Hey Dragon, You Can Have Her: The Elder Scrolls IV - Oblivion

[SavingPrincess]

Plain text alone is not a good medium for conveying a video game, because video games are mostly audiovisual in nature.
And it's not that I don't like reading, because I do.
It is the fact that the WALL O TEXT probably puts a lot of people off reading your review, which is probably very good, and which you put a lot of effort and work into.
Which I haven't read, by the way, because I'm one of those people that went
[HEADING=2]OMG WALL O TEXT.[/HEADING]

I don't really write anything with the "I need people to read this in order for me to feel good" kind of mentality. I mean, this has already hit 5 pages with no pictures whatsoever... so, yeah... people will read if they want to read. If you don't want to read it, that's fine, but I don't have to completely change my style to suit your internet habits... there are a lot of other people who put pretty shiny things in their reviews, just look around and find some so you can enjoy them... I can tell you right now that I'm not "your style."

Also, if you don't like the way I do things, don't comment. I guarantee you with the amount of stuff I've put up on this site (with zero pictures), I'm not really going to do things differently, and people who repeatedly DO read my "omgwallotext"s do so willingly.

However, just for you I'll sum up my review:

Overrated, boring and shiny.

Take care.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

I stopped reading after he said "A" button. Apparently you didn't like this game Mr Reviewer, well maybe if you played it as intended (PC) you might have enjoyed it more.

 

[wfpdk]

so true. I'm one of those people who still play that game, in fact i just started a monk type character a few day ago and am replaying it as i type, and honestly, I have all the same complaints and can not for the life of me figure out why I love playing it so much, but then i remember that it's a game and it's purpose is to entertain me, and even though it's technically shit, it still entertains me so I just try not to think about it and continue looting the same 5 copy/paste'd caves and ruins with my retarded looking, rubbery faced abomination of a character.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THAT I'M FUCKING ANGRY.

Now...for one extremely long, hate fueled post edit. Or a double post.

Ohh snap hes mad. But if you're a final fantasy fan(which turned me off on your rant) obviously you're going to adore any anime styled "rpg" more then a real rpg.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THAT I'M FUCKING ANGRY.

Now...for one extremely long, hate fueled post edit. Or a double post.

Ohh snap hes mad. But if you're a final fantasy fan(which turned me off on your rant) obviously you're going to adore any anime styled "rpg" more then a real rpg.

Hi. I'm that guy you just quoted.

Who's to say I can't like both?

I like FF and Oblivion and Dragon Age (not so much the Mass Effect, aka "Let's make a third person shooter and call it an RPG"), and Dragon Quest, and KOTOR, and Morrowind, and Fallout 3, and Fable. And a ton more.

What was that you said about FF fans not liking "real" RPGs?

 

[mike1921]

Melee works fine, with enchanted weaponry.

Urg... This was one of the reasons I didn't like Oblivion...

NPC: "Congratulations! You just completed this extremely difficult quest! Have an enchanted sword!"

Me: "Yay!"

*Goes and kills stuf with it*

Your weapon has run out of enchantment.

*Searches for one of the three weapon enchanters in the game*

Enchanter: "Ah... see, that might cost you a bit..."

Me: "How much? I have plenty!"

Enchanter: "1500 gp. And that's every time you run out."

...

You do loot chests in dungeons, right? Because that's what the soul gems are for, you know.

Not the person you quoted. But I couldn't stand using enchanted weapons because the enchant always depleted by the time I killed 2 fucking ogres. I don't like going into my inventory to get a soul gem to re-enchant my weapon every 12 strikes. I also don't like paying a ton of money for soul gems or remembering to soul trap monsters every 12 hits to keep my weapons enchanted.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

Melee works fine, with enchanted weaponry.

Urg... This was one of the reasons I didn't like Oblivion...

NPC: "Congratulations! You just completed this extremely difficult quest! Have an enchanted sword!"

Me: "Yay!"

*Goes and kills stuf with it*

Your weapon has run out of enchantment.

*Searches for one of the three weapon enchanters in the game*

Enchanter: "Ah... see, that might cost you a bit..."

