great lies to tell little kids.

[kijo98]

if you count to 13 a giant brick will hit you

 

[Shoggoth2588]

"There's a new law that says you have to be 18 to eat chocolate. If you eat chocolate before then, you'll be taken to jail"

"You've scraped up your knee? Well, the quickest way to heal it is with lemon juice."

"Yes, Harry Potter is real. In fact, your real parents were killed by Death Eaters."

"If you can spit into the air and catch it in your mouth it's good luck. If you can do it with your friends it's even better luck."

 

[The Austin]

If you Cry hard enough, dead people will come back to life!

Guess the reference...

Uhhhh... The epic of Gilgamesh?

My favorite lie is probably somthing like, "Yellow crayons taste like bannanas, blue crayons taste like blue berries."

Etc.

 

[The Austin]

what are some really brilliant lies to tell to little kids for amusement?
here are a few to get the ball rolling:

If you put a slice of ham in a dvd player it will play a short film about pigs.

Every night, the cat buries a new piece of chocolate in the litter box.

It's bad luck not to name every ant you see.

The yellow snow tastes the best.

Copying things out a book doesn't constitute a thread. That's right, I'm onto you.

And you need the pictures to make it funny.

the thread was popular it promoted discussion so quite frankly mate i dont give a shit.

Hmm, swearing at an opponent and sounding like a thug, clearly the best way to win an arguement...

This is the last post I'm going to make in this thread, because I wouldn't want to derail your popular AND discussion promoting thread, but copying things out of a book and putting it as a thread isn't thought-filled. It's plagiarism.

How about we all just be freinds?

 

[General Ken8]

Draw a chalk circle on the ground and have them stand inside it
Say that if they leave the circle, they turn into a pig, or some animal that they don't like

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

To fly, throw yourself at the ground and miss.

that isnt a lie

Alright then,
"To fly, throw yourself at the ground and miss. It's very hard though, but if you throw yourself from a great height, your chances of success increases tenfold."

Happy?

no, because you havent provided pictorial evidence of this lie's practical use. I WILL NOT BE APPEASED UNTIL I SEE THE SQUISHED REMAINS OF SMALL CHILDREN! or until someone gets me a cheeseburger

 

[The Shrubbery Demander]

The world was in black and white before the 1950's and 60's. My stepdad told me that when I was like 4.

 

[Smagmuck_]

"The monster under the bed is really santa."

That will get them to think and wet the bed in fear.

 

[RanD00M]

Your mom died when you where born.

I said that to a kid once just out in the street.He started crying so i just ran.

 

[wordsmith]

Santa is dead. The sleigh was too heavy because of your presents, and he crash landed in the sea.

 

[SomeUnregPunk]

I heard this one in the hospital..... prior to the girl getting wacked by her dad....
"You have cancer because Jesus wants you dead."

OMG O.O are you serious?

if you ever want to hear the most crazy s*** said to or by kids, go to a children's ward in a hospital and wait in the waiting room.

said by a whinny little kid in a baseball uniform ... "how long are we going to be here? She's going to die anyway, what's the point?"

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

So...lying to children is amusing for you?
'the fuck is wrong with you?

Doesnt it amuse everyone?

 

[sirdanrhodes]

Mummy violently fell down the stairs, and the police don't care.

 

[FolkLikePanda]

He's not your dad...

 

[Lexodus]

You can baptize a cat.
Scientists have bred an entirely liquid dog that has to be transported in a bucket.

 

[Kingsman]

The red glowing stove tickles

"See, the stove-top's only hot when it's red, like fire! when it's black, or only slightly red, it's safe to touch! You'll only feel a nice, warm feeling! Go ahead, try it!"

Got me a couple times when I was young.