God damn, Escapist. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad.

[viranimus]

What should you do? Thats easy... Flame for a flame. Find your friends who were dicking around with fire, and well, douse them in gas and incinerate them.

problem solved.

 

[BanicRhys]

You did something stupid and things went to shit, live with and learn from the mistake. Your parents will get over it soon enough.

Oh, and make sure you sleep with on eye open for the next few days just in case one of your parents tries to murder you in your sleep. I don't know your parents so I don't know what they're capable of, so you might have nothing to worry about. But still, better safe than sorry.

 

[icame]

Its entirely your fault that you are in a situation that has mad your parents disappointed. I would tell you to suck it up and deal with it because your have no one to blame. Running to your Grandma's isn't going to fix anything, in fact it may make things worse.

 

[goldenjester]

I can think of a way you can start to pay back for some of the damage...you said you moved valuable stuff into your parent's room so it wouldn't get damaged. Consoles, instruments, etc.

Sell it. Get the money and give it to your parents. You messed up-you destroyed their stuff (indirectly) and engaged in illegal activities on their property.

Also, stop partying. At least until you're legal to drink. You're 17 and your profile says you're British. It's not that far away. Trust me on this.

 

[kebab4you]

Man up running away won't help you at all! And pay for that damn table is the least you can do...

 

[Harrowdown]

You're young, it happens. Keep out of the way for a bit, then apologise and help deal with any expenses. Also, have better friends at your parties in the future.

 

[Instinct Blues]

Also probably cut back on the partying for a while

Well, maybe at my own house, yeah. But there's gonna be a hell of a lot of parties to attend this summer.

Thats most definately not gonna restore your parents trust in you in the slightest. Now since they've found weed in your possesion and you threw a party that destroyed their house they are gonna be more suspicious of you than ever before. So even if you say you're just gonna stay over at a buddy's house their minds are gonna automatically go to "Hes probably going to be drinking and doing drugs there we shouldn't let him go for his own sake" Also you're way too young to be partying that just brings nothing but trouble because before you know you're blacking out and doing all sorts of stupid shit you wouldn't normally do.

P.S. I think weed is basically harmless there are really few negative effects to it. Not nearly as many as what comes with alcohol and it astonishes me that weed is illegal while alcohol isn't. So if you're going to do any of that stuff, which lets admit you probably are because the Escapist isn't gonna convince you to stop partying no matter how logical it is. Literally just smoke weed because when you smoke weed no one ever feels like setting things on fire and the worst thing that happens is you eat all the food thats in your house..

 

[Dastardly]

My mom is angry and disappointed in me, my step-dad said he's ashamed of me. I really don't feel welcome in my home. I feel kind of regretful for holding this party and betraying my parent's trust, but on the other hand, I REALLY like parties. Tomorrow morning, I'm taking all my shit and I'm hightailing it to my grandma's house. I need to get out of here for a while.

What do you think of this, Escapist? What would you do in a similar situation?

EDIT: I think they understand about the weed, but are still kinda disappointed. Also, for the moment at least, I can't reason with them.

Not sure what you think going to your grandma's house is going to fix. You need to be there cleaning up the mess you made. This isn't the kind of thing that "blows over." You violated their trust and the sanctity and security of their home. What if that fire had been inside?

Think about that. Their home. Not yours. You are a resident, but you do not own it. You do not pay the bills that keep it standing, powered, watered, and full of food and safety. What you did isn't any better than if I came over to your house with a bunch of friends and had a drunken, fiery party.

While you're gathering up "your shit," think about how much of it you paid for and how much of it you didn't. Then, look at the stuff you did pay for... and think of how little of it you could have bought if you had to be paying bills, or buying all of the stuff you didn't pay for. Odds are, that would leave you walking out the door butt naked and hungry.

So, yeah, if you think you need to give your parents a cooling-off period, stay with your grandma for awhile. But what you really need to be doing is learning. As trite as it sounds, think about what you did... not from your own perspective, but think about it from theirs. The fact that they haven't already kicked you out is nothing short of a miracle of parental love. You're pretty damned lucky.

