good guys finish last

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Klepa

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Apr 17, 2009
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I agree in the sense that there's no point being a nice guy if you'll never get credit for it. And there's no reason not to be a dick, if you know you won't get caught.
A good example is traffic. People, atleast in here, drive like shit, cut eachother off, and behave like massive dicks. They only do it, because if they'd always let everyone pass, and obey all the rules, they'd be late everywhere they go. Nobody is going to thank them, nobody is going to remember, and they'll never get any credit for their actions.

It's like when you're going to the movies. Even when everyone's supposed to have one armrest, just rest your arms on both of the armrests, and be a dick. Nobody's going to make a fuss about it.
 

Harlemura

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May 1, 2009
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I'm nice. Sure, means I've not built up any courage over the years, but at least I have friends. On top of that, there's no one out there that hates my guts.
No responsibility, minimal worries. Why would you want it any other way?
 

deus-ex-machina

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Jan 22, 2010
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You can be nice as you like in life. Just make sure you have a reserve vicious streak for those times when you know you're being walked over. I get on with... everyone I know and meet in real life except for the few people who happen to work in call centres for companies who have screwed me over somehow. I appreciate it is not the person's fault, but if you don't ***** at them properly, next thing you know you're looking at your phone in silence thinking 'Eh? What the hell just happened?' as they swindle you out of a good rant.

Girls always go on about how mature they are, yeah?... You can pretty much tell who the mature girls are because they lose fascination with the assholes and go for the guys they enjoy being around. Suddenly your 16 year old 'friend' might become your 17 year old 'girlfriend'. Guys aren't the only ones who need to grow up.

Women? Only if you're a puss does it leave you finishing last - Not because you're nice... but because you're a pathetic prospect for a life-long relationship or one night stand. Some women are the exception to the rule, but some people never mature enough to realise what can make them happy.
 

daubie

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Mar 17, 2010
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JanatUrlich said:
That's just an excuse that people make for why they're not getting laid.

The fact is that most 'nice guys' are just too much of a pussy to ask girls out and push for what they want. That doesn't make you a nice guy, it makes you a coward.
I can say of myself that this is true for the last half a year or so, but before that I also lived op's point. There were like eight or ten girls between senior year of high school and now (5ish years) that I had be interested in varying degrees. I am now stuck eternally as friends with all of them. I am so damn sick of hearing girls say that. It's the most frustrating thing in the world.
 

JEBWrench

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Apr 23, 2009
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Labyrinth said:
Let me begin with a simple statement. If you open a relationship with a woman as a friend, you portray only the intention of being a friend. Is it any surprise she puts you in that capacity? Really? Going into a 'friendship' with the intention of sleeping with the woman is dishonest, underhand bullshit.

The "Nice Guy(tm)" is, really, not nice at all. Blaming on one's situation the faults of one's character is not a good move. In relationships they tend towards abusive and emotionally controlling due to insecurity and self-obsession. Their inability to establish stable sexual relations is the fault of the women around them, for whatever reason. Women don't date Nice Guys because most of us have dated them before, and learned from the experience. This behaviour either drives women away or attracts the kind of predator who no-one should be in a relationship with.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Instead of being a Nice Guy(tm) try being a genuinely compassionate and attentive human being. Not every woman will cast herself at your feet. In fact, few will. That's pretty normal. Some, however, are likely to accept your desires and reciprocate them. A relationship doesn't consist of one side fetishising the other and the other as a passive vassal for this. It's a two-way thing.

Edit: I feel it important to add that I've noticed a trend amongst Nice Guys for catagorising humans into three groups. Jerks, Women, and Nice Guys. All women (or all women under 30) are to blame for his relationship woes because they go for the Jerks. Obviously they like being abused or something like that. This kind of core misogyny is a major factor in the Nice Guy's troubles. Treating females like we're people too is important for any kind of empathy.
Your insightful and completely accurate post has no place in a discussion like this! All "Nice Guys" are inherently downtrodden and bear the crux of the world's problems due to the evil combined force of the Jerks and Women.
 

Eliam_Dar

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Nov 25, 2009
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I have to disagree about the concept of Alpha Male now, you can be an Alpha Male and be a kind person (I actually believe that I have achieved this)

If wikipedia is to be believed: "The term "alpha male" is sometimes applied to humans to refer to a man who is powerful or in a high social position"
 

Actual

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Jun 24, 2008
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Not certain about with women, so I won't comment on that.

However in a work environment being a good company man is often the only way to advance, do everything you're told to, do extra, and kiss arse along the way and promotions shall be yours.

It sucks, and the people who operate this way often aren't nice guys at all.
 

Slycne

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Feb 19, 2006
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Just reinforcing what others have pointed out, but what you are describing is not an issue of being nice. It sounds more like an issue of failing to be assertive or take initiative, neither of which require being a jerk.
 

socialmenace42

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May 8, 2010
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masterchevyman said:
So i have decided that being a nice guy has no benifit in the real world, being a yessir man at work doesnt help and being really nice to women has me permanatly stuck as friends it sucks
In my experience, most serious 'yes men' at work are complete dicks (as in they do whatever is asked of them but ***** about their coleagues behind their backs). I consider myself an actual nice guy, but if i think something isn't fair or makes no sense I will stand up for myself.

