"God, I'm such a ****ing idiot."

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ejb626

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Aug 6, 2009
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L3m0n_L1m3 said:
Brushed my teeth with shaving cream.

Not quite as delicious as it looks.
I remember there was a Jack Prelutsky poem I heard a lot in First Grade about some kid having a bad day that contained that very line. I don't remeber the rest though.

OT: I once accidently punched myself in the nuts, I was just walking down the hallway swinging my arms slightly, and BOOM! nut-shotted myself.

Another time I called the police because I thought my grandfather was missing, so I entered my granpa's workshed with two police officiers one of which had a gun drawn and there he is the "missing person"
 

NuclearPenguin

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Oct 29, 2009
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I fell down the stairs with a tray of soup and a coffee, I burnt myself
I kicked my ferret on accident due to it scaring the living shit out of me while playing System Shock 2
I was spinning a glass bottle in my hand (Just a habbit) and the lid fell off.
 

MR T3D

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Feb 21, 2009
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i was a 'shall i come over' from sex last friday.
wake up, look as messages, those were my words.
thats more idiot that your feeble trip-ups
 

TMAN10112

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Jul 4, 2008
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I was really thirsty once, poured myself a tall glass of milk, chugged it, then noticed that it was warm for some reason......and that the glass of milk I just poured was still on the counter.

Turns out that someone else just happened to leave a full glass of milk on the counter for who-knows-how-long, and stupid me had just drank it by accident.
 

Blatherscythe

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Oct 14, 2009
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stood for a minute in front of an automatic door before realizing that I was standing outside infront of the out doors.
 

Brain_Cleanser

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Dec 18, 2009
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WHENTWOTRIBESGOTOWAR said:
fell up the stairs... /thread
I've done THAT before. That's nothing special.

As for me, not counting "sending emails you probably shouldn't" and stuff like that, I think it goes to the time that I accidentally called Michael Jordan a football player. I was focusing on something else. All I knew was that they were talking about a sport with balls.
 

Klarinette

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May 21, 2009
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People seem to be confusing something clumsy with something stupid.

Clumsy: Walking down a staircase, going to turn the corner to the second flight, missing the first step, rolling the rest of the way down. My argument: it was dark.

Stupid: Spending ten frantic minutes looking for the glasses that were either on my face or in my hand. That's probably one of the most irritating stupid things I do.

Also stupid: Watching myself rinse the toothpaste off of my toothbrush, simply because I had put the toothpaste on before rinsing the brush, which I normally do first. I stopped, turned the tap off, looked in the mirror and said out loud, "Wow, I am really fucking stupid."

Blatherscythe said:
stood for a minute in front of an automatic door before realizing that I was standing outside infront of the out doors.
Definitely done that more than once. Or searching around a manual door that has no handle for me to pull, realizing it's a one-way, exit-only door.
 

HentMas

The Loneliest Jedi
Apr 17, 2009
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I Accepted to give my ex wife %50 of my earnings for our son

without a fight

knowing that if we went into a legal argument i would win over the kid

knowing that I may be better suited to take care of our son than her

... why do i still love her??
 

TerribleTwitch

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Mar 3, 2010
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This has happened many a time with me. Whenever I walk home from school, I always manage to run into at least one of the trashcans that stand on the sidewalk on trash days.
 

CINN4M0N

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Jan 31, 2010
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First kiss. I was so nervous, went in too fast. Teeth were knocked together. Pretty embarrassing, but eh, atleast I had my aiming right.
 

Radelaide

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May 15, 2008
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Magic Hobo said:
Shouted at my mother that she was a ***** yesterday.
Had to apologize today, she was actually trying to be helpful.
I did that today. And I'm damn well not apologising. She is a *****.
 

the_tramp

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May 16, 2008
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Amalith said:
I once tripped and missed. I managed to land a bit later though, for those that are concerned.
Damn, I thought you were going to make a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy joke then...

OT: Trying to get my housemates' attention as 'Hey guys... hey... HEY!' wasn't working I hit myself in the head with a pan to get their attention (in a shocking, what the f--- sense). However I was quite drunk at the time, hit myself with all of my strength and half-concussed myself.
 

Double A

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Jul 29, 2009
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One day, I forgot how to walk backwards.

A Monday, if you didn't already guess.