And consider the problem of your fixation with parties, because when you've got "your own place," you're going to find that your party-throwing resources are going to be a lot harder to come by. Rent/mortgage. Phone. Power. Water. Cable. Car. Gas for car. Insurance for car. Food. Toilet Paper. Soap. Dishes. Maybe cable/internet/etc. if you've got any left over. Then think of all the time you'll spend "not partying." Work. Dishes. Laundry. Cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom. Vacuuming. Taking out the trash.

And then think about how much it would piss you off if, after all this time and money went into this place, someone came over and broke some of your stuff (There goes some of your money) and made a mess of the places (There goes more of your time). Woo. Parties rock, when someone else has to deal with the fallout.

Seriously, if you're grown enough to think you can run to your grandma's, you should be grown enough to wrestle with the implications of what you've really done here. It ain't about the party--that hint is free of charge.

 

[Humble Grapefruit]

It looks to me like you really don't regret it enough. When you say you don't mind drinking and you like to party, it obviously shows how you need to step up the responsibility and take it like... the man you should've been to kick them out!

 

[Rancid0ffspring]

Not normally this kind of guy but this kind of whinging winds me up.

This is all on you dude. You disrespected someone elses property & didn't have the good sense to cover it up. How about you man up & take responsibility for your actions?

Seriously, running away to your grandma's not going to resolve anything. Why should she be burdened for your mistake?

As for accidents with lighters? Are you really that naive?

It's weird, I hear of crazy parties like this, but none of my friends set fire to shit or anything like that. I don't know how anyone, even when drunk, could do that and not feel like a total asshole. I'd chew your "friends" out.

Oh, it was mainly this one guy's fault. I'm REALLY pissed off at him. He didn't even help clean up, and one of my friends told me he was laughing and joking about it straight after. I mean, he didn't even put out the fire, he left it and thought it was hilarious.

....no! Just.... NO!

Pop down to your nan's house for a while give it a couple of days to sink in with your parents then come back and say sorry then it will all be cool.

This is my plan.

This is a cowards plan & will only make the fallout worse!

 

[Jasper Jeffs]

I think you just made this thread just to brag or something, the whole original post had that corny "yeah, I party pretty hard" tone. You remind me of this person I know on Facebook who has photo albums named "Hangover part one", "Hangover part two" etc and posts statuses of his nights out in a forced insouciant tone so as to appear as a "wild kinda guy" amongst the people that know him.

Do you really need advice? I doubt it because I'm sure you've figured out by now all you've gotta do is apologise and wait, or just simply deny everything.

 

[The3rdEye]

I'm 17 and I haven't yet found a job (currently looking!), I could no way afford to replace that table. I've tried apologizing and owning up to my actions, but they don't want to hear it. My step-dad doesn't even wanna talk to me.

I think the best thing to do would to get out of their hair for a while.

Your parents know and understand the financial situation of a 17 year old. If you actually know and are friends with the people you had over, have you considered asking each of them for $5-10 to save your asterisk? Booze and weed are not cheap so obviously there's money floating around there somewhere. It might be worthwhile to try tapping into the "what happens to one of us affects us all" mentality, not to mention that regardless of who did it no one wants to see their friend in the doghouse. Give the money (all of it) to your folks to go towards replacing the table, and tell them how you got it. Asking friends to help you fix a stupid mistake is not one of the most glorious things to do, which your parents will understand and appreciate. It will also show them that you're serious about making amends and taking responsibility.

Also, do NOT ghost out on your folks. Yes it will feel better that way, but staying with your grandparents does more for you than them. While you're away letting the storm blow over, essentially unaffected, they'll be mulling it over in their heads and amongst themselves. The "damage" will probably be more extensive if you're absent than if you were there to mitigate it. Being home to take the heat and discomfort is a large part of the reparations you need to make in order to get things back to normal.

In short succinct terms;
- Get your friends to chip in some money to give to your folks for the table.
- Clean all traces of the party, the sooner the better (again, friends are perfect for this). Go so far as to put all the garbage/cans into bags and in the garage. On garbage day, take them out yourself. If at all possible, do all this when they're not home. Let them see your results, not your efforts.
- Don't engage your parents. That is, don't start talking to them, but if they need help with something, silently offer it. For all intents and purposes your name is Mud for the next little bit, and therefore should not speak unless spoken to.
- Don't run away to your grandparents. Face the fire, it's part of your atonement.
- Remember how shitty this entire situation is the next time you decide to do something stupid.