Me: "How much? I have plenty!"

Enchanter: "1500 gp. And that's every time you run out."

...

You do loot chests in dungeons, right? Because that's what the soul gems are for, you know.

Not the person you quoted. But I couldn't stand using enchanted weapons because the enchant always depleted by the time I killed 2 fucking ogres. I don't like going into my inventory to get a soul gem to re-enchant my weapon every 12 strikes. I also don't like paying a ton of money for soul gems or remembering to soul trap monsters every 12 hits to keep my weapons enchanted.

Did no one else enchant their sword with TWO enchantments? And NOT try to make a sword with overly high enchant power than can only do a few strikes before it's dry? BALANCE, PEOPLE!

Soul Trap 1 sec on strike is dirt cheap. Combine that with a hotkeyed Azura's Star. And BOOM! No menus.

 

[LiquidGrape]

I cannot for the world of me understand this fabled "immersion" people keep referring to.
Personally, I found reality drop-kicking me in the ribs by the second or third time I heard the same two people discuss the same awful amount of hostile crustaceans assaulting the local pier.

 

[Sodoff]

I agree with you.

Very nice article, well written and very interesting.
I never even finished oblivion, I sold it to the local GAME store, the store manager just looked at me as if I was a crazy person,

"you.. don't like.. Oblivion??"

 

[mike1921]

Melee works fine, with enchanted weaponry.

Urg... This was one of the reasons I didn't like Oblivion...

NPC: "Congratulations! You just completed this extremely difficult quest! Have an enchanted sword!"

Me: "Yay!"

*Goes and kills stuf with it*

Your weapon has run out of enchantment.

*Searches for one of the three weapon enchanters in the game*

Enchanter: "Ah... see, that might cost you a bit..."

Me: "How much? I have plenty!"

Enchanter: "1500 gp. And that's every time you run out."

...

You do loot chests in dungeons, right? Because that's what the soul gems are for, you know.

Not the person you quoted. But I couldn't stand using enchanted weapons because the enchant always depleted by the time I killed 2 fucking ogres. I don't like going into my inventory to get a soul gem to re-enchant my weapon every 12 strikes. I also don't like paying a ton of money for soul gems or remembering to soul trap monsters every 12 hits to keep my weapons enchanted.

Did no one else enchant their sword with TWO enchantments? And NOT try to make a sword with overly high enchant power than can only do a few strikes before it's dry? BALANCE, PEOPLE!

Soul Trap 1 sec on strike is dirt cheap. Combine that with a hotkeyed Azura's Star. And BOOM! No menus.

You can enchant your sword with two enchantments? Is this with a mod?

Also, anything less then what I put on my swords is a waste of time.

 

[SavingPrincess]

I stopped reading after he said "A" button. Apparently you didn't like this game Mr Reviewer, well maybe if you played it as intended (PC) you might have enjoyed it more.

Nope, played it on PC too, story, combat, mechanics, etc... all of it... still sucked. Thanks for playing though.

(Side note, I modded Dragon Age: Origins to make it more fun to play so I could get through the story, I didn't feel the need to do so with Oblivion because the story was AWFUL.)

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

I stopped reading after he said "A" button. Apparently you didn't like this game Mr Reviewer, well maybe if you played it as intended (PC) you might have enjoyed it more.

Nope, played it on PC too, story, combat, mechanics, etc... all of it... still sucked. Thanks for playing though.

(Side note, I modded Dragon Age: Origins to make it more fun to play so I could get through the story, I didn't feel the need to do so with Oblivion because the story was AWFUL.)

Fair enough, good sir!

 

[BloodyThoughts]

Oh for gods sake people...

[HEADING=1]IT'S HIS OWN OPINION, SHUT THE FUCK UP![/HEADING]
He is entitled to his own opinion without jackasses trying to prove him wrong, when in the end it all just ends up to be flaming. Seriously, shut the fuck up, and get over that someone didn't like Oblivion.

OT: Great review, and I agree with you. I didn't like Oblivion either. Mostly because of how repetitive and boring it was.