Also, being in the 'friend zone' with girls can be frustrating, but if a girl turns you down for 'not wanting to ruin your friendship' she probably never had strong feelings for you in the first place, but is trying to protect your feelings and as such is a good friend to keep. Either that or she wants to keep her conscience clean, which in fairness is only human.

I think I'm over-simplifying a little (there are many different motives for things that women do that men will never understand, after all) but my point remains if you are convinced that you are doing the right thing by being a nice guy, that's fine. Dickwads who either coast on the underside of society letting other people take care of all their problems and the animals that hunt each other down for the 'number 1 headbands' of society, i pity them.

It's true, i have a very strong moral compass, but I'm happy to remain mid way on the social ladder if it means I can remain who i am. you may insist that nice guys always come in last, but if everyone was a dick where would we be?

Sorry, i just needed to have a little rant :D
 

_Cake_

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Apr 5, 2009
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No no no! WRONG! Being nice isn't the problem, usually it's being weak. SO many guys use nice-guys-finish-last as an excuse when they never ask women out.

If you like a woman let her know you like her right from the start, you can NEVER be put in friend mode. If she says flat out lets be friends tell her that's not an option cause your attracted to her. Guys who pretend to be your friend for years then spring it on you that they like you seem phony. It feels like the whole friendship was a lie. Don't do that.

Also cute guys (and girls) are jerks more often. They could be just working on physical attraction.
 

Baby Tea

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Sep 18, 2008
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masterchevyman said:
So i have decided that being a nice guy has no benifit in the real world, being a yessir man at work doesnt help and being really nice to women has me permanatly stuck as friends it sucks
What?
Whoa whoa whoa! There is a huge difference between being a 'yes man' and a nice guy.

I was always the 'nice guy', and I'm married to an amazing woman. You know what girls I couldn't get? The insecure girls with daddy issues. And once I met my amazing wife, I realized that those girls weren't what I wanted. My 'nice guy' attitude, also got me multiple jobs, promotions, and raises. It also got me out of trouble, when some girl at my old job tried to frame me for treating her poorly (Which I didn't do). But since management knew I was a 'nice guy', they knew she was lying. 'He would never say that' is what my boss said without hesitation. No trouble.

Being a nice guy is awesome.
I've got free stuff by being nice to the people who work at restaurants and video stores!
Plus, I can just 'be happy' without having to waste my time and energy being angry or jerky to people. I like making people smile, and I like being polite. I like holding doors open, I like helping people with their problems, and I to be respectful of people I meet right off the bat, rather then expecting them to 'earn it' like some whiny millenial.
It's made my life very happy.

If nice guys finish last, it's because coming in first isn't a big deal to them.
They aren't racing to the end, they are enjoying the view.
 

Natdaprat

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Sep 10, 2009
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Screw everyone in this thread! Yes, you too!

- My point being is that if you act like that, nobody's going to like you.
 

dex-dex

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Oct 20, 2009
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remember that at first the girl will go with the bad boy but they won't stay with the bad boy

also it may help if you made a move.
 

RhombusHatesYou

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Mar 21, 2010
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Between There and There.
Country
The Wide, Brown One.
Labyrinth said:
Edit: I feel it important to add that I've noticed a trend amongst Nice Guys for catagorising humans into three groups. Jerks, Women, and Nice Guys. All women (or all women under 30) are to blame for his relationship woes because they go for the Jerks. Obviously they like being abused or something like that. This kind of core misogyny is a major factor in the Nice Guy's troubles. Treating females like we're people too is important for any kind of empathy.
The whole idea of 'women always date jerks' is self-fulfilling prophecy for so-called Nice Guys because in their eyes any bloke with a girlfriend is automatically classified as a jerk.

Not to mention the poisonous little fucks are always looking for cracks to exploit in a relationship. So willing to smear shit against the bloke to try and turn his girlfriend against him.
 

TG MLPDashie

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Apr 9, 2010
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just hang bags of sand from the roof and place watermelons/pumpkins around the place, buy a sword and go f*#@ing nuts
 

Booze Zombie

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masterchevyman said:
So i have decided that being a nice guy has no benifit in the real world, being a yessir man at work doesnt help and being really nice to women has me permanatly stuck as friends it sucks
When I think "nice", I think relaxed, intelligent and willing to help others (within reason), not doormat, which is what a "yessir, you're always right sir, I'm a yes-man, sir" is.

Also, being a girl's friend isn't some death sentence to the prospect of you getting into an intimate relationship with her, in fact it can be a great foundation for such a thing.
Of course, if you've got a problem with girls, it could all be down to the girl's your approaching and how you're approaching them, you wouldn't approach a sex-crazed person with flowers, chocolate and the promise of a long well-thought out conversation and you wouldn't approach a romantically-inclined person wearing nothing but a thong whilst promising sex so good that God could hear it.

Just take each situation on it's own merits, you can't generalise life.
Well, you can, but I've found it doesn't work very well.
 

DSK-

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May 13, 2010
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You'd be surprised how being nice to people and minding yourself will get you in life.

Of course you don't act like that all the time. Some situations may necessitate authority and other such mannerisms.

Treat people how you want to be treated and more often-than-not it will be reciprocated.