Have you ever considered suicide?

[blah_ducks]

This is gonna sound awful but I first laughed at this thread because I thought it said "Have you ever committed suicide"

On a more serious note, I've wondered what dying is like but I've never really fallen down hard enough to try and take my own life. I did have a mental breakdown due to Welcome to the NHK and stress from school last year, but it wasn't all that bad so I was able to sleep it off C:

 

[fezzthemonk]

i have considered killing myself. The only thing that stopped me, as odd as it sounds was me distaste for people. I was looking at the knife and thought "if i die, that means everyone else wins. I cant have that". So yeah, I'm alive because of my dislike for people.

 

[chiggerwood]

A couple of years back I decided to kill myself by taking a bunch of aspirin (to thin my blood) then slitting my wrist. I was at college at the time, and there was a circle K next to the parking lot so I went in got a Pepsi, and some cigarettes, took me about five minutes. I then went outside and sitting on a little white wall was a guy praying when I saw that I no longer had the urge to kill myself. I was pissed off because I still wanted to die so I went blowing past the guy, and as I passed I heard a voice telling me to ask him why he was praying, and I said (in my head) to this voice NO!! and kept on walking. It kept on nagging me so I stopped, and said (still in my head) I'll turn around if he's still praying I'm not gonna talk to him. I turned around, and the guy was just finishing. so I went up to the guy, and asked why he was praying, and he said "Well you know it's a sin to pray in public, and Christ tells us to pray in our closet, but God told me to start praying. I asked about what, and God said just pray." I walked off amazed, and feeling a little bit stupid. Usually I have something to say to God even if it's just a quick and angry FINE YOU WIN! but this time I had nothing I just slowly walked away, and to this day I haven't been suicidal.

as far as advice goes hell I don't know. Man the fuck up? that one doesn't work forever though neither does sleep on it you'll feel better. I'll try to think of something profound.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

I did, years ago. I sat in the bath tub and cut big gashes along the entire lengths of my forearms. I passed out, and woke up in the hospital. I realized that if I kill myself, then the other people win. I decided it would be more constructive to join the military and serve until I am killed. So, that's the path I am pursueing.

Don't let others beat you. If you die, they win.

 

[Ossian]

Thought about it for a little while, just "Everyone wouldn't care if I were gone, no one really does care" harp darp type crap. Too interested in where life goes even if I have a crappy life.

 

[rutger5000]

Yep I have on occasion. But the voice in me shouting "FUCK THAT SHIT, DON'T BE A PUSSY AND MAKE SOMETHING FROM YOUR LIVE" has always been much to strong to go through with it. Though I must admit that I would have blown my brains out a long time ago if I had a gun. I mean sometimes live is just to hard, and you forget about the great things it has to offer.

 

[stone0042]

I can honestly say I have not. My life really couldn't be better, I have no reason to have such thoughts. There's way to many things left for me to do, anyways.

 

[Koroviev]

I thought about it all the time when I had an eating disorder. Fortunately, I now have a healthy fear of death.

Edit: I'd advise psychiatric treatment. Personally, I've learned not to act on certain thoughts (those concerning spending money, other long-term things, etc.) unless they remain relevant to me for at least a month.

 

[Paksenarrion]

Sometimes every other day, but usually every other week. Every so often, it comes to a peak at once an hour.

To be fair, it's not that I think about suicide in the usual sense. It's more along the lines of, "Everyone's lives would be better if I were dead. I would stop complicating matters and allow everyone to go on with their lives if I wasn't here."

And then there's the "if I get into a car accident and die, that would be nice" thoughts as I drive home. But then I realize that the person who crashes into me might also get hurt, and I start hoping for a random satellite to drop out of orbit and hit me.

These thoughts stem from feeling like a drain on civilization. All it takes is a strong suspicion that the world would be better off without my bungling, and away my thoughts race!

But, yes, I have problems. I should talk to my therapist about them today during my appointment. It might help if he communicated via lolcats, or something.

No no, that pretty much is "the usual sense". And I hope to Ceiling Cat that you aren't serious. What about all the little snot-nosed kids you take care of? What would they do without you? What happened to the whole "...crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." attitude?