 

[Jumpingbean3]

Also probably cut back on the partying for a while

Well, maybe at my own house, yeah. But there's gonna be a hell of a lot of parties to attend this summer.

Seriously though I would not recommend that and I highly doubt your parents would approve. However, if you really, REALLY feel the need to go to parties try to moderate how many parties you go to and when you do go try to keep from getting more than a little tipsy and if it gets out of hand, leave immediately. This way you may be able to show that you CAN be responsible. They probably won't believe you at first but in time they should come to trust you again.

On top of that, the next time they leave you home alone (probably some time in the next five years) try to do something constructive around the house like tidy up or... Anyway, my point is try to do something constructive and if at any point you think "maybe it would be easier if I just [insert idea here]" do not follow through with it. Hopefully this should make it easier to forgive you.

Finally, the next time you want a party at your place ASK. Should the planets align and your parents say yes be sure to remain sober (a good host must be in a good state to keep control), invite only the people you're sure you can trust to be responsible, limit your alcohol supply to keep people from getting too drunk and if someone starts causing problems ask them to stop and if they don't, make them leave (be calm and polite and don't use force except as a last resort).

EDIT I'm surprised I haven't seen a song by Ween on this forum yet.

 

[Ham_authority95]

So, I was home-alone for a whole week. I thought, "Hey, I'm a pretty swell guy. I think I'll just go and invite a ton of my friends and throw a big, drunken party!". Honestly, though, the party was fun. But shit.

The back-garden table ended up being set on fire, leaving a fairly expensive table pretty badly damaged. This is the main issue. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, I just know a couple of my friends were smoking in the garden and were dicking around with lighters.

The other big thing, is that a guy at my party was going on holiday in two days, and asked me to hold on to a bag of weed for him. I don't do that stuff myself, I tried it and it's really over-rated. Anyway, I didn't hide it very well, because when my mom came home she found it with a few hours. She was pretty angry with me. She was also angry at finding random empty beer cans hidden around the bed, and seeing the side of my bed was sick stained (a friend of mine CANNOT hold his drink).

My mom is angry and disappointed in me, my step-dad said he's ashamed of me. I really don't feel welcome in my home. I feel kind of regretful for holding this party and betraying my parent's trust, but on the other hand, I REALLY like parties. Tomorrow morning, I'm taking all my shit and I'm hightailing it to my grandma's house. I need to get out of here for a while.

What do you think of this, Escapist? What would you do in a similar situation?

EDIT: I think they understand about the weed, but are still kinda disappointed. Also, for the moment at least, I can't reason with them.

Well shit, I guess you've learned your lesson, now haven't you? Sure, your friends behaved pretty stupidly, but you invited them.

If you like parties so much, than learn to do them without being a fuck-up.

Something positive out of this: You now have no excuse to not be a somewhat responsible person in the future. Good luck.

 

[gibboss28]

Yup you fucked up, now sort it out. Pay for the damages and speak to ya parents. Sure they're disappointed but chances are high they've been there, done that and got the t-shirt.

Also, friends who don't bother to help you sort shit out after a party probably aren't worth counting on in the future, just my two cents.

 

[The Lawn]

To put it simply: You... Fucked... Up... Badly.

As the oldest of my siblings and having a younger troublemaker of a sibling who always invited people over whenever my parents weren't home to trash the place while I was at work or class. So I fully understand how parents feel, because I always had to clean up afterwards and if I missed something it was on me because it was my responsibility.

You're lucky you legally can't just be thrown out yet to be perfectly honest.

Clean up your act. Show some responsibility. And SHOW your parents you are sorry by making sure for the next couple of weeks your parents don't have to do ANYTHING. Vacuum your house, do the dishes right after eating, clean the windows, do some yard work.

You know what you need to do to get back on your parents good side. Just leaving will most likely make the situation worse and show you don't have what it takes to be a responsible adult.

 

[TiefBlau]

I think Number 1 on your agenda in gold print should be,

"Get less shitty friends."

 

[AugustFall]

Don't run away from your problems. Make it up to them.

 

[Jumpingbean3]

EDIT:

Also probably cut back on the partying for a while

Well, maybe at my own house, yeah. But there's gonna be a hell of a lot of parties to attend this summer.

Aww man you beat me to it. I knew I should have used the Naked Gun clip instead.