I can say of myself that this is true for the last half a year or so, but before that I also lived op's point. There were like eight or ten girls between senior year of high school and now (5ish years) that I had be interested in varying degrees. I am now stuck eternally as friends with all of them. I am so damn sick of hearing girls say that. It's the most frustrating thing in the world.JanatUrlich said:That's just an excuse that people make for why they're not getting laid.
The fact is that most 'nice guys' are just too much of a pussy to ask girls out and push for what they want. That doesn't make you a nice guy, it makes you a coward.
Your insightful and completely accurate post has no place in a discussion like this! All "Nice Guys" are inherently downtrodden and bear the crux of the world's problems due to the evil combined force of the Jerks and Women.Labyrinth said:Let me begin with a simple statement. If you open a relationship with a woman as a friend, you portray only the intention of being a friend. Is it any surprise she puts you in that capacity? Really? Going into a 'friendship' with the intention of sleeping with the woman is dishonest, underhand bullshit.
The "Nice Guy(tm)" is, really, not nice at all. Blaming on one's situation the faults of one's character is not a good move. In relationships they tend towards abusive and emotionally controlling due to insecurity and self-obsession. Their inability to establish stable sexual relations is the fault of the women around them, for whatever reason. Women don't date Nice Guys because most of us have dated them before, and learned from the experience. This behaviour either drives women away or attracts the kind of predator who no-one should be in a relationship with.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
Instead of being a Nice Guy(tm) try being a genuinely compassionate and attentive human being. Not every woman will cast herself at your feet. In fact, few will. That's pretty normal. Some, however, are likely to accept your desires and reciprocate them. A relationship doesn't consist of one side fetishising the other and the other as a passive vassal for this. It's a two-way thing.
Edit: I feel it important to add that I've noticed a trend amongst Nice Guys for catagorising humans into three groups. Jerks, Women, and Nice Guys. All women (or all women under 30) are to blame for his relationship woes because they go for the Jerks. Obviously they like being abused or something like that. This kind of core misogyny is a major factor in the Nice Guy's troubles. Treating females like we're people too is important for any kind of empathy.
In my experience, most serious 'yes men' at work are complete dicks (as in they do whatever is asked of them but ***** about their coleagues behind their backs). I consider myself an actual nice guy, but if i think something isn't fair or makes no sense I will stand up for myself.masterchevyman said:So i have decided that being a nice guy has no benifit in the real world, being a yessir man at work doesnt help and being really nice to women has me permanatly stuck as friends it sucks
What?masterchevyman said:So i have decided that being a nice guy has no benifit in the real world, being a yessir man at work doesnt help and being really nice to women has me permanatly stuck as friends it sucks
The whole idea of 'women always date jerks' is self-fulfilling prophecy for so-called Nice Guys because in their eyes any bloke with a girlfriend is automatically classified as a jerk.Labyrinth said:Edit: I feel it important to add that I've noticed a trend amongst Nice Guys for catagorising humans into three groups. Jerks, Women, and Nice Guys. All women (or all women under 30) are to blame for his relationship woes because they go for the Jerks. Obviously they like being abused or something like that. This kind of core misogyny is a major factor in the Nice Guy's troubles. Treating females like we're people too is important for any kind of empathy.
When I think "nice", I think relaxed, intelligent and willing to help others (within reason), not doormat, which is what a "yessir, you're always right sir, I'm a yes-man, sir" is.masterchevyman said:So i have decided that being a nice guy has no benifit in the real world, being a yessir man at work doesnt help and being really nice to women has me permanatly stuck as friends it sucks