great lies to tell little kids.

[ExaltedK9]

But, on topic, if you're hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

*Raises hand to face*

If you're not Christian, God will kill you.

Or maybe he'll kill you for being a smartass...

 

[ExaltedK9]

I just love that book
Do you have the rabbit suicides one?

You betcha.

I've read the rabbit suicide one, was it part of a series of books?

Well I got the Box of Bunny Suicides, and that was just part 1 and 2 so, I'm not sure how long that series runs for. @.@

 

[Gerazzi]

the sunset is red because god is angry at you

the sky isn't blue, you just see colors differently than everyone else

sock puppets contain souls of animals that were beaten to death

if you don't keep the lights on, you will be pwned by a Grue.

 

[Arehexes]

If you Cry hard enough, dead people will come back to life!

Guess the reference...

That guy with the glasses

"Go on Simba cry cry somemore, I guess you don't love your father enough"

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

But, on topic, if you're hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

*Raises hand to face*

If you're not Christian, God will kill you.

An oldie but a goodie...

 

[letsnoobtehpwns]

Get a pack of shock gum and ask them if they want gum. After you shock them, tell them that it's because their not cool enough to have your gum.

 

[Kushin]

"I Killed Bambi's Mother"

"If you touch my bottom drawer, the clown will eat you" - Works best when a jack-in-the-box like clown is trapped in the drawer, ready to 'pounce'

"Ladies should always swallow. Remember that Jimmy!"

"Try drinking fresh orange juice just after brushing your teeth. The taste is amazing."

 

[Somthing]

"Your Dad will be happy with you if you take his beer"
"If you stare at the moon the valkyries will come and kill you"
and
"If you dont leave the computer and let big brother play goblins will try to eat you eyes while you sleep!"

 

[jmorourke80]

Get an ultrasound of them when they still have their vestigial tail; explain to them later in their childhood that they were born with a tail and are different to other kids.

Or...

Get a room under a stair case, line the walls with foetus-looking babies in jars with water. Tell them they these are their aborted brothers and sisters, whenever they misbehave show them the empty spot on the wall that could've been their jar and make them sit in the room til they apologise.

I can't take credit for that last one, it was a friend's idea.

 

[nicholaxxx]

When Airplanes fly it puts a crack in the sky...See, *Points*
If the sky gets too many cracks it could break and fall.

-My Highschool physics teacher.

that comment coupled with your avatar made me roll on the floor laughing.

If you Cry hard enough, dead people will come back to life!

Guess the reference...

nostalgia critic

I totally didn't run over your bike.

Nah. Blame it on the Gypsies, when in fact you steamrolled it.

I will be surprised if anyone catches that reference.

simpsons, also, my mother (when I was young whe would tease me abotu selling me to gypsies, when we had to sell my crib, I apparently gasped and exclaimed " to gypsies?!")

 

[jboking]

Don't interrupt the adults when they're talking or the police will come and take you away.

 

[mongolloid]

if you yank on your wiener enough, there's mayonesse in it.

someone has to say it.

god, those poor,pre-pubescent kids are going to yank their wieners until they bleed and say, "your wrong, it wasnt mayonnaise, it was ketchup"

 

[Somthing]

if you put a picture of yourself with some bones and some graveyard dirt in a box and bury it in a crossroads a pixie will come to give you a whish!!

 

[RedPandaMan]

But, on topic, if you're hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

You sir, Have a cookie for making my day.

[img/]http://thehealthblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/cookie.jpg[/img]

My OT - Tellimg them santa isnt real is a lie. Twiiiiisted.

A cookie? Nice, I was just wanting one of those too.

 

[GrandAm]

Your new stepmom/dad loves you.

 

[Sipo]

my mom always told me that if i stare at the microwave that itll suck my eyes outta my head. i was scared shitless of the microwave fer years =/