Have you ever "got" the girl/guy?

[Hisshiss]

I blew it hard with a girl I liked way back in highschool, my sophomore year, by accidentally leading her to believe I had brought her a big collection of valentines day gifts in an attempt to court her, and then giving them to some bitchy blonde who I was obsessed with back then, right in front of her no less.

In retrospect I can't believe I didn't catch her signals. But I guess that's just part of being young, she wouldnt talk to me for weeks. On the bright side of all of this, here we are three years later and she just asked me out last night .

 

[The Funslinger]

I seem to have hit a streak where I almost always (and pretty much effortlessly) win when I want to, which boosts my confidence, which in turn seems to make me more attractive etc. It's fun and all, but many girls' attraction to me seems so easy that I don't have to fight for it, which generally makes me... well, not care.

The catch? I'm only really charming in English, and my native language is Dutch. I can't remember the last time I had someone fall for me where it wasn't just my posh British accent that did it (it has literally been over five years), which makes me feel more like an accent with a guy attached than a viable romantic partner. So I don't really connect with anyone emotionally.

The only person I'm somewhat interested in on a romantic level - and the only person I'm comfortable with emotionally - is my ex-girlfriend/best friend/on-and-off friend with benefits, and even that might just be dying down now that we have nothing to fight for/about any more. So in answer to the question: yes, I've fought for the girl and won her before, it's the point where I don't have to any longer that I just get massively bored.

Also a protip: Many women just seem to swoon at the sound of a British accent. Not getting enough action? Practise yours now!

This is somewhat negated for me, as I am British in Britain...

Ah well, I do plan to move to America (for other reasons) so I guess this is a nice perk...

 

[deshorty]

I've always ended up with the object of my affections... that's generally how dating and relationships work. Isn't it? I'm confused.

Wow. Lucky you. So far I've only managed to end up with my crushes twice. All the other times, they have gotten together with my friends.

 

[JemothSkarii]

I've fought for my girl, and we still technically are. Living in another country can be hard, and...my girlfriend went out with another guy for 8 months while being with me. I said I was okay with it, but passively fought for it, in the end, we worked out. Guy was a nutcase, broke her heart, and she's still with me, and she was so sorry for doing that.

We've been together for nearly 2 and a half years.

 

[Nyce1]

Yeah. I was her boss and had a crush for a while on her but was with someone else at the time. Once I was single I still kinda chickened out. On my last day at the place we both worked together at she asked my why we never hung out since earlier I had promised her we would see or movie or something. She called me out so after a romantic meal at "IHOP" and a fun conversation about work and geeky stuff I maned up and told her how I felt. She was shocked but after a few grueling minutes she said I could kiss her on the cheek....lol. So I did and a year later we have done a lot more than cheek kissing and are having a blast together.

 

[Mallefunction]

Honestly, every time I've met a guy that I was really interested in, they were always taken (and of course, their GF was either mega hot or just so sweet that I felt I could never compare to them anyway). I also never wanted to become 'that' girl (the one that ends a perfectly functioning relationship by trying to get the guy to cheat) so I always just backed off.

So no...T-T I have never gotten the guy.

 

[Brandon237]

My girlfriend of almost a year now, After her last boyfriend (a real prick) I helped her through it and through the break-up, I have always tried to be a good friend and then I was stupid enough to play a really embarrassing prank on her, Her email to me started out with "you are dead meat" and by the end of it there was flirting Within the next few emails we planned a date and Voilah, The most amazing girl I have ever met was now my girlfriend and we are still good 11.5 months later

 

[Johnny Impact]

I've always ended up with the object of my affections... that's generally how dating and relationships work. Isn't it? I'm confused.

You've never been told no? Not even once?

You, sir, are either very young, or kidding around, or incredibly, incredibly lucky. I don't know your secret. Maybe you were born beautiful, maybe you have a silver tongue, maybe you have lots and lots of money to spend on them. Count your lucky stars.

But no, that's usually not how it works. Whatever your advantage is, you're in the minority. For a great many people the reality is more like the below: There is only "no" and whatever unspecified horrors we may have endured.

Nope.

And lets leave it at that.

 

[Gxas]

I almost did. I'm still working on it, but I think that things will work themselves out soon.

 

[Stasisesque]

Actually, 'normal' is NOT being able to hook up with every person you've ever fancied.

Depends if you fancy them for who they are/know them quite well I think.

If you fancy someone for a completely superficial reason, rather than actually getting to know them and falling for/having a thing for them then, sure, you might strike out a bunch but if you are close to them already and like them there's a pretty good chance things'll be mutual.

At least from my experience.

Most reasons for wanting to hook up with someone are superficial, not quite sure what your point is. Claiming that it's normal to end up with anyone you've ever fancied is just wrong.

I didn't say it was normal, I said I was normal. Holy crap you people jump to the most depressing conclusions there are.

I am normal. I am just a regular, average, normal woman with no magic qualities that make every guy/girl want to date me. I am just like you, the person next to you, the person behind you - I may even not be as good as you, you might be a superstar actor for all I know. The point is, if I can do it, anyone can. Confidence is key.

