came here hoping we'd understand and give him our approval (for whatever little it's worth. Yes we are just random jerks on the internet) for his course of action. Does he deserve sympathy? Not in my book.

 

[KingofallCosmos]

Incredible reactions here. Surprises me that there's also personal insult, I thought that wasn't done here.

To OP: Don't worry too much. Part of being young is not seeing the consequenses. Your parents know this, but right now they're just shocked. Give it time, show you understand that you don't necessarily have to set fire to a table to have a great party and it'll work out.

 

[samaugsch]

How about apologizing and attempting to make up for the damage by getting a job and paying for all the expensive shit you broke? Part of being an adult is being able to deal with your mistakes and learn from them. Avoiding them isn't something I would recommend because in the end what happened was entirely your fault. Avoiding your mistake would also be a "betrayal" of sorts as instead of attempting to remedy the situation you're letting your parents deal with it while you basically run away.

I'm 17 and I haven't yet found a job (currently looking!), I could no way afford to replace that table. I've tried apologizing and owning up to my actions, but they don't want to hear it. My step-dad doesn't even wanna talk to me.

I think the best thing to do would to get out of their hair for a while.

No. Doing so would only show them you've learned absolutely nothing from the experience. Whether or not you can replace the table is irrelevant, the act of attempting to repay is just enough to show your parents you're not a complete fucktard. Man up and deal with the consequences.

Did you even read what he wrote? He said his parents don't want to hear it. He's right to leave them alone for awhile. Of course, he should clean everything up the best he can before doing so.

They don't want to deal with him right now because they're angry at what he's done. He shouldn't leave, instead he should show he's grown enough to actually deal with the consequences of his actions.

Hmm. I guess that could work if his parents don't mind the fact that he has to stick around to do this. He said that he's getting the feeling that his parents don't want him around for the moment, so it would seem to me that doing just that would be the last thing anyone would want to do. I don't know if there's much else anyone could do in that situation after fixing up everything and trying as hard as you can to prove you regret what you've done, and not because you got caught.

 

[Sonicron]

So you betrayed your parents' trust, caused actual damage to the house, stored illegal narcotics in your room, and now you're going to run off to granny?

Way to go, champ. Try looking up 'responsibility' in a dictionary if you have a moment to spare.
Also, you must be a brilliant judge of character to surround yourself with friends who want you to hold on to their drugs for them while they're away.

I may sustain brain damage from the impending epic facedesk.

 

[otakon17]

I'm not going to bother reading the other posts at this point, so sorry if this sounds like a broken record by now. Apologize, and truly attempt to help pay for the damages that happened. Going to your grandmother's place isn't going to help much. Try your absolute hardest to help around the house and talk to your parents. Running from the problem will not make it better. You must be honest and sincere in your attempt to regain their trust and truly earn it. I'm sorry if this sounds preachy, I have been in a similar situation which I won't bring up for personal reason. Bear responsibility for your actions, and rectify them however you can is really all the advice I can offer. I hope this helps, and good luck.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

Hmm. I guess that could work if his parents don't mind the fact that he has to stick around to do this. He said that he's getting the feeling that his parents don't want him around for the moment, so it would seem to me that doing just that would be the last thing anyone would want to do. I don't know if there's much else anyone could do in that situation after fixing up everything and trying as hard as you can to prove you regret what you've done, and not because you got caught.

Whether they mind him being there or not is irrelevant. In the long run his parents will appreciate the fact that he took responsibility for his actions.

 

[samaugsch]

Hmm. I guess that could work if his parents don't mind the fact that he has to stick around to do this. He said that he's getting the feeling that his parents don't want him around for the moment, so it would seem to me that doing just that would be the last thing anyone would want to do. I don't know if there's much else anyone could do in that situation after fixing up everything and trying as hard as you can to prove you regret what you've done, and not because you got caught.

Whether they mind him being there or not is irrelevant. In the long run his parents will appreciate the fact that he took responsibility for his actions.

That's true.

 

[Gitty101]

Hate to say this, but you reap what you sow. All you can do now is hope that they can forgive you and just keep apologising until they do. Maybe offer to replace what was damaged? Running off to your Nan's house isn't the answer.