P.S. Does the lolcats reference help?

XD You do cheer me up, thank you. ^_^

It's never really any one reason. Sometimes, the feelings stem from guilt, or anger, or shame, or fear, or just being so tired of living. Throughout, there's an underlying feeling of being powerless.

I love my kids. I love them so much. Sometimes I feel that they would do so much better without me. I do so many things wrong, even when I mean to do right. It's not just enough to want to do good things. I need to be able to do good things properly. So much trust and affection from them; I don't want to fail them. I wish I was perfect.

That's the overriding message.

I wish I was perfect.

That makes me want to punch my lights out, if I were facing myself in mortal combat.

I have nothing to complain about, and yet I keep wanting more. What a selfish *****.

Damn, this is kinda depressing. I'm sorry, ceiling cat. I probably know what you're thinking:

"Time to watch my favorite person masturb-...oh. This is depressing. I'm a go listen to Linkin Park nao..."

While I'm hardly qualified to be giving out psychiatric advice (Doctor Visari's patented "Fuck dealing with personal problems, go to War!" solution), I know firsthand (More like 1.5 hand) how suicide can affect people. Charging up the stairs and having your friend's brother put a round through himself before you can get to the door leaves a lasting impression.

While I can't truly say for certain, I'm pretty sure your kids love you to. Shit, everybody's afraid. I'm afraid I'll get people killed, or that I won't react fast enough or make the right decision and that shit honestly keeps me up at night. But when it comes day time again you have to put on that facade, because for them you're like an immovable rock. You may think you're a fuck-up, but at the end of the day they won't remember when you failed. They'll remember all the times that you were their for them and all the things you selflessly did for them. Lord knows my mother made plenty of mistakes, but the only thing I remember is how she worked multiple jobs as a single mother with no support from anybody and still had the energy to put up with my shit and make it seem like everything was okay.

(Reading back on this I sound like a bloody sap T-T)

If you're a sap, then I'm a goddamned maple tree.

(...because of the-...never mind.)

I know that I'm the immovable rock for my kids, the wall made of diamond, the car made of miles per hour...but I also know that it's a facade. I feel like I'm lying to them. It's not enough to seem strong in front of my kids; I must be knowledgeable. I don't want them to just think of me fondly; I want them to learn and remember something, if not everything.

I want them to know it's okay to ask questions; that sometimes, you need to demand answers. I want them to know that the world is theirs for the taking; but at the same time, they need to learn how to share it.

And mothers are everyday saints. I can only hope to be a tenth as good as my mom is. That's why we love them. ^_^

 

[rutger5000]

A couple of years back I decided to kill myself by taking a bunch of aspirin (to thin my blood) then slitting my wrist. I was at college at the time, and there was a circle K next to the parking lot so I went in got a Pepsi, and some cigarettes, took me about five minutes. I then went outside and sitting on a little white wall was a guy praying when I saw that I no longer had the urge to kill myself. I was pissed off because I still wanted to die so I went blowing past the guy, and as I passed I heard a voice telling me to ask him why he was praying, and I said (in my head) to this voice NO!! and kept on walking. It kept on nagging me so I stopped, and said (still in my head) I'll turn around if he's still praying I'm not gonna talk to him. I turned around, and the guy was just finishing. so I went up to the guy, and asked why he was praying, and he said "Well you know it's a sin to pray in public, and Christ tells us to pray in our closet, but God told me to start praying. I asked about what, and God said just pray." I walked off amazed, and feeling a little bit stupid. Usually I have something to say to God even if it's just a quick and angry FINE YOU WIN! but this time I had nothing I just slowly walked away, and to this day I haven't been suicidal.

as far as advice goes hell I don't know. Man the fuck up? that one doesn't work forever though neither does sleep on it you'll feel better. I'll try to think of something profound.

Man I'm an angry person. I really wanted to lash out at you, and for what? Just because I hear that voice to, but I believe it's coming from me and not God? Anyway thank you, you made me realize I should work on myself.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

It's crossed my mind but I've never considered it seriously.

