God damn, Escapist. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad.

[Warlord211]

This is the reason you never throw parties at YOUR house. Break into someone else's house and throw a party and break their shit.

I'm kidding. But seriously don't throw parties at your own house, it always turns out bad.

 

[gphjr14]

Get a job pay for the table and own up to what you've done. You've broken the trust you had with your parents and now have to rebuild it running to grandma won't help. Also Jack Black is a horrible actor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd4s088LA8o

 

[AMX58]

ouch dude thats fucked up excuse the french there but yeah dont know how to help ya there

 

[Dr. wonderful]

Supa snip

*Sign deeply*

You don goof.

Alright, so the thing to do is earn their trust. Here is the thing it going to be slow and painful. Start doing chores around the house. Helping your mom and stuff. Volunteer for the crap that no one else want to do. Yes, you have to apologize.

Will they forgive you? Maybe. If you go to your grandma house, what the freak is she going to do about it?

Actually the parents will hate you more.

 

[Ashcrexl]

i have nothing too useful to add. just apologize and eventually it will blow over.

but i had to comment to say you have fucking 1337 POSTS! HOLY SHIT!

ok sorry, good luck!

 

[Caiti Voltaire]

This is the kind of thing you;d get the birch for if I did it at your age, which is a lot more recent than a lot of people seem to think (do I look old? bah).

(For those that don't understand the scottish/british turn of phrase, 'getting the birch' refers to corporal punishment, the name comes from teachers using wooden rulers to discipline students Im told)

Simple fact of the matter is you betrayed trust that was placed in you. You can either try to repair the trust you've broken, or you can run off and burn the bridge. There is no roadmap or magic fix to the first. Just sincerity and an acceptance of responsibility. The second scenario - running off - seems much more likely, though, since I seem to get the impression you're more concerned about the weed and friends.

And dude, on that I'll just say one thing - friends come and go, but you're stuck with family. So they should come first, before that, as should fixing things with them. If you want to have a comfortable next 50 to 80 years anyways.

In fact, a general rule of thumb in life, speaking as someone whose had both through-the-very-fires-of-hell-and-back supportive kinds of family members (my sister, god rest her soul), and family members who hate me entirely (my father, when I came out of the closet so to speak) ... the latter is a real real pain to "fix". The thing with sour relationships is unless you're really sincere in wanting to fix them, and really want to, its not going to go anywheres, and chances are you're going to have to sacrifice some pride, if nothing else, to get there.

Personally were I in your situation, I would own up to it, and say 'look I don't have a job to pay for the damages now, but when I get one, I will pay you x amount out of every paycheque until I do' whereby x was like half of it or something. That's not just accepting responsibility, which is not only good but neccesary, that's offering reparations too, and ones that aren't going to drive you into the ground, either.

 

[broli4000]

I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm in my mid 20's and married in my own place now. I had my fair share of fun when I was living at home and I know where you are coming from. However.......

The fact of the matter is, you haven't learned anything from this whole thing. You know you were stupid for throwing the party, but the only thing you feel bad about is in getting caught. Which in its own right I can understand about the table, but they found beer cans and puke stains everywhere? Unless you are living in some BS "Kid N' Play" movie where your parents got home a day early, during the party, you should be ashamed simply for not cleaning your ass off before they could get in the door.

You mention that you are going to run off to your Grandma's house for a little bit so your parents can chill out. They have every right to be pissed and running off just makes it seem like you don't understand why they would be angry with you. How about you get the hell off the computer and clean your ass off? Vacuum the carpet, wash the cars, etc around the house while you bust your ass looking for any job you can get so you can man up and pay them back. Your parents don't want apologies, or excuses, they want you to man up and do what you gotta do to resolve the problem, and that involves earning your keep in chores and straight up cash.

But lets all be honest here. You really don't care so much in any of that. You were lazy in planning the party, lazy in watching everyone and lazy in trying to hide the whole thing afterwards. You don't take your actions seriously and you won't learn (still gonna head out to parties pretty much confirms that).

Just remember.... college dorms and roommates will kick you the hell out for this type of crap, not just be ashamed.

 

[broli4000]

Double Post

 

[paintman]

you did something stupid.

the world will piss on you for a while.

Life will move onward.

Some day life will likely piss on your kids for a similar decision.

Such is how the world works

 

[Nickolai77]

Funnily enough, my mother admitted to doing something similar when she was 17 actually.... She had a load of drink glasses and bottles all lined up on an ironing board ready to be put away after a party she'd hosted, when she knocked the ironing board and all the bottles smashed, drink and glass went everywhere. She thought her parents would go mental, but instead i think they saw how scared she looked so they just talked to her disapprovingly about it.

Anyway, on topic. I would suggest that the main failing was inviting the wrong people. Part of the thing with house-parties is that one should invite only the right kind of people-i.e-one's which won't leave weed in the house or set fire to tables. It's never best to think you can either control such kinds of people and or remove all threats of property damage- people are unpredictable and so it's best that they wern't there in the first place.

 

[No-one Special]

You're an idiot and a coward.

