great lies to tell little kids.

[Gerazzi]

If you put a slice of bologna in the DVD player, it will play a short film about ham,
do the same with cheese and it will play a short film about cows.

Metroids and Headcrabs mate.

Ninjas will kill your enemies if you can grow a potted plant in your hand.

Hoverboards are real, you know.

 

[Marv21]

Jesus loves you.....AHAHAHAhahahaha I'm sorry I can't even right that with a straight face..ahahahaha

 

[The Oddfellow]

If you stay up past 10 o clock, Ronald McDonald will come out of the dark and take you to Valhalla

 

[Deleric]

When you turn off the lights, it'll take 10 seconds for the monster to get you, but it can't get you if you're in bed.

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

Just tell kids that life is fair. That pretty much blows all of the others out of the water.

 

[teh_spy]

snip

 

[G1eet]

I totally didn't run over your bike.

Nah. Blame it on the Gypsies, when in fact you steamrolled it.

I will be surprised if anyone catches that reference.

 

[Xorghul]

To fly, throw yourself at the ground and miss.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

Hey, too lazy to read all the other posts but, you do know there's 2 books on this?

 

[JWAN]

But, on topic, if you're hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.

*Raises hand to face*

If you're not Christian, God will kill you.

...don't you mean Muslim?
A few thousand years back maybe, but aren't we talking about the here and now?

 

[DogofRaw]

Jesus loves you.....AHAHAHAhahahaha I'm sorry I can't even right that with a straight face..ahahahaha

Damn, I was going to say that...

 

[JWAN]

your adopted is always a classic.

I convinced my neighbor that they were adopted once... then I got grounded for a month lol.

 

[lwm3398]

If you stay up past 10 o clock, Ronald McDonald will come out of the dark and take you to Valhalla

The bad part is...?

Those LEGO men are voodoo dolls. Take off it's head and someone dies.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

If you learn good in schools, you will be rich.
And if you're nice, you will go and be happy with little angels in the clouds.

 

[Sky Captanio]

The best thing to say about Santa is to scare them with the facts.

"Yes son Santa is real. He sneaks into the house and right up to your bed while you sleep." Anyone ever notice how creepy Santa is?

 

[lwm3398]

You were delivered by the Stork.

I was gonna say that!

 

[VargRaev]

If you Cry hard enough, dead people will come back to life!

Guess the reference...

 

[Trivun]

A light spitting of rain is when God is clearing his throat. A short burst of rain is God having a shower. When it's really tipping it down, God is having a bath. Floods are caused when God has got absolutely off his face on cheap lager and now needs to go to the bathroom several times in five minutes.