 

[fingerbang143]

very close but I started thinking about god and stuff

 

[hottsaucekid]

Yes, I went through with it when I was 14 and i've been dead ever since. do i regret it? not in the slightest.

 

[pendragon177]

I've thought about it, but I realized that I wouldn't be gaining much from it and besides, that's not how I want to be remembered.

"It's not what you do in life, it's how you are remembered." ~ Myself.

 

[Scolar Visari]

stuff

No no, that pretty much is "the usual sense". And I hope to Ceiling Cat that you aren't serious. What about all the little snot-nosed kids you take care of? What would they do without you? What happened to the whole "...crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." attitude?

P.S. Does the lolcats reference help?

XD You do cheer me up, thank you. ^_^

It's never really any one reason. Sometimes, the feelings stem from guilt, or anger, or shame, or fear, or just being so tired of living. Throughout, there's an underlying feeling of being powerless.

I love my kids. I love them so much. Sometimes I feel that they would do so much better without me. I do so many things wrong, even when I mean to do right. It's not just enough to want to do good things. I need to be able to do good things properly. So much trust and affection from them; I don't want to fail them. I wish I was perfect.

That's the overriding message.

I wish I was perfect.

That makes me want to punch my lights out, if I were facing myself in mortal combat.

I have nothing to complain about, and yet I keep wanting more. What a selfish *****.

Damn, this is kinda depressing. I'm sorry, ceiling cat. I probably know what you're thinking:

"Time to watch my favorite person masturb-...oh. This is depressing. I'm a go listen to Linkin Park nao..."

While I'm hardly qualified to be giving out psychiatric advice (Doctor Visari's patented "Fuck dealing with personal problems, go to War!" solution), I know firsthand (More like 1.5 hand) how suicide can affect people. Charging up the stairs and having your friend's brother put a round through himself before you can get to the door leaves a lasting impression.

While I can't truly say for certain, I'm pretty sure your kids love you to. Shit, everybody's afraid. I'm afraid I'll get people killed, or that I won't react fast enough or make the right decision and that shit honestly keeps me up at night. But when it comes day time again you have to put on that facade, because for them you're like an immovable rock. You may think you're a fuck-up, but at the end of the day they won't remember when you failed. They'll remember all the times that you were their for them and all the things you selflessly did for them. Lord knows my mother made plenty of mistakes, but the only thing I remember is how she worked multiple jobs as a single mother with no support from anybody and still had the energy to put up with my shit and make it seem like everything was okay.

(Reading back on this I sound like a bloody sap T-T)

If you're a sap, then I'm a goddamned maple tree.

(...because of the-...never mind.)

I know that I'm the immovable rock for my kids, the wall made of diamond, the car made of miles per hour...but I also know that it's a facade. I feel like I'm lying to them. It's not enough to seem strong in front of my kids; I must be knowledgeable. I don't want them to just think of me fondly; I want them to learn and remember something, if not everything.

I want them to know it's okay to ask questions; that sometimes, you need to demand answers. I want them to know that the world is theirs for the taking; but at the same time, they need to learn how to share it.

And mothers are everyday saints. I can only hope to be a tenth as good as my mom is. That's why we love them. ^_^

Well then there you go. Take that desire for your kids then add the warrior spirit and bam, you've got kids better equipped to face life than 80% of the little shits out there. Nobody is going to do something flawlessly, but that's what makes it so special.

Like those stupidly priced glassware things. The flawless pieces made by a machine are like 20 dollars, but the hand made piece that some intern fucked up will cost you a fat pile of dosh just because it has character. (Bad analogy, I know.)

(P.S. That's the second time I've seen you use a Car/Wall/Diamonds/MPH reference.)

 

[Paksenarrion]

stuff

No no, that pretty much is "the usual sense". And I hope to Ceiling Cat that you aren't serious. What about all the little snot-nosed kids you take care of? What would they do without you? What happened to the whole "...crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." attitude?

P.S. Does the lolcats reference help?