First off, you're 17, so you shouldn't even be drinking in the first place. Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right. Your parents are mad at you now, as they should be, and you don't want to face the consequences. Man up, stay at home and take what ever punishment they dish out. You want to be a big man and drink? Deal with the outcomes.

You're not a swell guy. You're just another 17 year old who thinks he's an adult. You're not. Your parents have every right to be ashamed of you because you acted like an idiot. What would you have done if that fire didn't stop at the table? I'm a 20 year old male and I'M ashamed people like you exsist.

Stay home and cop it you sook.

Judge much?

More like a hard ***** slap of truth.

The sooner the OP realizes what a twat his behavior is, the better chance he has of not becoming another degenerate moron. It's not even the fact that he has idiot friends that light his shit on fire, it's the fact that instead of understanding why he's in his predicament and learning from it, he wants to skip out on it and run to grandma, so he can become HER problem next.
Why? Because he likes parties.

OP, if you want your parents trust and respect back, the answer is one word: Accountability. Learn it, apply it, and maybe you won't be an embarassment to them or your generation anymore.

Hahahaha, "A hard ***** slap of truth," Really? Be careful with that attitude buddy, because when you fuck up (and you will, everyone does) you're gonna have a real tough time owning up to it and recovering from it. You're making this guy out to be some sort of crazed junkie stealing whatever he can; if he was as bad as you're making him out to be, he wouldn't be asking your advice.

I implore you to try and understand this situation as a human being. Recognize that this guy is human like you and me and has made mistakes like you and me. Has experienced pain and loneliness like you and me, and has experienced joy and love like you and me. He's a scared kid, and if I was in his situation I'd want to run too (I wouldn't run, but I'd certainly want to).

Even if you're right about this kid, and he doesn't really care and is just gonna shove it under the rug and fuck up more and more. Do you really think telling him off in this manner is gonna do it? People do what they do (One of the best ways to get someone to do something is to tell them not to), and this guy might never grow up. He might end up fucking up forever and becoming a chump of the world; whatever, he dug his own grave. He might end up fucking up so bad that his own guilt finally gets the better of him (not our accusations, HIS guilt) and he turns over a new leaf. He might end up taking this for what it is and grow up (doubtful, I know). but if a man is just digging a hole for himself. You can't pull him out of it, nor can you yell at him to stop digging. All you can do is ask him why he's wasting his time and let him know it could be put to better use. If he doesn't listen, walk away and don't turn back.

I'm 23 and I've done much worse things. I've dealt with my guilt; but it's MY guilt, and I guarantee you the many, "hard bitchslaps of truth" I've had to endure never helped. I got myself out of that hole because of some quiet, powerful, understanding from people around me; never because of judgement. "Hard bitchslaps of truth" belong in soap operas and the third-fifth seasons of an Alan Ball tv show, not real life.

I'm actually training to become a youth worker, so empathy is my future career. I'm actually quite good at it too, I'm coming second in my class. However, this person is not a client of mine. He wasn't asking advice (as someone else pointed out) he's looking for approval to leave. Almost everyone here has said for him to stay home and deal with it. Because I put it bluntly I'm judgemental? Why should I sugar coat it? He fucked up, learnt nothing, and is seeking out approval from others to get away with it. He doesn't deserve a cookie and a pat on the back. He deserves the truth.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

I think it's your fault. I hate to be an asshole, but you are responsible for the party and it's actions.

Personally, I hate parties. I hate people. Persons are okay, People are shit.

amen to that. i just could never word it properly

 

[McMullen]

I REALLY like parties.

You have three major problems.

One, you have displayed astounding disrespect and recklessness, and I don't think you fully understand just how thoroughly you've spat on your parents here. If you did, the sentence I just quoted wouldn't have been in your post or your thoughts, because you would be too preoccupied with regret for your actions and a desire to make it up to your parents to give any thought to how much you like parties.

Two, you have not learned enough about life to understand how empty and meaningless parties of this kind are, and how many other hobbies/diversions/social events are available to you that are infinitely more rewarding and fulfilling, and as a bonus, don't involve the destruction of your parent's home or furniture (or, possibly, freedom, since you brought drugs into the equation as well).

Three, you haven't learned to distinguish between friends and parasites. Friends will go out of their way to avoid putting you in situations like this, and attempt to discourage you when you seem about to bring trouble like this on yourself. They respect you and don't want to see you come to harm, and in many cases will actively do things to help you get ahead in life, provided that you are a friend to them as well. Parasites have neither respect nor any inclination to keep you out of trouble. Whether or not they are bored is more important to them than how you will be affected by their actions, and so they will feel free to do things like play around with lighters and set your parents' furniture on fire. Parasites should be avoided; they will always find someone at whose expense they can have fun, there's no reason for that someone to be you.

Parasites are also the ones with a lack of concern for their parent's house when such concern would be an obstacle to their having a bit of fun. Don't be like that anymore.