You said 'isn't that how dating works', which basically means 'isn't that normal'. People who easily get partners usually have this kind of attitude, since they're too narrow-minded to consider another person's point of view.

For most people who are 'normal', what you're describing does not happen. You have to be a very lucky, attractive or charismatic person to shoot so far above your 'league', or whatever term you want to use, that you are able to 'get' EVERY person you ever desired.

Furthermore, there is an established gender skew against men when it comes to this.

Also, it's of no help to anyone who's struggling to get with the girl/boy they want, to hear someone say on an internet forum 'Oh, doesn't everyone get their girl/boy instantly? I thought that was normal. Oh, I'm confused.'

I asked isn't that how dating works, and then said I was confused. I never stated it was how dating works. I was and still am genuinely confused.

I have never dated anyone I did not want to date. I have never wanted to date someone I did not get to date. True, most of them turned out to be not right for me, but at the time I wanted to get to know them better and so - did. I have never considered this to be because I am lucky, just that I am confident enough to go for it, ask the person out and I've never been told no. I don't know why, but I have always simply considered this is how dating works.

Perhaps it is simply that I don't have crushes. I never pine for someone. The moment I realise my affections for them, I ask them out. I've also stated that I don't try to get someone out of my league.

I've always ended up with the object of my affections... that's generally how dating and relationships work. Isn't it? I'm confused.

You've never been told no? Not even once?

You, sir, are either very young, or kidding around, or incredibly, incredibly lucky. I don't know your secret. Maybe you were born beautiful, maybe you have a silver tongue, maybe you have lots and lots of money to spend on them. Count your lucky stars.

But no, that's usually not how it works. Whatever your advantage is, you're in the minority. For a great many people the reality is more like the below: There is only "no" and whatever unspecified horrors we may have endured.

Nope.

And lets leave it at that.

I'm 25. I'm not joking, apparently I am very lucky.

I don't have a secret, I am not beautiful, I don't have a silver tongue (well... in most regards), I am broke. I would count my lucky stars but I've become some sort of social pariah.

I'm sorry "most" people get shot down.

 

[SckizoBoy]

I've never 'gotten the girl' per se. Two have gotten me, while with the third (second chronologically), it was so gradual from the time we met that neither of us 'got' each other.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I wouldn't say that I've "gotten" a woman because I don't live in a shitty cliche movie.

Relationships shouldn't be like a ball game or Pokemon where you can brag about "getting" someone.

I do have a girlfriend, but I didn't "get" her like some prize or medal.

 

[barbzilla]

No, I never got the girl.
Then again I never really worked hard for her. I gave up before I started.
I was too afraid, I wasn't good enough for her, there are much better guys out there for her.
She's in Harvard for goodness sakes and I'm currently un-employed and not in school.

Though I will say--for a brief couple of days I was her boyfriend. It was just a valentines day prank and to get some guy off of her back.

No worries though, I'm over it I decided to leave my past behind and try harder the next time I like someone.

Sailing in the same ship my friend

Okay just wanted to give you two a heads up. If a girl is choosing you to be her "fake" boyfriend she has at least some interest in you. It means she trusts you and thinks you are a close enough match to be seen as her boyfriend. I can't speak for anything else as I don't have enough information, but you at least have a foundation to stand on there.

 

[EOTD]

It took me around 6-7 years to get the woman I love. we are now married with our first child on the way (est Nov) it's a girl and her name will be Vivienne so my wife can use the nick-name Vivi. When I first met the she didn't know sonic was a game character (only ever seen the cartoons). so I played FF9 with her to introduce her to the world of gaming, guess it left it's mark on her LOL.

 

[Adeoma]

Oh wow well i fell head over heels for this girl told her my feelings several times then i go off to college and start talking to another girl. then bam she asks me out... turn out you have to get em jealous XD. it was great until her counselor had us break up for the sake of her sessions... then the parents said we couldn't see each other ever again... and a big mess went down

 

[Techno Squidgy]

now I feel like everything I say or do is being analysed. Ah well.

It is. My deepest sympathy for you. I made the same mistake, told her at the wrong time. If you're in the same boat as me then it'll be a while before she relaxes properly around you again. I'm sorry buddy, but chin up.

My solution to the problem is to force myself to move on. However, you should do what you think is best. Good luck.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Once.

I didn't even mean for it to happen, I was just telling her the deal and letting her know I would handle it, apologising repeatedly. Then she said she liked me back which was terrible.
Since then the whole thing has been confusing and stupid. So I stopped thinking about it.

So far it's worked for me.

 

[General BrEeZy]

not of the girl i had my sights on, but after half a semester of other guys in my auto mechanics class being around her all the time, my patience, good manners and lack of crowding her all day every class period paid off.
...
too bad she smokes and just totally wasn't good for me, but it proved to me that those kinds of things didn't go unnoticed. MAN i'm glad i don't have to be a cheesy cocky "average-every-day" guy like all the other "chick-picker-uppers" that i know. xD