XD You do cheer me up, thank you. ^_^

It's never really any one reason. Sometimes, the feelings stem from guilt, or anger, or shame, or fear, or just being so tired of living. Throughout, there's an underlying feeling of being powerless.

I love my kids. I love them so much. Sometimes I feel that they would do so much better without me. I do so many things wrong, even when I mean to do right. It's not just enough to want to do good things. I need to be able to do good things properly. So much trust and affection from them; I don't want to fail them. I wish I was perfect.

That's the overriding message.

I wish I was perfect.

That makes me want to punch my lights out, if I were facing myself in mortal combat.

I have nothing to complain about, and yet I keep wanting more. What a selfish *****.

Damn, this is kinda depressing. I'm sorry, ceiling cat. I probably know what you're thinking:

"Time to watch my favorite person masturb-...oh. This is depressing. I'm a go listen to Linkin Park nao..."

While I'm hardly qualified to be giving out psychiatric advice (Doctor Visari's patented "Fuck dealing with personal problems, go to War!" solution), I know firsthand (More like 1.5 hand) how suicide can affect people. Charging up the stairs and having your friend's brother put a round through himself before you can get to the door leaves a lasting impression.

While I can't truly say for certain, I'm pretty sure your kids love you to. Shit, everybody's afraid. I'm afraid I'll get people killed, or that I won't react fast enough or make the right decision and that shit honestly keeps me up at night. But when it comes day time again you have to put on that facade, because for them you're like an immovable rock. You may think you're a fuck-up, but at the end of the day they won't remember when you failed. They'll remember all the times that you were their for them and all the things you selflessly did for them. Lord knows my mother made plenty of mistakes, but the only thing I remember is how she worked multiple jobs as a single mother with no support from anybody and still had the energy to put up with my shit and make it seem like everything was okay.

(Reading back on this I sound like a bloody sap T-T)

If you're a sap, then I'm a goddamned maple tree.

(...because of the-...never mind.)

I know that I'm the immovable rock for my kids, the wall made of diamond, the car made of miles per hour...but I also know that it's a facade. I feel like I'm lying to them. It's not enough to seem strong in front of my kids; I must be knowledgeable. I don't want them to just think of me fondly; I want them to learn and remember something, if not everything.

I want them to know it's okay to ask questions; that sometimes, you need to demand answers. I want them to know that the world is theirs for the taking; but at the same time, they need to learn how to share it.

And mothers are everyday saints. I can only hope to be a tenth as good as my mom is. That's why we love them. ^_^

Well then there you go. Take that desire for your kids then add the warrior spirit and bam, you've got kids better equipped to face life than 80% of the little shits out there. Nobody is going to do something flawlessly, but that's what makes it so special.

Like those stupidly priced glassware things. The flawless pieces made by a machine are like 20 dollars, but the hand made piece that some intern fucked up will cost you a fat pile of dosh just because it has character. (Bad analogy, I know.)

(P.S. That's the second time I've seen you use a Car/Wall/Diamonds/MPH reference.)

I have to be careful not to actually teach my students take down tactics (as much as I want them to be able to bring down bullies), because violence should not be the solution to bullies.

No matter how tempting it is. XD

It's a fairly old meme in which diamond is the strongest *metal* known to man. (The Car/Wall/Diamonds/MPH reference, I mean.)

 

[Varanfan9]

Once when school grades where getting to me. I stopped when I realized one little bad grade didn't really matter in the long run.

 

[WrcklessIntent]

I used to be really depressed when i was 12-14 worst time of my life i thought about it but never acted because i knew that it would devastate my parents especially my dad. I went on to high school and didn't really interact with others but people started to include me and i found out that not everyone is a dick. I really opened up in the 10th and 11th grade and now i'm a senior and life couldn't be better. Plus its just a small little bonus that i beat the shit out of one of the guys who was the worst towards me last time i saw him. I know there are some cases where suicide will seem like a good option but to me its the cowards way out. Your not only avoiding your problem your going to cause those who love you to be depressed for years that follow. I'm not trying to insult those who have committed suicide but there is always a better option out there. Really corny to mention it but you do need to remember that its always darkest before the dawn. Life can only get better if your at the bottom.