Have you ever considered suicide?
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I did plenty of times...in Halo CE.
Serious face: I have had a few moments where I thought of it, not as much of whether or not I should do it this very second, but more of what all it would entail if I did. It is a strange thing, trying to fathom just what things would be like when you are dead, and specifically when you commit suicide, as that leaves behind a different legacy than death my other causes.
Serious face: I have had a few moments where I thought of it, not as much of whether or not I should do it this very second, but more of what all it would entail if I did. It is a strange thing, trying to fathom just what things would be like when you are dead, and specifically when you commit suicide, as that leaves behind a different legacy than death my other causes.
Kind of a lot when I was like 10 and maybe a little younger.
Like if I saw a tub of water I would consider sticking my head in and drowning but not anymore.
Well on Christmas I got in a pretty bad fight with my family trapped in a car for quite a while and got away then pulled my knife and considered stabbing myself but didn't.
Like if I saw a tub of water I would consider sticking my head in and drowning but not anymore.
Well on Christmas I got in a pretty bad fight with my family trapped in a car for quite a while and got away then pulled my knife and considered stabbing myself but didn't.
Yeah I definitely have considered it, I guess I thought there were still things to live for that outweighed the crap. I consider killing myself fairly often actually, I think I have some minor symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder.
Actually, I think about it quite often. You know, death is nothing bad. I don't fear death (pain, yes, but not death). I don't believe in any afterlife, so death, to me, is just...nothingness. Eternal silence without sentience or awareness. And seeing as life often is painful, "nothing" often seems more attractive than "pain" (as in, emotional pain).
The thing is, I just don't see much meaning in my life. For example, I'm a top grade student, but when I think about it...it doesn't mean anything. However, society wants me to pursue accomplishments such as good grades, a good job, etc. I don't want to lead such a life with shallow goals, but in order to survive in this world, I have to. I usually spend my days going to school and then being online, just waiting for the day to end and the next one to begin. The repetitiveness is depressing. And always reminding myself not to ponder too much (because it's frustrating) isn't fun, either.
But then again, as long as I can always die but only live a single time, I don't have the guts to kill myself, even though there are completely painless methods.
Oh well, maybe I just need somebody to love. (Now I can't get Jefferson Airplane out of my head)
I'm now waiting for those people who always say "Stop being an angsty kid" whenever someone talks about something like that on the internet.
The thing is, I just don't see much meaning in my life. For example, I'm a top grade student, but when I think about it...it doesn't mean anything. However, society wants me to pursue accomplishments such as good grades, a good job, etc. I don't want to lead such a life with shallow goals, but in order to survive in this world, I have to. I usually spend my days going to school and then being online, just waiting for the day to end and the next one to begin. The repetitiveness is depressing. And always reminding myself not to ponder too much (because it's frustrating) isn't fun, either.
But then again, as long as I can always die but only live a single time, I don't have the guts to kill myself, even though there are completely painless methods.
Oh well, maybe I just need somebody to love. (Now I can't get Jefferson Airplane out of my head)
I'm now waiting for those people who always say "Stop being an angsty kid" whenever someone talks about something like that on the internet.
Yes. Not to end my suffering, but just out of curiosity of what lies beyond. Yeah...sometimes I think too much for my own good.
The only thing that kept me from doing it was the thought that there are people a whole lot worse off than I am.
yea, quite often i used to, but now i just stopped, no explanation, still get the thoughts to briefly run thru my head once in a while but its not as severe.
Two failed suicide attempts. I suck.
These days I eat tons of anti-depressants, so I don't really feel... well, depressed anymore!
These days I eat tons of anti-depressants, so I don't really feel... well, depressed anymore!
Yeah sure. seems to be worse some parts of the month than others (and not because of a period >> shesh >>). and its not just because of some life changing experience, because i havent had many of those. i dont because its against my religion and i havent found a fool proof way to do it (besides ODing on something stupid like Advil)