It is quite possible to have an active social life and have fun, and even have parties, without bringing anyone to grief. It is quite possible to have friends that get along so well with your family that all of you can get together and have a genuinely good time. It is quite possible to have friends that, rather than get you into trouble, care about your well-being enough to help you get into college, get a job, or simply take care of your dogs for a weekend while you're out of town.

During your party, was there anyone there who was enjoying themself but also taking time to make sure that people didn't throw up on the carpets or break or steal things, or who stayed the next morning to help clean up and minimize the damage? If so, those are your real friends. Everyone else can be cut out of your life. Don't worry, chances are they will barely notice.

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

Man, if this is the worst problem your life has faced so far, you are going to be perfectly fine.

Oh fuck no, not by a long shot.

Anyway, I did end up scurrying off down my nans. And lo and behold: They have cooled off! In fact, my mom is asking me to come home, because she said it's weird with me not around. (But erm, I dunno, I'm enjoying it here.)

Anyway, the specific TABLE BURNING friend is banned from my house indefinitely, she won't give me ANY money until the table is paid off (It's job-hunting time), and I'm never allowed in the house alone for more than a day ever again.

Fair punishments, really. Thanks for all your advice, guys!

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

Also probably cut back on the partying for a while

Well, maybe at my own house, yeah. But there's gonna be a hell of a lot of parties to attend this summer.

In Dutch we call what I'm feeling now 'plaatvervangende schaamte': you're obviously not ashamed, so I'll be ashamed for you.

The table, pot, beer cans and stains aren't too too bad in and of themselves, but just being inconsiderate in your actions is far worse.

What? I am not ashamed of the party, obviously. I'm ashamed of what ended up happening, though. Still, that's not just gonna grind my social life to a halt, is it?

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

I REALLY like parties.

You have three major problems.

One, you have displayed astounding disrespect and recklessness, and I don't think you fully understand just how thoroughly you've spat on your parents here. If you did, the sentence I just quoted wouldn't have been in your post or your thoughts, because you would be too preoccupied with regret for your actions and a desire to make it up to your parents to give any thought to how much you like parties.

Two, you have not learned enough about life to understand how empty and meaningless parties of this kind are, and how many other hobbies/diversions/social events are available to you that are infinitely more rewarding and fulfilling, and as a bonus, don't involve the destruction of your parent's home or furniture (or, possibly, freedom, since you brought drugs into the equation as well).

Three, you haven't learned to distinguish between friends and parasites. Friends will go out of their way to avoid putting you in situations like this, and attempt to discourage you when you seem about to bring trouble like this on yourself. They respect you and don't want to see you come to harm, and in many cases will actively do things to help you get ahead in life, provided that you are a friend to them as well. Parasites have neither respect nor any inclination to keep you out of trouble. Whether or not they are bored is more important to them than how you will be affected by their actions, and so they will feel free to do things like play around with lighters and set your parents' furniture on fire. Parasites should be avoided; they will always find someone at whose expense they can have fun, there's no reason for that someone to be you.

Parasites are also the ones with a lack of concern for their parent's house when such concern would be an obstacle to their having a bit of fun. Don't be like that anymore.

It is quite possible to have an active social life and have fun, and even have parties, without bringing anyone to grief. It is quite possible to have friends that get along so well with your family that all of you can get together and have a genuinely good time. It is quite possible to have friends that, rather than get you into trouble, care about your well-being enough to help you get into college, get a job, or simply take care of your dogs for a weekend while you're out of town.

During your party, was there anyone there who was enjoying themself but also taking time to make sure that people didn't throw up on the carpets or break or steal things, or who stayed the next morning to help clean up and minimize the damage? If so, those are your real friends. Everyone else can be cut out of your life. Don't worry, chances are they will barely notice.

1. Yeah, I guess I am a bit of a dick.

2. I like to draw things sometimes, I play videogames, I got to the cinema alot, and I play bass. I also party. Is that okay?

3. Well, actually, yeah. The ones that were the most helpful and respectful were the people I consider my TRUE friends. But hell, I can still have lesser friends and acquaintances, right?

 

[Pyramid Head]

The fact that you have any recollection at least means that the party didn't get as bad as it could have. You've got to look on the bright side. No fatalities!

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

So you betrayed your parents' trust, caused actual damage to the house, stored illegal narcotics in your room, and now you're going to run off to granny?

Way to go, champ. Try looking up 'responsibility' in a dictionary if you have a moment to spare.
Also, you must be a brilliant judge of character to surround yourself with friends who want you to hold on to their drugs for them while they're away.

I may sustain brain damage from the impending epic facedesk.

Yes, I must be a brilliant judge of character, since this guy has been my best friend of 9 years. And it's not like he's doing coke or anything like that, it's just weed. I've done weed occasionally. He doesn't smoke it that often, and it's about as dangerous as alcohol. Get over yourself.

Oh, and in regards to the first paragraph: Yes, that was the plan. Thank you for re-capping. You're an excellent narrator,.

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

You fucked up. Shit happens. Pay off the damages, promise not to do it again, make sure they believe you about the weed. Sorted. Live and learn init, hope the party itself was wicked

It WAS pretty wicked.