 

[Hairetos]

Oh for gods sake people...

[HEADING=1]IT'S HIS OWN OPINION, SHUT THE FUCK UP![/HEADING]
He is entitled to his own opinion without jackasses trying to prove him wrong, when in the end it all just ends up to be flaming. Seriously, shut the fuck up, and get over that someone didn't like Oblivion.

OT: Great review, and I agree with you. I didn't like Oblivion either. Mostly because of how repetitive and boring it was.

...Wow. IT'S HIS OPINION AND SINCE I AGREE WITH HIM, SHUT UP!

Seriously man? Everyone else is entitled to his or her opinion as well and many people bring up many different good points. If he didn't want opposing views, he shouldn't have posted it. And I would say no more than 20% of the posts are anything close to flaming, if that.

Grow up. I really hope this isn't how you got your 12 thousand posts.

EDIT: I suppose I should actually post my thoughts on this game.

I agree with most of the criticisms, barring those about the environments (I mean come on, for a game that came out years ago it was gorgeous). The main story was terribly boring and the levelling sucked for anyone not willing to grind (my patience and motivation got me through that), but I felt the combat was nothing to complain about. It wasn't stellar, but I can find issues with the combat in ANY game where it's present.

The positives, however, made the game fantastic. The world and environments were expansive, varied, and beautiful. Character development greatly enhanced replay value with different races, birthsigns, and customizable classes to create just about anyone. There were enough side-quests to choke any RPG-fan, with the Guild quests being the most entertaining by far. Exploration filled in times when your motivation ran dry and you just wanted to see what surprises you could find. And when you were done with everything, you still had additional content to download if you wished.

All-in-all, the flaws really are forgivable and I feel that those will be addressed whenever TES: V comes out (I'm hoping they go the direction of the "points" levelling system from Fallout 3).

 

[KurtzGallahad]

I agree with this
I still enjoy the game of course, especially the pilgramage of the nine and the mages guild missions,
The melee is painfully badly done

My review of this review
7/10

 

[Miumaru]

To avoid just be a raving fan girl, I read the whole "I want to be like Yahtzee" review. My eyes hurt. Origin stories in Dragon Age were fun, and work fine in their story driven game, but one thing I love is the freedom a TES game gives. How did my character end up in that jail cell? I could write a small book about it. Nothing adds to replayability better than freedom. I favored Morrowind far more though, it had a much better story...because no glory stealing All I did was die but now Im the best King ever Martin bastard child. People complain about the fighting always about TES games, but what do you want instead? Click on enemy and wait? Do you want to do spins and twirls? How would YOU fight? Also, I love the guy, but Seth does not do that many voices. He knows it too. (The doctor talks to Lois's father)

Somethings could be better, would be nice too, but its still a great and fun game.

 

[Valkyrie101]

I found that Oblivion has absolutely no redeeming factors as far as I care.

It has terrible gameplay that was outdated when Morrowind came out, and was just plain insulting this time around.

It has terrible gameplay mechanics, mostly tied to the nonsensical leveling system.

It has no story. Seriously, the plot is paper-thin, skin-deep and terribly written, with sidequests not even pretending to give you a motivation. The main characters are some of the most forgettable and unremarkable people I've seen in gaming. The sole exception (which someone will call me out on eventually) is the Dark Brotherhood quest chain, but that's about it.

It's boring to look at. Sure, it's pretty, but the actual design is terribly unimaginative. I don't mind generic fantasy settings. There's plenty to do with them (as has been proven by games from Baldur's Gate 2 all the way to Dragon Age), but Oblivion does none of those things. It's just boring.

They forgot voice acting, or recording decent sound effects, or music in general.

It was a bad game.

You missed out the "dialogue". Not the voice acting, the actual "dialogue" itself. But yes, I agree. At first I was entranced by the huge world, but after one playthrough, I've come to realise that there's really no motivation to play it through again.

 

[SavingPrincess]

-complainsnip-

I put up a video for you to watch on the OP so you don't have to read. Happy now?