great lies to tell little kids.

[cartzo]

what are some really brilliant lies to tell to little kids for amusement?
here are a few to get the ball rolling:

If you put a slice of ham in a dvd player it will play a short film about pigs.

Every night, the cat buries a new piece of chocolate in the litter box.

It's bad luck not to name every ant you see.

The yellow snow tastes the best.

 

[RedPandaMan]

This is...horrible to do to children. These lies should only be told to children by other children to teach them not to trust other people, not for sick amusement by adults.

But, on topic, if you're hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

 

[Smudge91]

if they'll eat carrots they'll see in the dark.
My nan tried "if you eat your crusts, your hair will grow curly", unfortuanly for my grandmother my hair is naturally curly anywho. I think that forms a pretty epic fail.

 

[walls of cetepedes]

But, on topic, if you're hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

*Smacks his hand*
(Does that count as a facepalm...?)

Rain is Jesus' wee-wee. (Taken from the book)

 

[Radeonx]

The hooker was dead when I found her! ....She really was, trust me.

 

[El Poncho]

Homosexual means that you like sports(i'm not homophobic but u know how kids are when it comes to it.)

 

[lolmynamewastaken]

you're adopted because your real parents don't love you, and neither do your fake ones.

 

[Jedoro]

The red glowing stove tickles

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

That's not your real mother, it's a prostitute wearing her skin.
Don't let her know though, then she'll really get pissed off.

 

[Hazy]

You were delivered by the Stork.

I totally didn't run over your bike.

 

[Kabutos]

Not that I would, but if I ever wanted to mess a kid up with lies, I'd tell him that red was blue and vice versa with all colours. This is of course starting from a young age where he will grow up believing that.

 

[Grayjack]

Your parents don't love you. Although, that is probably true.

 

[cartzo]

This is...horrible to do to children. These lies should only be told to children by other children to teach them not to trust other people, not for sick amusement by adults.


my god your right, i'm so sorry i swear ill never do it again, please forgive me.

 

[Robert632]

if you yank on your wiener enough, there's mayonesse in it.

someone has to say it.

 

[Aqualung]

Santa doesn't exist.

Because we all know he really does!

 

[cptRazz]

But, on topic, if you're hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

*Smacks his hand*
(Does that count as a facepalm...?)

Rain is Jesus' wee-wee. (Taken from the book)

I just love that book
Do you have the rabbit suicides one?

 

[Cakes]

So...lying to children is amusing for you?
'the fuck is wrong with you?

 

[walls of cetepedes]

I just love that book
Do you have the rabbit suicides one?

You betcha.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

what the hell guys? I cant BELIEVE you would do this!

a whole thread and not one of you has said "I have candy in my van..."