But if they're already living together won't they already be dealing with those things? Is what I was trying to say.unabomberman said:
HELP! Is this 2 early?
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You created an account on The Escapist - a gaming website - to ask a relationship question. I think you'd find better answers on relationship websites.
But if you must, how old are you? If you're like 18-21 it's pretty young and if you've only been with him that long it's far too early.
But if you must, how old are you? If you're like 18-21 it's pretty young and if you've only been with him that long it's far too early.
Endf of summer holidays. You're starting university in the UK, right? Which means mid-September. So you've been dating him for less than two months.
That's way too soon.
Seriously, if I was you I'd be flattered and all that he's proposing to you. But it's much too soon for you to consider that. You're young, you have all the time in the world to settle down and get married. Have a bit of fun together first. If you're moving in together then that's great, good for you guys. I know a couple who met whilst living together and still do now, after all (they're actually two of my housemates). But marriage this early is just plain silly. If he loves you enough to propose, then he'll love you enough to respect your decision. And my advice to you is that you wait. At least six months, probably better off waiting a year after you move in. I mean, what happens if you move in and ecide you can't stand living together? Everything needs to be considered, and it seems to me like he's rushing in, pretty much.
That's way too soon.
Seriously, if I was you I'd be flattered and all that he's proposing to you. But it's much too soon for you to consider that. You're young, you have all the time in the world to settle down and get married. Have a bit of fun together first. If you're moving in together then that's great, good for you guys. I know a couple who met whilst living together and still do now, after all (they're actually two of my housemates). But marriage this early is just plain silly. If he loves you enough to propose, then he'll love you enough to respect your decision. And my advice to you is that you wait. At least six months, probably better off waiting a year after you move in. I mean, what happens if you move in and ecide you can't stand living together? Everything needs to be considered, and it seems to me like he's rushing in, pretty much.
So you've only been with each other for 3 months (my summer holidays end at the beginning of september. If that is that case I strongly recommend against it because that's really god-damn quick.
Well that sums us up already lol. Why does your post sound so familiar? Oh yeah, you told me that the other day... Now i know why i sounded like you in my previous posts on this thread lolalmightywabbit said:
Let me put the Old Man Hat on. There.
Ah.
The main consideration here is are you both ready? Forgive me if this sounds heartless but love will only take you so far. Eventually, the passion'll die off, trust me, and there'd better be a solid emotional filler to fall back on. Friendship is the best one that I've found. It sounds to me that you just met a few months ago and I think that's too soon to figure out if it's true or not. You say you two never argue but I and my lady love didn't argue for two years, which finally ended after a discussion as she refers to it, on her brother, who is an idiot (but we still love him). It's not a relationship until you yell/scream at each other, throw a textbook (and not one of those sissy paperback ones either) at his head and he puts his fist through the wall. How you deal with it will show whether or not you two can be with each other until one of you kicks the can. Because if you two "sign the pact" you will definitely get into fights, guaranteed. If you can't bring them to a reasonable conclusion/compromise you'll both be miserable.
Now on to the nuts and bolts. First, do you have a steady paycheck/paychecks from a secure job? Marriage, in my experience, puts a hole in your wallet big enough to sail the HMS Ark Royal through with enough room left over for the HMCS Halifax. Debts/bills, how many of them are there/will there be and are your combined incomes enough to keep you afloat or at least treading water while dealing with necessities like taxes, cable, telephone, electricity, gas, insurance, heating, food, internet, water? Next it sounds like the two of you are wading through the pit fight otherwise known as "college", in addition to tuition, should something unforeseen happen (like that ultimate STD known as pregnancy) are one or both of you willing to put your education on hold for the next three years at least (though more likely permanently)? Housing, are you two safely ensconced in a place from which you will neither be kicked out nor have to move for any given reason i.e. to get a better job? Should you lose that house, can you reasonably expect to afford a new dwelling or are the two of you willing to move back in with each other's parents?
Finally, the big one. Are you both willing to make massive and possibly up until now inconceivable changes in nearly every aspect of your lifestyles? Example: when I was single I lived in a basement surrounded by empty coffee cups, beer bottles from the weekly 24 and Styrofoam containers with remnants of take out. Now I have an apartment in a nice neighbourhood, drink tea, have cut my beer consumption to a pint a week, haven't been to a take out place in years and dust every week. I used to be able to sit around on my stained with God knows what/beat up old futon in my underwear and watch six hours of Star Trek a day. Now I have a nice cream coloured couch and only watch one episode of Next Gen (the only one she actually likes enough to watch with me) and American Idol (which I despise but she adores) all the while wearing at the bare minimum shorts and t-shirt (unless of course we're competing in some Couch-lympics, if you get my drift).
