My issue with a lot of these points is context.
"I love my captain." Kaylee ignores Mal's sniping because she is the brilliant engineer who makes his ship run, and sure he can lock her up if he decides he no longer needs it to do that.
Wash enjoying his wife's body is appropriate. They are married. Also, it's not like he poses some threat, she could break him in half.
The word thing is actually interesting (the greater ratio of words from male characters than female characters) and probably has some significance. The universe Joss has created is not a nice one, it retains some of the problems of the current world. I don't think the imbalance is intentional, but it may well be a response to ingrained ideas about how dialogue among people of both genders works. But back on track.
Mal is a dick to Zoe on occasion. and Kaylee, Inara, the preacher and the doctor whose names escape me right now, Jayne, business associates, acquaintances, old friends, old enemies and total strangers. It's called having flaws. He has insecurity issues which cause him to push boundaries and constantly try to assert his control over situations. No it's not good behaviour, because he's kind of messed up. The only person he isn't a dick to is River, because that would just be low.
His relationship to Inara is messed up because he is messed up. Not as bad as Jayne, perhaps, definitely not as bad as River, but messed up nonetheless.
Whereas Kaylee ignores Mal because she has the knowledge and knowledge is power. Inara can extend compassion because she is stable within herself. Zoe enjoys her strength while allowing for both softer emotion (which puts her ahead of Mal in the maturity stakes) and for the feelings of her husband. He doesn't run her life, but she cares about him and shares the power in the relationship rather than bulldozing over him. River...well River is a very well-trained victim. She isn't empowered, she's barely even aware of her surroundings. She can kick butt, but it isn't personal strength coming through. And that's ok. That's her character. I'm happy with gleefully independent Kaylee, emotionally centered Inara and powerful, mature Zoe. And yeah, they're all flawed human beings with weaknesses, but their strengths are pretty notable.