If you can answer yes to all those questions then go for it, book the hall, get the bridesmaids, call out for the bachelorette party and let the local hospital+cops know that there'll be several fistfights/brawls after the ceremonies are concluded.
So there you have it. Sorry about being all preachy and windy but it looked like you wanted/needed advice and I didn't want to leave you hanging. In the end though it's all just words and it's up to you to decide if you think they have any relevance. Good luck.
Oh, one last thing, learn whatever his favourite food is and then how to prepare it to perfection. Yes, even if it's haggis. Mmmm, haggis...
Ah.
The main consideration here is are you both ready? Forgive me if this sounds heartless but love will only take you so far. Eventually, the passion'll die off, trust me, and there'd better be a solid emotional filler to fall back on. Friendship is the best one that I've found. It sounds to me that you just met a few months ago and I think that's too soon to figure out if it's true or not. You say you two never argue but I and my lady love didn't argue for two years, which finally ended after a discussion as she refers to it, on her brother, who is an idiot (but we still love him). It's not a relationship until you yell/scream at each other, throw a textbook (and not one of those sissy paperback ones either) at his head and he puts his fist through the wall. How you deal with it will show whether or not you two can be with each other until one of you kicks the can. Because if you two "sign the pact" you will definitely get into fights, guaranteed. If you can't bring them to a reasonable conclusion/compromise you'll both be miserable.
Now on to the nuts and bolts. First, do you have a steady paycheck/paychecks from a secure job? Marriage, in my experience, puts a hole in your wallet big enough to sail the HMS Ark Royal through with enough room left over for the HMCS Halifax. Debts/bills, how many of them are there/will there be and are your combined incomes enough to keep you afloat or at least treading water while dealing with necessities like taxes, cable, telephone, electricity, gas, insurance, heating, food, internet, water? Next it sounds like the two of you are wading through the pit fight otherwise known as "college", in addition to tuition, should something unforeseen happen (like that ultimate STD known as pregnancy) are one or both of you willing to put your education on hold for the next three years at least (though more likely permanently)? Housing, are you two safely ensconced in a place from which you will neither be kicked out nor have to move for any given reason i.e. to get a better job? Should you lose that house, can you reasonably expect to afford a new dwelling or are the two of you willing to move back in with each other's parents?
Finally, the big one. Are you both willing to make massive and possibly up until now inconceivable changes in nearly every aspect of your lifestyles? Example: when I was single I lived in a basement surrounded by empty coffee cups, beer bottles from the weekly 24 and Styrofoam containers with remnants of take out. Now I have an apartment in a nice neighbourhood, drink tea, have cut my beer consumption to a pint a week, haven't been to a take out place in years and dust every week. I used to be able to sit around on my stained with God knows what/beat up old futon in my underwear and watch six hours of Star Trek a day. Now I have a nice cream coloured couch and only watch one episode of Next Gen (the only one she actually likes enough to watch with me) and American Idol (which I despise but she adores) all the while wearing at the bare minimum shorts and t-shirt (unless of course we're competing in some Couch-lympics, if you get my drift).
If you can answer yes to all those questions then go for it, book the hall, get the bridesmaids, call out for the bachelorette party and let the local hospital+cops know that there'll be several fistfights/brawls after the ceremonies are concluded.
So there you have it. Sorry about being all preachy and windy but it looked like you wanted/needed advice and I didn't want to leave you hanging. In the end though it's all just words and it's up to you to decide if you think they have any relevance. Good luck.
Oh, one last thing, learn whatever his favourite food is and then how to prepare it to perfection. Yes, even if it's haggis. Mmmm, haggis...
well, it sounds a tad too soon, and you feel its a bit soon, otherwise you wouldn't have made this thread, the best thing to do is wait it out a bit, plan out your futures, what is he doing job wise, what are you doing as well, are either of you planning for College, or Uni?, can you see yourself loving him till your old and grey?, and if it keeps panning out right, then maybe it may be time to say yes, till then however waiting may be a better option
Well, all of these posters are working on an extremely limited set of information on both you and this guy, so if you respect him, you should not make any part of this decision based on any/all of these postsSlashergirl said:
that said, from just the information you gave, it seems way too early
Hmm, that explains it. See people! This is someone i can live with easily lol and not have a care in the world.almightywabbit said:
OT: Someone with opinions such as these are the type of person you should be with. This type of person knows what they want in life and strive to protect the ones they love and value their opinions. I can honestly say, if your boyfriend/fiance is like mine then you have nothing to fear about the future because you will already feel the strength of the love and know if its strong enough to live together as husband and wife for the rest of your lives!
It seems a tad early, but If you really feel this way about each other, then there's no reason to wait any longer.
Oh, man. I would never marry a guy after only knowing him a couple months. I mean, Christ, you're, what, 18? Ridiculous. Don't tie yourself down so early.
